Nat curled an arm around Alex’s shoulders. “Seeing Rita again was always going to be hard. Just don’t make any hasty decisions.”
“It was all too much too soon. Maddie is wonderful and I care for her a great deal, but what was I thinking? That I’d just jump into bed with someone who vaguely reminded me of Rita and everything would be all right? How utterly stupid.”
“Is there any part of you that would contemplate giving Rita another chance?”
“Every part of me not controlled by rational thinking.” Alex looked up and turned to face Nat. “Do you think that in our life we can come across one person who touches us so deeply everything changes? Someone we’d forgive the worst crimes. Someone we can’t help but fall for over and over again?”
“Oh, Pizza.” Nat drew her near and cradled Alex in her arms. “You need to sleep on this. Rita showed her true colours in the end and no one is as perfect as we want them to be.” Nat twirled her fingers through Alex’s hair. “I witnessed first-hand what Rita Lowe did to you. She does not deserve a second chance from someone as good-natured and awesome like you. She simply doesn’t.”
“I know.” Alex sniffled and rubbed her nose with the back of her hand. “I know she doesn’t deserve it.”
* * *
After a night of tossing and turning Alex got out of bed at the crack of dawn. When she walked into the kitchen to eat her morning grapefruit, she found Isabella drinking a glass of water.
“Morning.” Isabella was dressed in one of Nat’s black Blondie t-shirts and a faded pair of Nat’s boxer shorts. Without make-up and her hair in a tousled mess, she looked like a different person.
“Sorry for keeping Nat up last night.” It dawned on Alex how irritating it was that her best friend and flatmate’s girlfriend was her own girlfriend’s best friend.
“No worries.” Isabella deposited her empty glass in the sink. “I know it’s not easy that we’re all so up in each other’s business.” Was she reading Alex’s mind? “But I just want to say I’ve known Maddie for a few years and she’s a changed woman. Since she met you something opened up inside of her. She’s crazy about you and maybe she’s not good at expressing it, but it’s written all over her face.”
Alex stared at the floor. She was hardly in the mood for an early morning lecture on her relationship, but she didn’t want to offend Nat’s girlfriend.
“Point taken.” Alex waited for Isabella to leave the kitchen before starting her morning ritual of carving out grapefruit chunks, but Isabella stayed put, resting her brown eyes on Alex.
This must be how she gets people to say things they don’t want to talk about. A loaded silence and a stare that seems to see through you, as if she already knows what you’re going to say but is waiting for you to connect the dots in your head. How utterly condescending. Alex had always been more of a fan of working things out in the gym instead of talking them through.
“I presume I’ll see you in class this evening?” A night of fitful sleep hadn’t exactly cleared the fog in Alex’s brain, but she knew she needed to talk to Maddie sooner rather than later. She didn’t want to disrespect her even more by discussing Rita with anyone else but her.
“You will.” Isabella scooted past her, pausing to lay a hand on Alex’s forearm briefly. “If you need to talk, you know where to find me.”
“In Nat’s bed, you mean?” Alex hoped to lighten the mood. It wasn’t her style to take her insecurities out on other people, and she knew Isabella meant well.
“She does seem to experience difficulties letting me out.” Isabella tapped her on the shoulder and exited the kitchen.
Alex realised a clean break with Maddie—if that’s what she ended up needing—was out of the question. She’d have to move out of The Ivy first.
MADDIE
Maddie had barely stepped out of the shower when the chime of the doorbell startled her. It was seven a.m.
It could only be Alex.
A towel draped around her body and her hair dripping wet, she padded to the door and swung it open. Both fear and relief washed over her at the sight of Alex. She looked strung-out, worry visible in the shallow lines of her face and sadness swimming in her dark eyes. But at least she was there.
Maddie wanted to pull her in and hold her close for long moments, but she thought better of it. Alex hadn’t used her key. And she hardly looked like the bearer of good news.
“Come in.” She had trouble looking Alex in the eye. A persistently optimistic part of her screamed for recognition from somewhere in the back of her mind, but Maddie had known—and caused—enough heartache to know love didn’t always win. She was also a firm believer in expecting the worst.