No Longer Safe(24)

‘You’ll come back, won’t you?’ I said, craning my neck as he moved away. ‘I feel like I haven’t thanked you properly at all.’

‘Sure.’ He sent me a glowing smile that made me feel like I’d been kissed – and left.



‘What happened to you?’ said Mark, creeping towards me shortly afterwards, as though afraid he might catch something. He was holding his mobile.

‘Hurt my ankle – that’s all. I’m fine.’

‘You need a stiff brandy. Have we got any?’

‘No, I don’t and no, we haven’t,’ I said playfully.

‘Are you able to get a signal on your phone?’ he asked, serious for once. His phone had been glued to his hand since he arrived.

‘You have to go down the track to get any reception. Even then, if the weather’s bad, it doesn’t work. I’ve tried to ring home, but I haven’t been able to reach them yet.’

‘Bloody nuisance,’ he said.

I heard the putter of Karen’s car and Mark helped me to my feet. She came in with Melanie asleep in her arms. ‘False alarm,’ she whispered.

‘Thank God,’ I whispered back, squeezing Karen’s arm.

Melanie gurgled and Karen took her straight upstairs. ‘Freezing out there…’

Karen settled Melanie in the cot and joined us by the fire. ‘She’s had another thorough check over and it turns out she’s got a slight throat infection, but it’s nothing serious.’ She sank back into the cushion that had erupted earlier. ‘I’m knackered – waiting around in hospital is such a trial.’

I moved over to sit beside her and she noticed my limp.

‘It’s nothing – just slipped in the snow,’ I said.

She looked at her hands, as if trying to figure out what to say next and, for a second, I had an edgy feeling that she was playing a character on stage and that none of this was real.

She rubbed my back and I made the thought go away.

Mark cracked open a can of lager and pushed a Pink CD into the player. He put his feet up on the rocking chair, his trainers dripping pools of slush from standing on the back step to smoke his latest cigarette. I reached over to turn the music down. ‘Melanie’s asleep,’ I said.

Karen barely seemed to register; she was resting her elbow on the arm of the sofa, watching the fire.

‘Yeah, yeah,’ he grunted. I hobbled over to the pile of newspaper by the hearth, beckoned to him to lift up his trainers and slipped a sheet underneath to soak up the mess. ‘You’ve turned into a proper bossy boots,’ he said sniggering, but nevertheless he leant forward to unlace them and left them on the tiles.

‘I’ll make some tea,’ I said, as Karen went upstairs again. As I brought in the pot, Mark looked like he’d fallen asleep. Echoey voices came through the monitor on the sideboard.

‘…I know – you were a long time at the hospital,’ said Jodie. She must have met Karen on the stairs. I heard a door closing, then Karen spoke.

‘I’m going to be such a paranoid mother.’

‘Of course you are. That’s only natural. But it’s a good thing. It’ll make you extra careful with her so you don’t put her at risk.’

‘Is her breathing regular do you think? I can’t tell anymore.’

Silence. ‘It sounds okay to me. Let’s just leave her be.’

I could hardly believe Jodie was uttering such wise words for a change. When Mark wasn’t with her she seemed to be a nicer person.





Chapter 12




It’s all moving so fast. Can hardly believe it. I’m still desperately nervous about it all. I have to keep going over what I need to do to see if I’ve left anything out and make sure I don’t make any mistakes.

Alice is her usual clumsy self – she took a tumble in the snow, but she seems fine. I’m relying on her loyalty to hold everything together. She was never one to break rank and I’m hoping she’s still under my spell – enough to stick by me if there’s any trouble. I need her to vouch for me when the time comes.

Dear Alice has always had illusions about our relationship. Felt sorry for her back then – did what I could to help her out, but never thought of her as a friend. It was more like looking after an injured animal; you have to take it in, you can’t leave it by the roadside. Of course, I’d never tell her that – it would break her heart.

When I think back to those early days and how gooey and grateful Alice was, I feel a bit crap actually. But my ‘affection’ for her wasn’t entirely phoney. My sisterly instinct kept kicking in; she was so lost and helpless, but my main motive was to make sure she did what we wanted.