I babbled something about how much I’d missed you and what a treat it would be to catch up. It came out like a long, loud explosion, until I finally got to the point. ‘anyway…yes…I’d love to spend—’ I was interrupted by a shrill screech; the voicemail had run out of patience. Never mind, I’d try later.
As soon as I got to work, I marched straight past the lift and carried on along the corridor in search of an empty seminar room. Once inside the small room at the end, I put my bag on the desk and delved inside for the letter. I drew it out and pressed it to my cheek. You and I were good friends, Karen, weren’t we? Good friends could do this – have long breaks then pick up exactly where they’d left off.
With the vision of you fresh in my mind, I tried the number again. It rang three times and then your voice broke through. As soon as you spoke I felt the air warm up around me.
‘It’s Alice,’ I said. ‘Alice Flemming.’
‘I know who it is! I just got your message. It’s brilliant to hear from you.’ Your voice was just as I remembered it; sparkling and full of life. Your words seemed to flood into my bloodstream like a hit of alcohol.
‘I’m sorry it’s been so long,’ you said. ‘My fault entirely. Can you forgive me? I’ll tell you all about it. Still – you’re definitely coming to the cottage in two weeks’ time? You like the idea?’
‘Absolutely. Sounds amazing.’
‘Not too short notice?’
‘No – I’m owed leave.’ There was so much to say, to ask about. ‘You have a little girl – Melanie. How is she doing?’
‘Good. Really good. I can’t wait for you to meet her. We’ll have a wonderful time, Alice. I’m so pleased you can come.’
We made arrangements to meet at King’s Cross and then you said you were getting into your car and had to go.
The following week I had an email with an amendment to the plan. Karen was now driving up to Scotland on her own, a day earlier, to check in at the hospital and she suggested it would be better if I went up under my own steam.
I’d already envisaged us sitting together on the fast train from King’s Cross, spreading ourselves out across four seats, our table piled high with crisps, cups of hot chocolate and magazines we didn’t read, because we had so much to talk about. She would have told me how much she’d missed me since those days we lived in the condemned house in our third year at Leeds. I would have reminded her about the slugs that got into our bedrooms and slithered across the carpet because of the faulty damp course. Joked about the hole in the bathroom floor that gave a panoramic view of Randy-Andy’s bedroom below. I would have made her laugh and she would have put her arm around me.
But that wasn’t to be. I was going up on my own.
I sent a tentative text saying I didn’t mind tagging along to the hospital one bit, hoping she might change her mind, but the reply was short and to the point. It’s better this way, she wrote. See you Saturday. There was an innocent ‘PS’ at the end after her name. Hope it’s okay if you do some of the cooking, as I’ll have my hands full with Melanie. It was followed by three ‘X’s – big kisses, her trademark.
I sent a reply saying I’d be delighted to help out and meant it.
You and me, Karen – like it was meant to be.
Only later, with the glaring beam of hindsight, did I see how easy it was for me to be swept along. Everything on the surface seemed perfect. All I could think of was that our bond hadn’t died after all; it had just gone into hibernation for a while. Inside I was smiling and couldn’t stop. Just think – you chose me!
Chapter 2
Alice is on board. I’ve done it! That’s another major result under my belt.
I knew I was pushing my luck after all this time. As soon as she realised the letter was from me, I thought she might rip it to shreds, but no – she’s come good.
Surprising really – it was a pretty tall order to expect her to head all the way to Scotland for two weeks, even though I did offer to pay for the whole thing. I was expecting her to dismiss me for being such a crap friend, but she said yes, straight away. She didn’t even suggest we meet in London first – for a drink, say, to catch up and re-establish things between us. She didn’t need any persuading whatsoever! She jumped at the chance to go away together.
I should have trusted that her attachment to me went deeper than I’d dared hope. She always thought highly of me – even put me on a pedestal.
Only a few more loose ends to tie up and everything will be in place. I can’t believe I’m this close.