No Ordinary Love(16)

Alex’s words halted for the briefest of moments as she acknowledged Maddie’s presence. She followed up with a small smile before addressing her attention back to the group.

Maddie had never seen circles so dark curving underneath Alex’s eyes. Her voice sounded gravelly and her movements appeared far less fluid than usual. Either these were signs of heartache, or she was suffering from a severe hangover. Maybe a combination of both.

All Maddie wanted to do was rush to the front, cradle Alex in her arms and tell her she’d give her all the time in the world. She’d wait. Then again, waiting until the end of class to talk to her already proved quite the challenge. At least she could shamelessly gawk at Alex, who, no matter how destroyed she looked, was always a sight for sore eyes.

She wore a white tank top as usual and, when pushing up from cobra into downward dog, her biceps still bulged obscenely. This is my woman, Maddie thought. For as long as she could remember, she’d never allowed herself to think something like that. She believed such thoughts to be quite ludicrous actually, but here she was. This was love and, for the first time in her life, Maddie was not running away.

“Give yourself a round of applause.” Alex sounded relieved when she spoke the traditional last words of every class. “It’s not always easy on Saturday morning.” She shot the group a weary smile before rubbing her temples. Maddie disposed of her mat outside the studio and positioned herself at the exit while nodding at a few regulars.

She swallowed the tightness out of her throat as Alex and Nat approached.

“I have to run,” Nat said, for once choosing to be diplomatic. She slapped Alex on the shoulder briefly and smiled at Maddie.

“Hey,” Alex started as soon as the crowd around them thinned.

“Hi.” Maddie felt like a teenager, standing around awkwardly and having no clue where to begin to say all the things she had to say. “You look like you could use a strong cup of coffee.”

“Only small sips of water for me today.” Alex puffed some air through her nostrils. “Nat and I had a bit of a bender last night and I have no idea how I made it through class.”

“And this was only the first one of the day.” Maddie inadvertently brought her hand to Alex’s shoulder, but stopped herself a split second before it touched skin.

“Tell me about it.” Alex’s eyes followed the path of Maddie’s now idle hand. “I must admit I was surprised to see you.”

“Can we talk?” Maddie dropped her hand.

“Yes.” Alex took a deep breath. “That would be good.”

Ten minutes later they sat across from each other in The Bean, both still in work-out clothes, Maddie sipping another espresso and Alex trying her luck with a lemon tea.

“I’ve never been so ready for the weekend to begin.” Alex stretched her arms above her head, accentuating her shoulder muscles.

“I’m sorry for overreacting.” Maddie cut straight to the chase because she had no idea how to go about it any other way. “I was hurt. Well, mainly my ego was hurt and I thought if I beat you to the punch…if I broke up with you, that would somehow make me feel better. It didn’t.”

Alex shook her head. “Your reaction was completely comprehensible. I should have handled the situation with more delicacy.” She grimaced and put a hand on her belly. “This tea is not working for me.”

“I want you to know I will wait for you. As long as it takes.” Maddie’s hands trembled as she lifted her cup from its saucer.

Alex shook her head again and fear rushed through Maddie’s blood. “Rita was a big part of my life for a long time. Seeing her again rendered me temporarily insane, I’m afraid. But it’s no excuse for my behaviour. We are…” Alex hesitated. “We were in a relationship and I had no right to treat you like that, nor to behave as if the world was about to come to an end just because I laid eyes on my ex.”

“I saw her last night. Outside the gym after body combat. I saw the two of you together. I didn’t mean to spy…I had come to see you, but she was there when—”

“I had no idea she’d be there.” Alex cut her off, wincing at the memory. “She’s getting out the big guns now, but the bigger her gestures, the less they mean to me.” Alex leaned forward. She paused before continuing. “I don’t want her, Maddie. I want you.”

Maddie bit her bottom lip and had trouble keeping her gaze on Alex.

“If you’ll still have me, of course.” Insecurity tugged at Alex’s voice. “After the way I behaved…”