Nikhil(85)

"Yes. He's willing to commit himself to me, verbally. It's not something Kaliszians do. They rely on this bead instead." She touched her True Mate bead again.

"You don't like that. Why?" Jen asked, frowning at her.

"Because it takes away your responsibility, your commitment, and trust for the other person. Would you have married Todd, trusted him, based solely on a bead transferring to him?"

"No," Jen told her quietly, "I wouldn't have, but it seems you have."

"No, I didn't. I argued with Nikhil about it. I even threatened to cut it off."

"You did?"

"Yeah, I didn't care if I was wearing the first True Mate bead to transfer in five hundred years or not. I was going to decide who I loved, who my Soul Mate was and if the Goddess didn't like it that was just too bad."

"And you chose Nikhil."

"Yes."

"And Nikhil chose you."

"Yes."

"You know I can't stand beside you, Mac. The Kaliszians don't even know I'm here."

"You could if you let me tell them about you," Mac raised her hand to stop the argument she knew was coming. "There's no danger to you here, Jen. No one’s going to force you to do anything you don't want to do, but you need the deep-repair unit. You know you do. You've seen for yourself how much better the guys are doing after being treated. You're fading away right before our eyes, and I can't stand it. Not when there's something I can do about it."

"There's no reason for me to..."

"That's bullshit and you know it! You still matter, Jen!"

"For what?!! To be a charity case?!! I won't be that, Mac!"

"Who's asking you to be?!! Damn it, Jen, you kept us alive in that mine! How, I'll never know, but you made it so the food they gave us was enough. We survived!"

"Not all of us," Jen said quietly, and the pain in her voice had tears rolling down Mac's face.

"And that wasn't your fault, Jen."

"Wasn't it? I was the one that refused to leave that damn ring in the tent."

"So? There was no way you could have known what was going to happen."

"Those damn rings shouldn't have mattered so much."

"Of course, they should have. The man you loved gave them to you.

"Fuck that! He should have mattered more."

"And he did. You fought for him, Jen. Only you."

"Yeah, and I lost..." The fight went out of Jen's voice. "You should have let me die, Mac."

"No. You were meant to survive, Jen. So you could save the rest of us."

"And now?"

"And now you have to survive so you can make it right with your sister."

"Kimmy," Jen whispered.

"Yes, Kimmy. Remember her? You need to survive so you can get back to her."

"Even if we can get back, she hates me. She has every right to."

"She doesn't. You're her sister, the only family she has left. She's going to want you back."

"You think so?"

"I know and..." Mac trailed off as she looked behind Jen.

"What?" Jen swung around fearing the worst, only to have a smile break out across her face as Paul walked out of the cleansing unit, his hair trimmed and his face clean-shaven. "Paul..."

Mac couldn't believe how good Paul looked. If it weren’t for the weight loss, she'd say he looked as good as he did the day she first met him. "Damn, Paul, if we weren't both married I'd be all over you."

"Yes, well he's all mine, Mackenzie Wharton, so you keep your hands off him," Eric said walking up to his husband. "I always said you cleaned up good."

"Yes, well you're next," Paul said wiggling his knife at Eric. "I've been waiting years to have you at my mercy. So come on, it's time to make you amazingly handsome again."

"Like I haven't always been," Eric argued, but he willingly followed Paul into the cleansing room.

"God, those two never get old," Mac said laughing.

"You should have seen them at Todd's and my wedding."

"A good time?" Mac asked.

"The best," Jen confirmed. "They did this dance that stole the show."

"And that didn't bother you?"

"Me? No. Todd, maybe, but then Todd always liked to be the center of attention. As long as it made him look good."

"Jen..."

"Mac, we've been together too long, you know all my secrets. Todd wasn't perfect, but he didn't deserve to die that way. He was my husband, and I will honor him."

"I know, Jen, but you need to honor him by surviving, and you can't do that if you don't let Luol treat you."

"I'll think about it." She squeezed Mac's hand. "Seriously, I will."