Mac felt her mouth drop open. She hadn't meant for Nikhil to take her words so personally or for him to feel like he had failed her. Ever since she'd seen him in that mine, he'd been the only one she'd known she could completely trust. Why did she doubt that now? Because he was no longer essential to her survival? Wasn't that wrong? God, she was so messed up.
"Nikhil...” she slowly moved and sat down beside him. "You haven't failed me. How could you even think that? From the first moment I laid eyes on you, you have been my one constant, the only one I've totally trusted, the only one whose only concern was for me. Me." She started to reach out and touch him but pulled her hand back. "I know I'm not what you were looking for when you woke up yesterday. All you wanted to do was your duty, not get saddled with a mess like me."
"Saddled?"
"Burdened with...”
"Burdened?" Nikhil's eyes began to burn more than glow, and he gripped her upper arms lifting her off the couch, pulling her in front of him so they were eye to eye. "You think you are a burden to me?!! That I regret having you come into my life?"
She let out a little squeak when Nikhil pulled her onto his lap, her hands gripping the thick muscles of his arms, that were now vibrating with rage, for balance. She should have been terrified at being manhandled like this, especially after how the Zaludians had treated her, but she wasn't. This was Nikhil, and he'd never harm her.
"I think." She carefully licked her lips before continuing. "That I have complicated your life. I'm a mess, Nikhil. My emotions are all over the place. I'm happy I'm alive, and scared out of my mind at the same time. I want to be with my friends. They are the only ones that really understand what I've gone through, and yet...”
"And yet?"
"And yet I don't want to leave you," she whispered. "That’s not fair to you, not when you are only doing what you feel you must because of this." She reached up and touched his True Mate bead in her hair.
"Mackenzie...” The anger that had filled him quickly faded, He had failed her because he hadn't adequately explained the connection between True Mates. She was feeling it, and it was confusing her. Especially after all that had happened to her. He would not fail her again. Taking a deep breath, he spoke to her from his heart.
"You truly don't understand what a gift... a blessing from the Goddess herself, it is to have a True Mate. You complete me in a way I cannot adequately express. I am no longer alone, there is now more to my life than just duty and battle. There is you." His gaze traveled over her, and he still couldn't believe she was here. "I know this is all new and confusing to you. Your people seem to practice different traditions and don't have True Mates, but...”
"We have something similar," she whispered. "We call them Soul Mates."
"Soul Mates," Nikhil tried the words on his lips.
"Yes. They are said to be a person's other half. The one that makes them whole."
"As you have made me." Nikhil's knuckle gently caressed her cheek.
"Have I?" she asked looking up at him uncertainly.
Nikhil frowned at the doubt he saw in her eyes. "Yes! What is making you question it? I already feel you, here." He thumped a fist against his chest. "You are a part of me. The most precious part."
"Then why...” she bit her bottom lip and looked away.
"Then why what?" Nikhil cupped her chin, tipping it up then waited for her to look at him. "Mackenzie... tell me."
"Why do you not want me to touch you or kiss you? Is it something Kaliszians don't do?"
"No! I mean, yes! Yes, we do touch and kiss."
"But you don't want to with me."
"Of course, I do!"
"Then why did you stop me from touching you. Why didn't you like it when I kissed you?"
"I did!" he instantly denied. He couldn't believe it; this was what was causing all her doubt and confusion. Him, trying to restrain himself so he wouldn't overwhelm her? Well if that were the case, he would show her exactly how much he wanted her. Sinking his fingers into her lush dark hair, he pulled her lips to his.
Chapter Seven
Mac was shocked when Nikhil's fingers suddenly sank into her hair and pulled her forward, capturing her lips in a hard kiss. She hadn't expected it, but before she could respond, he pulled away.
"You think that I do not want you?" he growled, ripping his lips away from hers. "That I wouldn't welcome your touch, your lips, anywhere on me?"
Before she could answer, he captured her lips again and gave her a longer, harder kiss that had her heart pounding, and her hands gripping his braids.