No Ordinary Love(7)

The touch of Rita’s skin on hers quickened Alex’s pulse, making her heart thump in her temples. Alex looked down at Rita’s hand, its fingers so long and perfect. The pleasure they had given her. How they had made her surrender for years on end. Six years and then this. Walking away was not an option.

“Let’s go somewhere more private.” The emotions coursing through Alex were not meant for public display. There was some serious crying to be done. And shouting at this woman who had taken it all from her.

“I still live around the corner.” Rita’s fingers lingered around Alex’s wrist, but more limp than Alex had ever felt them.

Alex nodded and walked out of the bar. Rita left some bills on the table to pay for her over-priced glass of Sauvignon Blanc. At least she hadn’t had the audacity to order a bottle.

The sound of Rita’s heels clacking on the pavement echoed through Alex’s skull. She couldn’t think, only feel. This had to be done. Whatever it was. Whatever would happen. Rita had to repent, despite not being the repenting type by a long shot.

The doorman smiled broadly at Alex. She had lived in this building for three years. She’d made Rita’s apartment her own. It had been their home. Alex shot him an apologetic grin.

The elevator ride to the thirty-fifth floor was awkward but swift. Alex had grown up in a city full of tall buildings and had learned to hide her mental state in elevators from a young age. Instead of looking at Rita, she scanned her own reflection in the mirror.

What did that Mandarin teacher have that she didn’t? It was the one question that had plagued Alex incessantly after their break-up. Why had she suddenly not been good enough anymore?

Alex’s breath hitched in her throat when she entered Rita’s apartment. Everything looked exactly the same as on the day she’d left. An ocean of memories flooded her brain. Rita kicking off her heels after a long day at work, her body slackening but her eyes still full of fire. Rita leaning with her back against the balcony window, demanding that Alex strip just by gazing into her eyes. Rita’s hot body covering her from the back while she pushed Alex into the cold glass of the windows, naked and on display for anyone whose eyes happened to venture to their lit-up flat.

The tension seemed to drop from Rita’s muscles now she found herself on home turf. She untied her hair and let it fall to her shoulders like a soft golden curtain.

“Please, sit.” She walked to the wine fridge and pulled out a bottle of Oyster Bay. “Would you like some?”

Alex nodded eagerly. She approached the sofa and couldn’t help picturing Rita and Peggy on it. Peggy’s naked body splayed out under Rita while she did her thing. Peggy taking Alex’s place. Alex sat down on the corner edge, not wanting to associate her body with anything that happened on the grey cushions after her time on them was done.

“Here you go.” Rita handed her a glass of wine and pulled an ottoman closer. She sat down and stared Alex straight in the face. “I made a terrible mistake. Not one I can ever make right. I do realise that.”

“Why?” Alex mumbled. “Why did you do it?”

Rita took a deep breath. “If only I knew.” Her eyes grew moist and her knuckles turned white as she clenched her fingers around the stem of her glass. “Because I’m weak. And foolish. And only half the woman you are.”

“I did everything you asked me to.” Alex’s voice cracked. “Everything.”

“I know, baby. I know. I’ll never forgive myself for hurting you. Never.” Rita wiped the beginning of a tear from her eye.

“I presume you stopped taking Mandarin classes.”

“Peggy and I are no longer seeing each other.” Rita sat her glass on the coffee table and inched closer. “She had nothing on you. It was a silly infatuation. I certainly never loved her the way I loved you…still love you.”

“You loved her enough to cheat on me for weeks.” Anger swept through Alex’s bones. Months of frustration trembled in her voice. “You were the one for me, Rita. The only one. I’ve never loved anyone…” Tears took over from words. They streamed down her face and landed with fat thuds in the wine Rita had poured her.

Rita took the glass from her hand and deposited it on the floor. She grabbed Alex’s hands and buried them in hers. Warmth spread across Alex’s skin and she looked up until her eyes found Rita’s.

“I know.” Rita’s voice broke as her hands crept up Alex’s arms. “I’ll do whatever it takes.”

Alex couldn’t speak. After her initial anger over Rita’s infidelity had made way for deep sadness, she’d dreamed of Rita saying those words. Now she was sitting in front of her uttering them, her eyes brimming with tears and her nails digging into Alex’s biceps, they felt so meaningless and empty.