Nikhil(51)

"It was here when we arrived. This base was here when Pontus was a live and viable planet. One full of edible plant life."

"So Kaliszians used to eat more than these premade packets?" she asked, taking the packet he handed her.

"When we are on missions, we consume three packets a day. But when we are stationed somewhere, we receive extra rations to prepare one fresh meal a day."

"And you prepare it here?"

"No. We combine our rations, and the task of preparing the meal is assigned to a warrior. We've only been receiving fresh meals here on Pontus for the last four weeks when we began discovering survivors and this base was reestablished."

"I see."

"I will take you to last meal once it’s prepared after you have rested. Now eat."

"Aren't you going to eat too?"

"I will later."

"But...” she looked down at the pouch in her hand. "Oh my God, I'm eating your rations."

"Mackenzie...”

"Here!" She shoved it at him. "Take it!"

"No, stop!" he ordered, as she continued to try and press it into his fisted hands. "Mackenzie, I'm fine."

"No. You didn't eat breakfast either. You're giving me your food rations."

"Mackenzie!" Nikhil rose and pulled open a cabinet revealing it was full of packets. "Elite Warriors are always given three food packets a day, no matter where they are, even when stationed at a permanent base. It is one of the benefits of achieving Elite status."

"One of them?" she questioned.

"The other is that we receive extra credits to use any way we see fit."

"So why aren't you eating then?"

"Because I am more concerned about you than me right now. I will eat when I become hungry, my vow."

Mac bit her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. She was tired of her emotions being so out of control, especially around Nikhil. Maybe if she rested, like Luol suggested, she wouldn't feel so out of control.

"I think I'd like to rest now," she told him.

"Finish eating first," he argued.

"No. I'm not hungry. I'm not used to eating this much anymore, Nikhil." She held up her hand to stop him from arguing with her. "What you gave me for first meal is more than I'm used to for two meals in the mines, maybe three. My system isn't used to it. All I want right now is a pillow and blanket."

Nikhil took the packet from her and set it aside. "Then come," he held out his hand, "I will help you to the bed."

"No. I can sleep here."

"What?" He gave her a confused look. "Why?"

"Because there's no reason for me to be in your bed."

"It is where you belong!" Nikhil bit out, then took a deep breath trying to force himself to calm.

"I'm not sure it is, Nikhil," she told him sadly. "Not now."

"Why would you say that?!!" he questioned then realized why. It was because of what he had said. Never in his life had he felt like he had failed so badly the one person he should never fail. Slowly he moved across the room to settle heavily on the couch next to her. "This is because of what I said this morning... I thought...”

"Thought what?"

"That you had forgiven me for my hasty words."

"They weren't hasty, Nikhil," she told him quietly. "They were your truth. What you truly believe. What your culture believes. My culture believes something different, and I don't know how we can ever get past that."

"You said you were proud to have me as your True Mate," he told her.

"And I am, but I don't believe that you are." She gave him a dejected look. "How can you be, when you believe me to be no better than a whore or a slut."

"I do not know what those words mean," he told her.

"A slut is a female that will have sex with any male that she feels like. A whore is a female that does the same, except the male exchanges something of value with her for it, gives her credits for it. That's what your Pleasure Workers do, don't they? And those you give your 'friendship' to. I've never done that and never will. But I have kissed men on the lips and for you, that is no different."

Nikhil just stared at her at a loss for words. Did she really believe that? That he thought so little of her? All his life he had been judged harshly, been misunderstood because of his size by his own people. It was something he'd vowed he would never do to another being but it seemed he had... and to his True Mate.

"We are different, Nikhil, and I'm not talking about size. I'm talking about culturally. For you, this," she lifted the bead in her hair, "is irrefutable. You have no doubts. It's not that way for me. It takes actions and words and feelings. It takes trust and belief on both sides. You are asking me to just believe in something I've never heard of or experienced before. Before the Ganglians took me, I might have been able to do that... and because of you... I did, then you rejected me."