No Longer Safe(6)

She looked at me, then nipped her lips together and tipped her head to one side. ‘Oh, Alice – it’s been so long. I was useless at keeping in touch. I thought you’d have given up on me.’

‘No way,’ I whispered, barely able to speak.

‘We need to say a proper hello,’ she said, opening her arms. I let myself fall against her and she caught me, wrapping me up and holding on tight. It was awkward on the rug; we were in danger of toppling over, but I noticed her skin smelt the same and the lemon-honey scent of her hair was just as I’d remembered it.

‘I missed you,’ I whispered.

I wanted to tell her how desperately disappointed and upset I’d been when she’d failed to reply to my cards and emails, how hurt I’d felt when we’d drifted apart, but I didn’t want to moan.

She must have had her reasons.

I was certain it would all become clear during our stay. Besides, as the holiday unfolded, I wanted Karen to see how much I’d moved on and grown up. That’s where I wanted my focus to be, not on the way I’d felt so snubbed.

I cleared my throat. ‘What exactly is this place?’

‘It’s a crofter’s cottage.’ She got to her feet and pointed out of the window. ‘Glasgow is about ninety miles that way.’ She leant down and tossed another log onto the fire. ‘Sorry it’s not The Ritz.’ She pulled an impish face. ‘It was the only cottage the owner had left at short notice. She was about to give it a complete makeover.’

‘Ah…I’m sure it’ll be fine…it’s such a lovely idea.’

She picked Melanie up and adjusted the mask. ‘What shall we play with now Alice is here?’ Karen manoeuvred a box of toys towards me with her foot. ‘We’ve got everything in here,’ she said.

Melanie chose a wooden train, so the three of us took up positions on the floor and wheeled it back and forth. I had no experience with babies, only older kids, but Karen seemed completely in control and at ease. It didn’t surprise me. I don’t think I’d ever seen her flustered.

I looked from one to the other. ‘Can I take some pictures?’ I asked, thinking of the camera in my backpack.

Karen scrunched up her nose. ‘Not while she looks like this. Wait a few days and she won’t need the oxygen so much – then you can get some lovely shots.’

‘Of course.’

Melanie sat flapping her hands down onto the carpet. ‘Do you want to hold her?’ Karen carefully passed her over, hooking the tubes around my shoulder. The child bawled uncontrollably at the disruption, so I handed her straight back.

‘She’s tired,’ said Karen, kissing her cheek.

‘How long was she...? How long has she been ill?’

‘It’s been awful,’ she admitted. ‘Mel nearly died soon after she was born. She was at Great Ormond Street Hospital first, then they took her to the specialist unit in Glasgow after she developed problems with her breathing. She’s been in intensive care for months.’

‘I’m so sorry. You must have been desperately worried.’

‘It hasn’t been easy. I’m over the moon about bringing her home – well, here first for a bit, to make sure she’s okay – then finally home, to London.’

I went over to the tiny square window that looked out across the front garden. It was almost dark by now, but when I cupped my hands against the glass I could make out two bare apple trees near the centre and a cluster of bushes within a tumbling stone wall. It looked like the place had once been respectable, but it was now entirely overgrown.

‘The view from the track at the back is amazing,’ she said, blowing a raspberry into Melanie’s cheek and making her laugh. ‘There’s a loch nearby…oh…and a byre.’

‘A byre? What’s that?’

‘A sort of cowshed, by the look of it.’ She checked her watch. ‘Right – time for a bath, then bed for this little one.’

‘Can I help?’

‘Maybe next time. She’s not used to new people and don’t forget, I’m out of practice – I haven’t done this for a while.’ She laughed.

‘Of course – you’ve only just got her back.’

She put her arm round me. ‘I want you to be part of this, though. Why don’t you unpack? I’ll show you upstairs.’

The stairs were located inside the narrow chilly hallway and led to two bedrooms either side of a tiny bathroom, which had a freestanding bath on clawed feet, a loo and basin. There was no shower and an electrical water heater hung precariously on loose wires above the taps.