Nikhil(59)

He'd loved the way her small, pert breasts had felt in his hands and mouth, but seeing them this way he knew they used to be larger, much larger, because of the way her skin sagged. He'd seen it before, in the war-torn areas the Ratak had invaded where food supplies had been cut off. Not around a female's breasts, but in other areas.

"Nikhil, what's wrong?" She reached out to cup his cheek tipping his face up, her eyes searching his. What she found had her breath stalling, her eyes filling, and her ripping her hand away. He was disappointed. Covering her exposed chest with an arm, she tried to move away, but his gentle yet firm grip on her shoulders stopped her.

"Where do you think you are going?" he asked roughly.

"I... I need to get my covering, need to...”

"No. You need to tell me what is wrong? What we did before... has it harmed you?" Nikhil felt his gut clench at the thought.

"No."

"Then what?" When she just shook her head, his breath caught as his bead in her hair bumped against his arm, her utter devastation filling him. "Why do you feel this way? What have I done to you?"

"What? What are you talking about?" Mac stilled, her eyes searching his. "You haven't done anything to me, haven't harmed me."

"Then why are you feeling this way?" he demanded.

"Feeling...” She looked from the bead in her hair to him. "You... you can really...”

"Yes. It is part of the gift of having a True Mate. One will know what the other feels and needs. You become one and are never alone again."

"I...”

"Truth, Mackenzie. I need you to tell me truth. I have somehow upset you, made you feel as if you needed to hide your beauty from me." He reached up, and after a brief and fruitless struggle from her, pulled her arm back down. "Tell me."

"You are... disappointed when you look at me," she found herself admitting.

"I am not!" Nikhil all but roared.

"I saw it in your eyes, Nikhil," she argued back, but her voice was as quiet as his was loud. "You didn't like looking at my body."

"I didn't," he admitted because he would never give her an untruth, "but only because I know it is not your body's natural form. It hurt me to know you suffered so greatly, and I did not prevent it."

"You couldn't have prevented it. You didn't even know me when it was occurring."

"That does not matter. You are my True Mate. I should have known!"

"Nikhil...” She felt her eyes begin to fill again at the pain in his eyes.

"And now I put my needs, my desires before yours. You need rest and food and care."

"All I need is you, Nikhil. Don't you know that?" She dropped her head to catch the gaze he had lowered. "You give me life, make me strong. With you...”

"With me?"

"With you, I am who I was always meant to be. Because of you, I am now whole. Don't abandon me now," she begged.

"I never would. You are mine, Mackenzie," he said framing her thin, heart-shaped face with his large, calloused hands, his eyes glowing the soft pine green of the trees she so loved on Earth. "Mine. My Mackenzie. My True Mate. Mine."

"Then why are you pulling away from me? Why don't you want to love me... to join with me?"

"I do! Goddess, Mackenzie, I want you so much that I hurt for you, but I would never want to harm you. You need more time."

"No. What I need, is you, Nikhil. I need to connect with you in the most basic of ways. To give myself to you, and for you to do the same with me. Am I asking too much?"

"No. You could never ask too much of me."

"Don't be so sure of that," she said, giving him a small smile. "You don't know what I might ask."

"You can ask for all my credits. You can ask for my honor. You can even ask for my life's breath. And I would willingly give it, if it is what you need, my Mackenzie, for without you in my life, none of it matters."

"Nikhil... don't you know I feel the same way about you? If I had a True Mate bead you would wear it. I wish I could give that to you."

"You have already given me so much more, my Mackenzie."

"What? What could I have possibly given you?"

"You gave me your innocence. Did you not realize that?"

"You... it's gone?"

"Yes, I did not want you to feel any pain when we fully joined. I still don't, which is why we must wait."

"No, Nikhil, it is why we don't have to."

"I can't stand the thought of hurting you, Little One."

"Then let me do it."

"What? What do you mean?"

"Do you trust me, Nikhil?"

"With my life."