“Ah. And does Gwen know this?” Rhoram asked carefully.
Oh, Rhoram had always been so quick to understand her. How could she had forgotten that? “No.”
“You should have told her.”
“I couldn’t find the words to explain.” Within the Hall the song continued,
I have been the dullest of stars,
I have been a word among letters,
I have been a book in the making.
I have been the light of lanterns.
“Rhiannon,” Rhoram said softly. “Look at me.”
Hesitantly, she raised her eyes to his glittering, jewellike gaze.
“Rhiannon, I must tell you two things. The first is that I still love you. I was a fool to let you go.” Briefly, she closed her eyes at the words she had wanted to hear for so long. It was her daydream turned nightmare, for the words had come too late. She had already come to the crossroads and chosen her path.
He went on, “The second thing is that you mustn’t fear me, cariad. I demand nothing from you. So tell me, for I am your friend now and always. Explain why you do this thing.”
“Years ago,” she began, hesitantly, “I refused to do my duty. I threw away the chance to become Ardewin.”
“Because I begged you.”
“Because I wanted to. And then, when things went wrong I ran away. I stole Gwen out of vengeance.”
“You couldn’t bear to part with your daughter. You loved her.”
“I wronged her. I can’t change that. But I can try to make it right, by returning her to her real home. And I can repay my debt to Kymru. I refused my duty before. I won’t do it again. Or there will be nothing left of me.”
“Will you come back?”
“No.” It was, perhaps, the hardest thing she had ever said.
“I see.” He gave a bitter laugh. “I’ve dreamt of this moment for years. But like all dreams, it turns bitter when it comes true. You come back only to leave me again.”
“Rhoram—”
“No, no. You don’t understand. I’m not blaming you. I brought it on myself by letting you go so long ago.”
I have been a sword in the grasp of a hand,
I have been a shield in battle.
I have been a string in a harp.
Disguised for nine years,
In water, in foam.
“Rhoram, how could I stay? You have a wife,” she said sharply.
“So I do, so I do. If you want to call her that. Of course, she doesn’t love me and never did. But she loves being the Queen.”
“Rhoram, Rhoram. I beg you. Please don’t do this to me. I can’t stay.”
“I know.” He said nothing for a long time. He looked up at the sky and the full moon washed over his face. Finally, he turned to her. “Tell me then, what can I do to make it easier for you?”
Oh, truly she was the beloved of Rhoram ap Rhydderch. Who but one that loved her so would let her go her own way at the crossroads? “Take care of Gwen,” she whispered.
“I will.”
“I must say good-bye to her now.”
“Won’t you at least stay the night?”
“I can’t.” She swallowed hard. “If I do I will never leave.”
“I wish—never mind, you know what I wish,” he tried to smile but it died before it reached the corners of his mouth. Gently he framed her face with his hands. “Rhiannon ur Hefeydd, I claim a kiss from you before you go.”
The wasted years fell away as their lips touched. All the passion, all the longing, all the terrible, wonderful love returned in full force. His arms tightened around her as she sank deeply into his kiss. A low moan escaped him, and she pulled herself away, gasping. His hands instantly dropped from her, and he stepped back. “I’m sorry,” he offered hoarsely. “I didn’t think it would be like that.”
“Some things never change, do they?” she said breathlessly.
“No, they don’t. I’ll—I’ll go get Gwen.”
After he went back inside the hall she sat down on the steps. Her legs were shaking and her heart was choking her. How could she leave? But how could she not?
At last Rhoram returned, holding Gwen’s hand. “Oh, Mam,” she said, “did you hear me?”
Swiftly she pulled herself together and stood. “Yes, indeed,” she said, her voice as steady as she could make it. “You have a beautiful voice. You and Sanon sound well together.”
“Oh, she’s wonderful. I’m going to love it here. How long can we stay?”
“I’m—I’m glad you like it here, little one. Because—” She stopped. Oh, what a coward I am, she thought. What a fool.
“Your Mam and I have had a long talk, Gwen. And we’ve come to an agreement we think you will like. You’ve lived with your Mam for a long time. And now, it’s time to live with me,” Rhoram said gently.