“I don’t know yet. She’s lost a lot of blood. We were able to get the placenta out, but she won’t stop bleeding. So we are taking her to the OR for a transfusion and to see if there is a tear in the uterus or vagina that’s causing the bleeding. It could be a number of things, but I won’t know which until I’m there.”
All he heard was she’d lost a lot of blood.
“Will she be okay?”
“Jayden, I’m sorry, but I can’t answer that. Let me go work on her.”
She went to go around him, but he stopped her. “Please, I need her. She’s my life.”
Dr. Flynn’s eyes widened, and she nodded. “I know. I’m doing everything I can.”
“Can I come?”
“No, I’m sorry. You need to wait here.”
Moving past him, she ran down the hall, leaving Jayden with no promises at all. Swallowing hard, he covered his face as he walked backward into the wall, the hard surface giving him the support he needed. The fear of losing his wife took over his body. He couldn’t fathom what had just happened. Why was this happening? He loved her; she loved him. They were good people, donated to charity, went to church, and above all, they loved Jesus. They were so excited, and they had been through so much. Why? Why was this happening?
Squeezing his eyes shut, he whispered, “Please, Lord, take me instead. Take me. Don’t take her. I need her. We need her. My son and I. Please.”
He waited, needing some kind of sign, but none came.
“Jay, bro, you okay?”
Lifting his head, he saw Jude and Jace racing toward him, Markus on their heels. “Mom texted from the nursery. Told us what was going on. Are you okay?”
He couldn’t even answer them. He just fell into Jude, and thankfully, his brother caught him, wrapping his arms around him. He held him tight as Jayden let go, his sobs filling the hall.
“They don’t know what’s wrong. She won’t stop bleeding,” he cried, and then he felt Jace’s and Markus’s hands on his back.
“It’s fine, she’ll be fine. Baylor is the strongest girl I know. It’s okay, just breathe, bro. It’s fine,” Jude said, his own voice frantic as he held Jayden.
“Where is she?” Markus asked, and Jayden shook his head, backing away from Jude as he sucked in a breath, looking down at the floor.
“In the OR.”
No one said anything. They stood there awkwardly, waiting for something or someone to tell them what to do. He could feel everyone’s anxiety, his own most of all. Usually, he was the strong one. The pillar of the family. But right now, he was doing everything he could to stay upright and not fall to his knees to beg the Lord to protect his wife, to keep her here.
Finally, a nurse came up to him, her face full of worry. “Mr. Sinclair, there is a waiting room by the OR you can wait in.”
“Is she okay? My wife, Baylor Sinclair?”
“I don’t know, sir. Please follow me,” she said, looking away, and it felt off. Why couldn’t they just say if Baylor was okay? If she was going to be okay?
He couldn’t think that way. She was okay. She would be fine.
Together, the guys walked to the surgery waiting room, and while Jace and Markus sat with the rest of the family who had relocated from the maternity ward waiting room, Jayden stood by the door with Jude right beside him. He had a perfect view of the door to the OR from where he stood, and he wasn’t moving until he knew if his wife was okay. Looking back to Jude, he swallowed hard. Jude wasn’t the serious type, but he looked as stricken as Jayden felt.
Fighting back the tears, Jayden leaned his head against the door and said, “My boy is gorgeous.”
Jude nodded, his hand coming to his brother’s shoulder. “I heard.”
“I didn’t go with him. Does that make me a bad father?”
“No, it makes you a great one ’cause you’re protecting his momma.”
Jayden slowly nodded, the tears flooding his eyes. When River came running into the waiting room, his eyes wild with worry, Jayden couldn’t look at him, feeling completely worthless in front of the man whose daughter he had promised to protect.
Breathless, River said, “My boy, it’s okay. We’re okay. She’s okay.”
“I couldn’t protect her. I failed you,” Jayden whispered, and that made River come undone, taking Jayden in a back-slapping hug.
“She’s fine. Don’t worry. Hey,” River said, backing up and shaking Jayden until he looked back at him. “She is fine, and you haven’t, nor will you ever, fail me. It’s okay. She’s gonna be fine. We have to believe that,” he says as sternly as he could through his sobs.
“He’s right. Baylor’s got this,” Markus said on a sigh, and Jayden nodded.
“What happened? Autumn really didn’t know.”
Jayden shrugged as he explained, feeling completely useless. “They told us to wait here.”
“No word, then?”
“None.”
“Okay, so we wait.”
But none of them was ready to wait as long as they had to. None of them left Jayden, though. River and Jude stood beside him by the door, while Jace, Avery, Ashlyn, Claire, Lucy, Benji, Angie, and Markus sat in the chairs against the wall, all of them silent as they waited for anything—anyone to tell them what was going on.
“Should I go check on the baby? Do you think he is okay?” Jayden asked then, worried for his boy but still terrified for his wife.
“Autumn said he is fine, healthy, a big old nine pounds, seven ounces. Hockey player, that one is,” River said, but even though he was trying to act strong, his voice was miserable. “Cute little thing. Obviously takes after Baylor.”
Jayden smiled. “Obviously. She’s the most gorgeous creature on this planet.”
“She is,” her father agreed as Jayden’s eyes fell shut, his heart breaking in his chest. His head was aching, and everything weighed on him a billion times heavier than ever. He couldn’t shake the thought she wasn’t going to make it. He wanted to be optimistic, but why hadn’t they said anything? Why hadn’t they reassured him?
He was losing it.
“But she didn’t even get to name him. What do I do? I can’t name him. I suck at naming things. I named my dog, Dog, because I couldn’t come up with anything else,” Jayden said, frantically looking at each person, his heart in his throat.
“Dude, she’ll name him. Don’t worry,” Jace said, holding his older brother’s gaze. “It’s going to be okay.”
“Okay,” he said, trying to catch his breath, but he still felt he was losing it all.
Sliding down the door, he sat on his haunches, covering his face as he breathed in and out hard, thinking, Please, Lord. Take me. Please. Just take me. She’s gotta raise this baby. I’ll suck without her. I need her. Please. A son needs his momma, he does. Please.
When Jude was back at his side, his hand on Jayden’s back, Jayden’s tears came faster. “I don’t know what I will do.”
“You don’t have to think about that, bro. She’s going to be fine,” Jude promised, his eyes full of the hope Jayden was lacking.
“And if not?” he whispered, his whole body breaking out in sweat.
“Then as a family, we’ll raise him. Don’t you worry. Everything will be fine.”
But a world without Baylor wasn’t a world at all.
At least, not for Jayden and his son.
Swallowing hard, he looked up right as the door opened and Dr. Flynn walked out, wearing a fresh pair of scrubs and wiping her forehead. He stood up quickly as the doctor walked to him, letting out a long breath.
“Doc,” Jayden croaked out, and she nodded. “Please give me something.”
“Jayden, she is stable. We were able to replace the blood, stop the bleeding, and she is going to be just fine.”
Crying out, he covered his eyes as River wrapped his arms around him, hugging Jayden tightly, his own sobs leaving his lips. Thank you, Lord.
Opening his eyes, Jayden swallowed back his sob as he nodded. “Thank you. So much.”
“Of course. I’m sorry I couldn’t give you more at first, but it just happened so quickly, and my only priority was to save her.”
“And she is okay?”
“Yes, she’ll heal fine. We’ll monitor her once she’s released for about the next month or so, but I feel good about it.”
“Thank you,” he said once more, breathing in hard as his tears ran down his face. “When can I see her?”
“She’s in recovery for another twenty minutes, and then they’ll take her to her room. She was asking for the baby and you when she finally came out of the anesthesia. So maybe you can go get him and meet her in there?”
Jayden smiled, nodding his head. “Good plan. Thank you again.”
Dr. Flynn nodded, and as everyone thanked her, Jayden left to go get his son.
He had a smile on his face and happiness in his heart.
His family was safe and healthy.
7
So this is love?
Baylor felt high as hell, but she was eager to see her baby.
Looking around the room, she still felt a little weak and awfully tired, but she hated the silence. She wanted Jayden. She wanted her baby. Closing her eyes, she took in a breath, thankful she had survived. It had happened so fast. One moment, she was there, the next, she’d passed out. The vessels that held her placenta had ruptured, and then she was hemorrhaging. Baylor had lost a lot of blood, which resulted in the transfusions and the emergency surgery of her uterus, where Dr. Flynn had found and fixed the problem. Baylor was sure Jayden had been freaking out, and that scared her most of all. She didn’t want him worrying about her. Though, she knew he was.