“Um, he hates you.”
“He can join the crowd,” Gwydion replied flatly.
“He sees all this as your fault. You took him from his parents.”
“To protect him. To make him High King.”
“Oh, but he doesn’t want to be High King.”
Gwydion stopped slicing bread and stared at his uncle. “Doesn’t want to?” he repeated blankly.
“No. Certainly not.”
“Let me get this straight. Arthur is shy and slow to trust. He hates me and he doesn’t want to be High King. Fine. I can deal with all that, one way or another. But will he do as he’s told?”
“Depends on who’s doing the telling. Will he do as you tell him? Probably not. Will he do as I tell him? Perhaps. But that’s the thing. Don’t tell him. Explain, don’t demand. He’s highly intelligent. He won’t follow what you say just because you say it, but he might if you explain why and if he agrees you have good reason.”
“Oh, great. That makes everything just perfect.”
“Gwydion, all I’m saying is that you can’t treat him as a tool. I know that’s how you think of him. That’s how you think of everyone. But you can’t do that. Not with him. It will get you nowhere.”
“Uncle, I don’t want to get anywhere. If it were my decision, I never would have taken him away in the first place. If it were my decision, I would live a life where I could go to sleep and not fear my dreams. But it’s not, and it never has been and it never will be. I’ve got the burden, the duty, to do what I must, use who I can. And I tell you that I will use Arthur as a tool—with or without his cooperation.” Gwydion clutched the bread knife tightly, his eyes glittering.
“You’ll be making a mistake.”
“He doesn’t have to like it,” Gwydion said grimly. “He just has to do it.”
“I want you to remember someone,” Myrrdin said quietly. “Someone from long ago. Once there was a boy. He was shy and awkward. It was hard for him to trust others. He knew he would grow up to shoulder a burden he didn’t want. Do you remember that boy?”
Gwydion said nothing, merely looking down at his suddenly clenched hands.
“And all that boy really wanted was to love and trust someone. He just wanted someone to help him. Someone to be kind to him, to show him how to bear his burden. Someone to keep him from being so alone. Do you remember?”
“Yes,” Gwydion said slowly.
“Yes, of course you do. Remember that boy when you look at Arthur. Remember he bears a burden, as you did. And be kind to him.”
“Tell me about Rhiannon ur Hefeydd,” Gwydion said abruptly.
Myrrdin was startled. “Why do you want to know about her?”
“I had a dream.”
“Tell me,” Myrrdin said quietly.
So Gwydion told his uncle everything, ending with, “She holds the clue to the sword’s whereabouts. I tell you it turns my stomach to think of having to even speak with such an impossible woman.”
“Well,” Myrrdin said slowly, not quite masking his delight, “as I recall, Rhiannon had absolutely no use for men. Until she met King Rhoram, that is. If I know her, she now despises men more than ever.” Gleefully, Myrrdin looked over at Gwydion. “But I’m sure that you can change her mind. A nice man like you.”
“You’re enjoying this aren’t you?” Gwydion said sourly.
“Gwydion, she’s as impossible as you are.”
“She doesn’t have to like me. She can hate me, for all I care. But I need her.”
“Oh, I’m sure it will work out. You can talk about how terrible women are and she can tell you how men are pigs. You’ll keep each other amused.”
“Are you laughing at me, perhaps?”
“Oh, gods, yes. I love this.” Myrrdin seemed truly delighted. “Oh, I’d give anything to be a fly on the wall at that first meeting.”
“I’m thrilled to give you some amusement,” Gwydion said sourly. “Perhaps you could see your way clear to helping me find her. If it’s not too much to ask.”
“That’s going to be a problem,” Myrrdin mused. “No one’s done it yet. Still . . . I wouldn’t put it past Dudod to know her exact whereabouts.”
“Do you really think he knows?”
“I’m not sure. But it would be just like him to guess and never say a word.”
“I’ll get it out of him,” Gwydion said grimly.
“I doubt it,” Myrrdin replied. “I think you’ll just have to begin the hunt on your own. Maybe eventually Dudod will take pity on you.”