Night Shifts Black(27)
Hello hello greetings from the inside
Hello hello framed in all your lies
Hello hello how you love to see me cry
Hello hello always so unkind
Mirror mirror, why the tears, you made me
Mirror mirror, who do you think you are
I made you!
Hello hello greetings from the inside
Hello hello framed in all your lies
Hello hello how you love to see me cry
Hello hello it's time to say goodbye"
"What else do you have?" Casey asks, paging through the notebook with interest.
"What? Nothing … "
"What else? I want to see the rest."
I grab the book from him and shake my head. "There is no more. I mean, not here, not finished."
"It doesn't have to be finished. Please, Callie?" he asks, and I sigh. "What's the last thing you wrote?"
I look away. "I don't really write much anymore."
"Why not?"
I shrug. "I don't know. I guess … Maybe there's no point? Like I said, I'm not really a writer. Well, not a real one."
Casey almost seems annoyed. "Will you stop with that? That's bull."
"It's not! I just … I don't know."
He softens. "Look, I don't want to pressure you, I just really want to see it."
"But it's not even finished!"
"So what? I know how the process works."
"Dude, she says she doesn't want to show you. Let it go," Luke chimes in, and the spell breaks.
I feel badly then. I don't know why except that somehow I've betrayed Casey. His faith in me. I'm being everything I hate about Luke.
"No, it's fine. Sorry. Here," I jump in. "But like I said, don't expect too much."
I hand him the book back, and he starts going through it again like I've just given him the secret to eternal life.
"I think he likes it," Luke teases, and I give him a look.
"Hell yeah, I like it."
He skims over a few more pages, then lands back on my mirror poem.
"Dude, where's your guitar?" Casey asks, and Luke's face falls. Casey only grunts. "Come on, man, not now."
Luke glares at him. "You know I don't play anymore."
"Yeah, and I also know you don't go anywhere without that piece of junk. Just get it for me and then you can sulk all you want."
Luke smirks. "It needs new strings. I haven't touched it in forever."
"You think I care about that right now? I'm not gonna play a show in the lobby, I just want to try something. Come on! Don't be a dick for once. Please!"
It's Luke's turn to grunt as he rises from his seat and saunters off down the hall. I glance at Casey but see he's pretty much forgotten about me at this point. I can see his mind working furiously on something, scanning the page over and over again. I decide not to interrupt, I'm not sure what to say anyway, and am relieved when Luke finally appears, an acoustic guitar in hand. Casey looks about to explode if he doesn't get whatever this is, out.
The instrument is a beaten mess, which surprises me. I'd expected a star of his caliber to require newer, flashier equipment, but apparently the instrument that "goes with him everywhere" has gone with him for many, many years to many, many places.
Casey barely even acknowledges him as he rips the guitar from his hands and starts tuning. Luke doesn't seem upset, however, and appears amused more than anything. I wonder if they're simply accustomed to this kind of rabid exploration of an idea from each other.
"Well, you kids have fun. I'm gonna go back to my room and lie down. Way too much excitement for one day."
I doubt Casey even hears him.
I watch Luke until he disappears, then turn back to Casey who finally seems satisfied with his tuning. He closes his eyes and nods his head as if counting to himself, and I'm fascinated at the glimpse of his own genius at work.
His fingers wrap around the neck of the guitar with a familiar comfort that makes it obvious he spends a lot of time in this position. He starts strumming, his eyes still scanning my notebook, pausing, strumming again, picking out some individual notes, pausing and returning. I gaze in silence, completely captivated.
Finally, he seems satisfied with something that makes sense in his head, but I have yet to hear beyond it.
I don't even get an intro or explanation before he starts playing an actual song, my words connecting in a rhythm and flow I'd never thought of, but find incredibly beautiful. They come to life, transforming from thoughts into action.
Casey has a good voice. Not as unique as Luke's, but good enough that any lesser band would probably be happy to have him as their own frontman. I doubt he'd agree with me, but I'm surprised by his confidence. I guess I shouldn't be. I'm witnessing a superstar doing what made him a superstar.
He stops and takes in a deep breath before meeting my gaze with an uncertain expression, the confidence suddenly gone. I'm startled by it, the open vulnerability of someone who should be invincible.
"That was amazing. I never thought my words could sound like that," I breathe, stuck in all kinds of awe at the moment. Of Casey. Of me. Of what we just created together.
I thought I'd gotten used to Casey's grins. He shares them often enough, but this is a new one. He seems almost transcended as he nods and opens his own notebook. He scribbles for several minutes. Stopping, thinking, scribbling again. Every so often he'll play through some chords, humming to himself, muttering something, then return to the notebook.
I wonder again if he even remembers I'm here. He hasn't acknowledged me in a long time, when suddenly, he stops and gives me a direct stare, almost startled.
"You need to go back to your place, wherever that is, and get your laptop."
This time I know what he's thinking. I'm not even going to bother with the familiar line of insecure questioning.
"Are you sure?" I ask, still concerned this can't possibly be happening.
He nods. "Positive. Get it now." I continue to hesitate. "Go!"
And I rise with a grin of my own.
∞∞∞
By the time I return to the suite, Casey and Luke are seated at the table, containers of food half-empty, and a clean plate at the open spot. They look up when I approach, and Luke waves me over.
"Thai," he explains.
"With your hangover?" I ask in disbelief.
He just shrugs with a grin. "Burns away the alcohol?"
"What, so she has a key now?" Casey asks, interrupting our greeting.
"She's here all the time anyway. I gave her the guest room."
Casey studies us for a moment, and I swear I can see his expression fall. I don't know what it means, but my pulse starts to pound as it occurs to me he might be jealous. Could that even be possible? No, of course not. He just thinks it means something different than it does and is mad that I broke my promise not to fall in love with Luke. I can't exactly explain that to him at the moment, however, so I just drop my bag and take my seat.
"It's more convenient, that's all," I offer quickly.
I can feel his gaze, but I'm not ready to meet it and start filling my plate with food.
"Did you bring your laptop?" he asks, changing the subject, but his voice is different now. Some of the magic is gone, and I finally dare a glance in his direction. His eyes … I look away again.
"Got it."
"Ok, good."
"Heard you working on something," Luke comments. "Sounded pretty good."
Casey nods, but doesn't seem as pleased as I would have thought. "Yeah. Got a call from TJ today … " His voice trails off, and they exchange a knowing look.
"I'm surprised they weren't on your case sooner," Luke says.
"They've been bugging me, but this was the first 'do or die' call."
"What do they want?"
Casey studies him for a moment, and I wonder if he's surprised Luke's still engaged in the discussion at this point. I know I am.
"New tour in four months with at least three new tracks."
Luke smirks. "Got tired of waiting, I guess."
"I'd love your help, man."
Luke doesn't respond and only stares at his plate. "Yeah, well, that's not my thing anymore." And there it is. The leg positioned clear of the table, the knee at attention. He's about to run.
"I know, but maybe if … "
"Alright, well, I know I'm full. What about you guys?" Luke cuts in, disappearing from his half-eaten plate before either of us can respond.
Familiar ending to any meal with Luke Craven.
Casey curses and shoves his own chair back in frustration. He doesn't move, however, and just sits in silence, lost in thought.
"You ok?" I ask, and he turns on me with a fire I haven't seen from him before.
"You're living with him? Why didn't you tell me you two hooked up? Don't you think you should have led with that?"
My eyes widen in shock. "What? Whoa, wait a second. We didn't hook up."
"No? But you moved in?"
"It's not like that! I mean, I know what it sounds like, but it's not!"
I lean forward, suddenly terrified at the thought of losing him, maybe even more than I ever was of losing Luke. I'm startled by the thought. Disturbed.
"I didn't move in, I just keep some stuff here in case it gets late. Come on, you know he's not ready for a real relationship. I know you know that better than anyone!"