Mac felt her eyes fill at Nikhil's heartfelt words. She could hear his truth in them and it made her want to reach out and comfort him, but she needed that truth to permeate more than just their relationship. She needed it to filter through their entire life. There was so much she still didn't know or understand and if she couldn't rely on Nikhil to tell her, who could she?
"I need to get back to Eric," she told him, turning to re-enter Luol's office.
"Eric?" Nikhil questioned.
"He is the human male currently using the educator," Luol informed him quietly. "Mackenzie insists on sitting with them, so they are not alone as I see to the treatment of those in the deep-repair unit."
"You leave her alone with other males?" Nikhil growled.
"I leave her alone with males that she knows and trusts. She has already spent a great deal of time alone with them, Nikhil. She is loyal to them. They are her friends, and they have bonded because of what they have survived together. That is something you are going to have to deal with and accept if you want your mate to be truly happy.
"They let her be taken, Luol, let her be harmed."
"And she seems to hold no animosity toward them for it. Perhaps you need to find out why." Luol walked away to check on the two in the repair unit.
∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞
Nikhil stood in the doorway of Luol's office, ignoring the way his massive shoulders pressed against the frame, and watched his mate sit beside another male holding his hand. His first instinct was to storm across the room and pull her away from the male. She was his. His mate. She should never touch another male. But he knew that would be wrong. That it would drive his mate even farther from him. He tensed as she lifted a hand to gently tuck a strand of the male's hair behind his ear. But as he watched, he realized she wasn't touching the other male the same way she touched him. Yes, there was feeling in the touch, but it wasn't a caress.
Moving across the room, he pulled over a chair and sat down heavily on the other side of the couch. "You care about this male," he said quietly.
"Eric."
"What?"
"His name is Eric, and yes, I do." She lifted her gaze to his. "Very much. Just like I care for all the others."
"Explain to me why."
"What do you mean why?"
"They let the Zaludians take you, Mackenzie." While he spoke quietly, there was no doubting the rage behind his words. "You were harmed because they didn't protect you. How can you still care about them?"
"Is that all you see? How you found me?" She shook her head and looked back to Eric. "You just don't understand."
"Then make me understand." He leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. "I need to understand, Mackenzie."
"They protected me, Nikhil, when they didn't have to."
"Didn't..."
"They didn't know me. I wasn't one of their group. I was just their guide. The one they trusted to lead them up the mountain and bring them back safely. I failed."
"They can't blame you for what the Ganglians did, Mackenzie."
"They could have, but they didn't. Instead they protected me. When we first got to that mine, the Zaludians took half of us to the cave where we lived and the other half they put to work in the mine. I was put to work. I collapsed when we got back to the cave, and they took the other group. I didn't know what I was going to do. We saw how the Zaludians beat a Jerboaian to death when he collapsed, and then they beat the one that tried to protect him."
"We heard they would do that," Nikhil said quietly.
"You heard right, and as much as I didn't want to die that way, I knew it was going to happen because there was no way I could do that type of physical work... so did the guys. When the Zaludians returned with the other group, they brought food and told us we had fifteen minutes. I didn't eat because I knew I'd be dead soon and it would just be a waste of food the others needed." Her eyes began to fill with tears, and she ran the back of her hand over Eric's gaunt cheek before she continued. "The Zaludians returned and as I rose to go with my group, Eric pushed me down and went in my place."
"He..."
"He was in the group that had just returned from the mine. His only thought should have been to rest until they came for him again. Instead, he took my place."
"He worked back to back shifts?"
"Yes, and when he returned, one of the other guys took his place. They never let me return to that mine, Nikhil. Do you understand now? They all did what they could to protect me."
"And the Zaludians never noticed?"
"As long as they had six bodies they didn't care."