New York Nights (Heart of the City #2)(33)

I bit my lip and pushed my head against the pillow as Ben's thrusts became more fevered, more urgent, the cords of his muscles tightening, a vein in his neck pulsing as he lost himself so totally in me. I wanted to run my tongue along his neck but before I could he let my legs fall and claimed my mouth with his. He kissed me tenderly, such a contrast to how he'd fucked me. His hand dived between my legs, his thumb running expert, maddening circles over the sensitive bud, eliciting guttural moans from me. My hands grabbed at his shoulder blades; I rocked my hips into his and bit his shoulder, clawing at his skin, which only seemed to encourage a new sense of need in him. The press of his forehead against mine was intimate but his attention was on my breasts, watching the way they moved every time he thrust into me.

I cupped his face. 'Look at me,' I pleaded, not knowing why it was important, but it was. I wanted him to see me. He wasn't present in so many aspects of his life, and if I needed it, then so did he. Maybe this would be the only time we would truly see each other, the only time we would sate our bodies and fulfil our urges. The only time we would give in to our need.

Ben pulled back and my heart twisted in fear that it was too much, I had pushed too far and now he was going to run, but he pulled me with him. He sat against my bedhead, gesturing for me to straddle him, just as I had done on the stairs. I lowered myself onto him, gripping his shoulders, gasping as I adjusted to him going deeper than before. Ben's eyes were on me, taking in the twisting of agony and ecstasy in my face.



       
         
       
        

'I want to watch you when you come,' he said, his voice strained, his words a promise, and to reward him I began to rock, slowly to start, watching his face contort  –  whether in pain or pleasure, it was tough to say. His grip on my hips was so strong I knew I would have bruises there in the morning, but it only made me me grind down harder, arching my back so he could kiss my breasts. He licked the peaks, then sucked them into his mouth, and when he looked at me I could feel the pleasure building, pooling at my nerve endings as I rode him faster. Moaning about how wet I was, how deep he was, how I wanted to be fucked by him. I could barely recognise the words coming from my mouth, it was like I was possessed by this wanton creature who couldn't get enough  –  and I couldn't. I felt myself building, and leant forward, my screams muffled in his neck, our skin slick with sweat, our voices hoarse from our groans. I was ready, so ready to let go.

'Ben,' I warned, unable to gather myself enough to do anything but kiss him through the climb, and just as I thought I couldn't take it any more, he looked into my eyes.

'I see you, Sarah, I fucking see you.'

'Oh God,' I breathed, clamping my arms around his neck, feeling it build in him too.

'That's it, fuck me. Harder,' Ben whispered against my mouth, his hips meeting mine, and then I was crying, gasping and rolling on the orgasm that took over my body, a fight between pushing down for more and pulling away because I couldn't take any more. But Ben wasn't finished. He pushed me onto my back, pinning my thighs to the mattress as he thrust into me, bringing himself to the edge. Fucking, cursing, moaning, coming and collapsing on me, still inside as we fought for air, not so easy when I was pinned under the heavy warmth of a man. But feeling him on me, in me, the remnants of our passion teasing our sensitive bodies, our hearts and lungs labouring, was the most perfect moment of my entire life. I would be sore tomorrow  –  there would be no question that I would feel Ben for days to come. He would probably love that he had made me ache, and knowing it would make me think of him, turn me on. I mentally slapped myself.

I brought my mind to the here and now as Ben pulled out of me to lie on his side, his arm draped across my breasts. I could feel him, damp and hot against my belly, and I was relieved he hadn't worried about putting distance between us. A silence hung in the air, and just as I began to fear that he felt the beginnings of regret, he propped himself on his elbow and looked down at me, grinning. He reached out and brushed his thumb against my kiss-swollen lips, so tender I had to hold back my tears. I had never been so relieved. I didn't want to be one of those girls who cried after sex. He must have read something on my face yet he didn't pull away; he closed in, tilting my head to kiss me, sweetly, until once again I felt him harden against me and he moved closer, deepening our kiss. 

Just when I thought it didn't get much better than this, fate had other ideas. It took a little while to recognise the sound, but it was there, loud and insistent. Ben lifted his head, both of us twisting to the sound before realising Ben's phone was ringing out in the hall.





Chapter Thirty-Two


Ben came bursting into the room naked, reaching for his pants. 'Get dressed.'

I sat up, pulling the sheets to my chest. 'What's wrong?'

'We have to go get Grace,' he said frantically, zipping his fly and grabbing his shirt off the floor.

'Oh my God, is she okay?' I moved then, grabbing my own pants, covering my chest.

Ben strode into the hall, picking up and chucking me my T-shirt, breathing out a laugh. 'Grace is fine. Nikki's gone into labour.'

'Oh my God, oh my God,' I said excitedly, struggling to pull my top on, only to glance down at the misshapen, wonky heart. I held it out, shaking my head. 'I can't wear this, here, chuck me that grey top from my desk,' I said, pointing to a pile of folded clothes. Without missing a beat he threw it over.

'Thanks,' I said, pulling it on. I brushed my fingers through my tangled bed hair and headed to the door. 'Come on, let's go.'

But when Ben didn't follow I turned to see what was keeping him. He hadn't moved and was staring at my pile of clothes.

'Ben, what are  … ' My words fell away, my eyes narrowing to the jacket Ben was peeling off my chair. He turned the material over in his hands, studying it with deep interest.

'Why is Alistair's jacket in your room?'

I couldn't believe it. In a flurried, panicked confession, I told him every chance meeting I'd had with Alistair, the whole three times we'd met and how it had been a secret only because Alistair had wanted to surprise Ben. That's when I saw the rage in his eyes. He didn't believe me. Oh God, he didn't think I was somehow seeing Alistair behind his back for a whole other reason, did he?

He turned from me without another word and barrelled down the stairs.

'Ben, wait!' I called after him, following his determined, furious steps. 'It's not what you think.'

'I told you not to let anyone into the house,' he said when we reached the foyer.

My mouth gaped  –  was that the biggest issue? 'But he's your brother, not just anyone.'

Anger rolled off Ben like I had never witnessed before. His hands balled into fists as he stepped closer, glaring at me, standing a few steps above him. 'Pack your things.'

'What?'

'I can't employ someone I can't trust.'

I stared at him, dumbfounded by how he was reacting. 'You're serious?'

'When it comes to the safety of my daughter I am deadly serious.'

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. His reaction was so absurd, so over the top. Then it hit me, and my shock morphed into something else: a deep, burning fury.

'If fucking me was a mistake, then you can fire me for that, you don't have to invent a reason to ask me to go.'

Something flashed in his eyes, something fleeting, as if he was going to deny it, but then he shut it down. 'I asked you not to let anyone into the house.'

'Okay, so I made a mistake, I'm sorry,' I said, at a loss to understand how this had escalated. Alistair was his brother; when I'd let him into the house, I hadn't known what he'd done. As far as Ben knew, I didn't know.



       
         
       
        

'There are some things that just can't be undone,' he said, mainly to himself. He looked up. 'I'm going to get Grace.'

'Well, can you just wait a sec-'

'No,' he said, going to the front door. He opened it and paused, turning slightly, but not looking back. 'I'm taking her to Lafayette Street.'

A pain sliced through my chest. He was shutting down again, severing ties and throwing me out. I began to crumble.

I rushed to the door. 'Ben, please, talk to me.'

His jaw clenched as if he was thinking about it, and I wanted so much for him to turn around, to talk to me, but he walked straight out the door without so much as a backward glance, leaving me standing in the foyer of an empty townhouse. Just me, and Alistair's fucking jacket.





Chapter Thirty-Three


I didn't need to ask for directions to find Nikki Fitzgerald in the sprawling private hospital, I had found the next best thing standing at the water cooler. Seamus Fitzgerald was tall, tired and sporting a curly crop of red hair.

'Seamus?' I asked.

He turned to me with curiosity.

'Sorry, my name's Sarah, I'm Grace's au pair.' I paused, remembering that I wasn't any more.

Seamus's face lit up. 'Sarah, yes, of course.' He beamed, taking my hand and shaking it so enthusiastically I thought my shoulder might dislocate. 'Nikki's told me all about you trying to tame the wild beast in her brother. I hope you've been riding him hard.'

I thought of how hard I'd ridden Ben merely days before, and my face flushed.

'Oh, yes, one tries.' I smiled, wanting nothing more than to change the subject. 'Is Nikki okay?'