Moving around the kitchen an hour later, I still wasn’t settled. I kept looking out the window, waiting to see the four wheelers approaching. I’d made dinner that was now cold and uneaten in the microwave, stifling the urge to call him, to make sure he was all right, but I couldn’t keep from constantly glancing toward the window and the black night around the park and property which only doubled the knot of worry sinking in my stomach. Nothing on TV interested me and even a half an hour chat with my kids only managed to distract me for a little while before my nerves doubled and I thought maybe taking Kona’s advice about a bath might help.
Another hour passed and the water in the tub was still hot. I kept releasing some of the water, then filling it back up again, closing my eyes to remember exactly what those sensations were that Kona had worked in me this afternoon. Collected in that memory was imagined, horrible things I tried to clear from my mind—Kona shirtless wrestling a huge bear; Kona’s skin ripped and mangled, the shriek of his cry as the bear gutted him. I shuddered, pressing the balls of my hands into my eye sockets, hoping to clear those horrible images and I said a small prayer, begging for his safe return and that not an inch of his beautiful body would be hurt by that animal fiercely protecting her babies.
There was only a small cluster of bubbles covering my legs and they slid down my skin, across my thighs as I eased back, eyes closed trying like hell not to let those horrific images consume me. Kona was strong. He was a fierce fighter. He wasn’t some idiot that didn’t know better than to antagonize a wild animal. But I couldn’t help myself.
My God. The image was horrible, overwhelming, and made me feel like an incredible idiot. Kona gone. Kona lost. Kona not…I squeezed my eyes shut, scrubbing my face with my wet hands. All this time, hours and hours, days since we reconciled and I’d been fretting over my guilt. Guilt that came from what I’d almost let happen. Lies I’d almost believe. God, it could have been so much worse. It could have been a situation we’d never came back from. But it wasn’t, that didn’t have to be, unless I let it.
I could keep my guilt, let it widen that wedge between us, let it push us further and further apart or I could get the fuck over it and live for the future that was right there in front of me. I could let go of my guilt and my worry and my fear, and let us be us again.
As I laid there with the hot water soaking into my pores and the lavender salt crystals I’d poured into the water warming my joints, I was gripped with the sudden sensation of being watched. That feeling kept me still, alert, but I didn’t open my eyes, didn't move at all. A bear couldn’t get into the cabin and even if it could, it certainly wouldn’t move with any kind of stealth or quiet. No, it was a different kind of animal, a familiar one, one I welcomed.
I knew it was him. He’d do that often, just watch me in the bath, seeming to like whatever emotions worked in him as he watched me. I was naked and wet, two things Kona had always insisted suited me best and when I slowly opened my eyes and caught him standing there, his gaze working over my skin, I had no doubt how much he liked seeing me like this.
Kona looked unharmed, a little wind burned from buzzing about on that four wheeler. But he didn’t seem tired or worn by the exertions he’d made today. In fact, with the slow drag of his gaze over my body, I got the impression he was invigorated, eager. The idea of what eagerness did to him had me moving my legs together, making small waves in the bath water that did nothing to ease the ache that throbbed right in my center.
I’d thought of touching myself while Kona was gone, but didn’t want to be caught a second time for something that he clearly didn’t want me hiding. Besides, my worry had kept any real thoughts of arousal from my mind. Now my body had easily edged right back to arousal, especially when Kona’s face remained tight and that gaze slicked over my naked skin like a breath.
The room was quiet and the only noise came from the low hoot of the owls in the trees nearby and the rapid increase of my own heartbeat.
He watched every move I made, eyes dark, focused on me as I stretched my head back against the lip of the tub. It was a large porcelain bathtub with jets I hadn’t figured out how to turn on, shaped in a triangle at the center of the bathroom.
Kona didn’t speak as he walked into the bathroom and knelt beside me, arms stretched on the tile. I parted my lips, meaning to ask him if everything was okay, if they’d spotted the bear, if there was something more than what I thought I saw in the look he gave me as I’d watched him chopping wood. But then he shook his head, gaze steady, sure as he moved like a panther, features not quite blank but guarded enough that I wasn’t sure what he planned or what he wanted.
I couldn’t see the dark brown of his eyes for how wide his pupils were. One hand lowered into the water, disappearing, coming up to slide over the front of my shin, up to my knee. That steady expression remained unchanged, even as he teased my wet skin with his fingertips over to the top of my thighs as he inched closer.
“You can’t look at me like that, Wildcat.” His voice was so low, so deep that I didn’t dare move, barely breathed as he spoke. “You looked at me like you wanted to taste my skin.” He only waited a second, one eyebrow arching, a dare that told me he wondered if I’d deny it. I didn’t. “You should know by now, my skin, my body, baby, it’s all yours. Anytime. Anywhere.” Kona moved in closer, stretching his arm as he lowered his hand toward my inner thigh. “But I know your looks. I know when you look at me the way you are right now that you’re aching. You wanted to touch yourself, didn’t you, baby?” A slip of his fingers and Kona grazed his thumb against my pussy. “Didn’t you?” he asked but didn’t wait for my reply.
All thoughts of worry, of us being annoyed with each other before he left to find the bear slipped from my mind as he touched me. Kona’s fingers were firm, rough but so teasing, still gentle as he cupped me, thumb at my clit, fingertips in a slow slide up and down my center. And when I opened my mouth to answer him, Kona silenced me with those long, thick fingers easing inside me. I arched against him, my lips parted, breath wispy.
“You haven’t looked at me like that in a long time, Keira.” Closer now and Kona brushed his free hand against my cheek, resting it on the base of my neck. “Like you wanted to watch me move and just touch yourself. Touch yourself like…like this…” He separated my lips, slipping two fingers deeper inside me, so deep that he easily found my G-spot and began the work that was so easy for him. As always, Kona knew how to touch me, how to rub his bent knuckle over that ridge, teasing, caressing until I couldn’t stand the sensations he worked inside my body.
I stretched my hand, moving it from the side of the tub to my breast but Kona clicked his tongue, head shaking when I looked at him. “No baby, that’s for me to do.” And my protest, halfhearted and weak, died completely when Kona came to his knees to reach closer and take my nipple in his mouth. All thoughts of bears were forgotten and my world spiraled down until it only contained this tub, this water, my opening body, and my wonderful, demanding husband, my world.
4
Her body called to me. I knew what she wanted. Keira’s face was open, her emotions clear as I moved my fingers inside her, taking, teasing, just how she liked it.
Years I’ve loved this woman. My pilialo. My life. I’d know the meaning behind every flick of her eyes, every faint wrinkle that settled into her soft, smooth skin whenever she frowned. She wasn’t frowning now. Keira looked, in fact, like something from a dream—skin wet, dewy, nipple pebbled and hard against my tongue as I tasted her. Her long, thin fingers twisted in my hair, holding me to her breast as I sucked that sweet skin into my mouth.
“More, God. More, baby.” There was always a melody in her voice, especially when she was aroused, when she craved the sensation of touch so badly her pleas came out like a song. The feel of her and the sound of that moan was too much. Just then, as she moved closer and closer to her finish, free hand on the edge of the tub gripping, back arching as she pulled me harder against her breast, sensation took over, gave way to damn carelessness and I didn’t think of anything at all but tasting and touching and having her.
A small gasp left her mouth as I slipped into the tub, fully clothed and desperate for her, but I didn’t lose the rhythm of my fingers inside her and pulled her closer, leaning her against me as water splashed around us, slapped loud on the tile floor. I didn’t care about the mess, only that Keira shuddered, shook as she came, as I quickened the movement of my knuckle and that sweet swollen G-spot got larger the quicker my fingers moved.
She pulled back as she came, mouth open, head against the lip of the tub and I watched her, stunned at how beautiful she looked. I’d almost lost her. That wedge held between us for days seemed to be breaking apart and the thought escalated my desperation to have her, to take us back to what we had been, to what we could be again. Keira’s skin flushed bright, the paleness changing over her cheeks, down to blush against her neck, her breast as she continued coming.