No Country for Old Men(63)

So why do you say it?





I aint never said it before.





Any of you.





There's just me, she said. There aint nobody else.





Yes. Of course.





She looked at the gun. She turned away. She sat with her head down, her shoulders shaking. Oh Mama, she said.





None of this was your fault.





She shook her head, sobbing.





You didnt do anything. It was bad luck.





She nodded.





He watched her, his chin in his hand. All right, he said. This is the best I can do.





He straightened out his leg and reached into his pocket and drew out a few coins and took one and held it up. He turned it. For her to see the justice of it. He held it between his thumb and forefinger and weighed it and then flipped it spinning in the air and caught it and slapped it down on his wrist. Call it, he said.





She looked at him, at his outheld wrist. What? She said.





Call it.





I wont do it.





Yes you will. Call it.





God would not want me to do that.





Of course he would. You should try to save yourself. Call it. This is your last chance.





Heads, she said.





He lifted his hand away. The coin was tails.





I'm sorry.





She didnt answer.





Maybe it's for the best.





She looked away. You make it like it was the coin. But you're the one.





It could have gone either way.





The coin didnt have no say. It was just you.





Perhaps. But look at it my way. I got here the same way the coin did.





She sat sobbing softly. She didnt answer.





For things at a common destination there is a common path. Not always easy to see. But there.





Everthing I ever thought has turned out different, she said. There aint the least part of my life I could of guessed. Not this, not none of it.





I know.





You wouldnt of let me off noway.





I had no say in the matter. Every moment in your life is a turning and every one a choosing. Somewhere you made a choice. All followed to this. The accounting is scrupulous. The shape is drawn. No line can be erased. I had no belief in your ability to move a coin to your bidding. How could you? A person's path through the world seldom changes and even more seldom will it change abruptly. And the shape of your path was visible from the beginning.





She sat sobbing. She shook her head.





Yet even though I could have told you how all of this would end I thought it not too much to ask that you have a final glimpse of hope in the world to lift your heart before the shroud drops, the darkness. Do you see?





Oh God, she said. Oh God.





I'm sorry.





She looked at him a final time. You dont have to, she said. You dont. You dont.





He shook his head. You're asking that I make myself vulnerable and that I can never do. I have only one way to live. It doesnt allow for special cases. A coin toss perhaps. In this case to small purpose. Most people dont believe that there can be such a person. You can see what a problem that must be for them. How to prevail over that which you refuse to acknowledge the existence of. Do you understand? When I came into your life your life was over. It had a beginning, a middle, and an end. This is the end. You can say that things could have turned out differently. That they could have been some other way. But what does that mean? They are not some other way. They are this way. You're asking that I second say the world. Do you see?





Yes, she said, sobbing. I do. I truly do.





Good, he said. That's good. Then he shot her.





The car that hit Chigurh in the intersection three blocks from the house was a ten year old Buick that had run a stop-sign. There were no skidmarks at the site and the vehicle had made no attempt to brake. Chigurh never wore a seatbelt driving in the city because of just such hazards and although he saw the vehicle coming and threw himself to the other side of the truck the impact carried the caved-in driver side door to him instantly and broke his arm in two places and broke some ribs and cut his head and his leg. He crawled out of the passenger side door and staggered to the sidewalk and sat in the grass of someone's lawn and looked at his arm. Bone sticking up under the skin. Not good. A woman in a housedress ran out screaming.





Blood kept running into his eyes and he tried to think. He held the arm and turned it and tried to see how badly it was bleeding. If the median artery were severed. He thought not. His head was ringing. No pain. Not yet.





Two teenage boys were standing there looking at him.





Are you all right, mister?





Yeah, he said. I'm all right. Let me just sit here a minute.





There's an ambulance comin. Man over yonder went to call one.





All right.





You sure you're all right.