No Regrets, No Surrender(46)

Zach sighed, but Logan shook his head. They could address her fears all day. Hell, he had more than a few of his own. What did he really know about being a husband? Not crap. But he did know he wanted her—he was never not going to want her. They’d let her go after that night in Vegas because one night did not a lifetime make.

But this wasn’t a one-night stand. Not anymore.



“You don’t have to answer right now.” Zach soothed and she appreciated it, more than he knew, but Logan was right. She had to be in this or out of it.

“It would be easier if I trusted my brain.” That confession cost, but they deserved to hear it. Logan’s glare dimmed and he backed off a step. Pressing a hand to Zach’s shoulder for balance, she stood up. Her right leg dragged. It would likely have a bit of a drag from now on, particularly when she was stressed. The doctors warned her that nothing was conclusive. The problem with brain trauma, they knew what it affected, but there were no guarantees in her recovery.

They couldn’t predict her progress or her long-term diagnosis. It was one day at a time, one crisis at a time. Her prognosis was far from negative, but it didn’t change the position of the rock and hard place sandwiching her.

“See, I don’t remember thinking about us as a long-term thing.” She smoothed down her skirt. She didn’t care about being nude in front of them, but she wanted the barrier, at least while she sorted it out. “I remember living in the moment. Living for the conversations, the talks, the emails—and the leave. But we never talked about forever. We never talked about what it would mean to be all three of us. I want to believe that it will work and that we can make it happen. Like I want to believe that I will gain full function in my arm and my leg. But I don’t—life doesn’t give us guarantees.”

Zach leaned forward, his hands clasped together. This was not how they planned the night. She read it in both their expressions. Logan retreated behind an emotionless mask, his eyes narrowed. Quiet fury radiated off of him.

“You’re angry with me for being hurt and for hurting you both. I’m angry at me, too.” Up until that moment, she hadn’t realized how upset with herself she was. She’d screwed up. She took off her helmet, an IED hit her, and she’d been injured. It could have been so much worse. She could have died or lost a limb.

She looked away from the two of them and limped over to the food. So many mouth watering choices laid out at her fingertips. All she had to do was grab them.

“Jazz?” Of course Zach reached out. Zach who wanted to coddle her, wrap her in cotton, and keep her safe. He never failed to treat her like a lady, even though he respected the fact that she was a Marine. He was quick with the smile, the laugh, and the easy jest.

Logan was harder, edgier, and less forgiving. He demanded so much from himself, it seemed a small wonder that he allowed anyone close to him. He lived with his scars, displayed them proudly, and he didn’t let them inhibit him. Battle-forged like steel. Heated until he withstood anything, and he shared that strength as easily as breathing.

“I love you both so much it hurts.” She didn’t look at them. She needed to get it all out in the open without the distraction they provided. Because looking at them made her want to throw all caution to the wind and damn the consequences. A person could do that when it was a one-night thing or a fling. She didn’t want a fling.

She wanted the forever they offered.

“But I’m a mess. You’ve both heard my doctors. You’ve both watched me struggle. We have no certainty that I’ll get better—hell, I still have seizures.”

“It’s been seven weeks, Jazz. Cut yourself a break. It took me a year to walk normally again.” Logan’s tone betrayed his investment and argued against the retreat in his expression. “I know you’ll do it.”

“But is that fair to either of you?” She gave in to the urge and turned. They stood side by side, looking magnificent in their matching midnight blue suits. Logan’s dark allure complimented Zach’s golden appeal.

“You realize that you’re insulting us, right?” Zach lifted his brows in challenge.

“I’m not trying to, I feel like we need to have it all out in the open. Because I want to say yes—to both of you.” She’d never been so glad of a choice in her life as the one to turn around and face them when she said that. Logan straightened, his shoulders relaxed and relief flooded his expression. Zach merely smiled that singular, heart-stopping grin of his.

“We’re all damaged, babe. Some scars you see and some you can’t.” Logan nodded to Zach. “Even pretty boy, here. You want truth—you want it all out in the open? No, I wasn’t thinking about forever until I thought we might lose you. Those hours we waited to hear who in your unit had been hit were the worst in my life.”