New Year in Manhattan(34)

“You don’t sound excited.”

I didn’t feel it. I felt heavy. “Well, you know there’s a lot to do.”

“Ethan is desperate to get you over here as soon as possible.”

“Hmmm, maybe.”

“What do you mean ‘maybe’? Of course he is. The man would do anything for you. He’s head over heels.”

“He didn’t sound it earlier. I think we just had our first argument. Or maybe we didn’t and I’m just overreacting.”

“What did you argue about? New Year’s?”

“No, and what about New Year’s?”

“What were you arguing about then?”

“He was just snappy with me, and told me I was disturbing him and that he had a hangover. But what about New Year’s?” Was she deliberately avoiding my question?

“Yeah, he had too much whiskey last night.”

“He was with you?”

“And Andrew, he came by on the way back from the airport.”

Why hadn’t he said anything about going to Andrew and Mandy’s? It was so unlike him.

“Anna?”

I didn’t know what to say. Something felt really off, but there was nothing I could put my finger on. Mandy had just confirmed that he had a hangover. I knew today was going to be a busy day for him. Although his response was asshole-like, it shouldn’t have created the feeling that my heart was going to crash through my chest.

“Yeah, I’m here. Mandy, tell me about New Year’s. Why would we be arguing about it? I know you’re Ethan’s friend but I need you to tell me which bit of the puzzle I’m obviously missing.”

“I love you guys together. I want you two to make it work.”

“Mandy,” I warned.

“Anna, he will kill me if I tell you.”

“And if you don’t, I will.” My mind was racing. Did he have a secret love child or a gay past? What was Mandy about to tell me?

“Jesus, Anna, if you tell him I told you, I’ll kill you. How’s that?”

“I won’t. I promise. Please put me out of my misery.”

“He was planning to propose. On New Year’s.”

Shit. Leah had been right.

“Anna?”

“I’m still here. On New Year’s Eve? Why didn’t he?”

“Apparently you told him that you didn’t want to marry him earlier in the evening.”

“When earlier?” We’d not talked about getting married.

“I don’t know exactly. He was planning to ask you at the top of the Empire State Building, so sometime before that.”

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t marry him, I’d not really considered it. I just don’t get marriage. It’s not important to me, but he knows that, I think. Was he seriously going to ask me?”

“By the look of the ring I saw a picture of, I’d say he was as serious as he’s ever been about anything.”

“And now he’s pissed off. I’ve hurt him.” It wasn’t a question—it just all made sense. If I thought about it, things had been off since that night. He’d seemed a bit distant and distracted. I’d not been paying attention.

“He’s questioning himself and whether you want the same things that he does. You just need to talk about it. I know how you feel about him. And deep down, so does he. I reminded him that you’re moving continents for him, but all he can focus on is you not wanting to marry him.”

There was nothing I wanted more in that moment than to be able to transport myself to New York. I needed to explain myself. “Thanks for telling me. Thank god you did. Please don’t tell him that we’ve had this conversation. I’m going to make this right.”

I fished out my blackberry from my coat pocket and emailed Paul, saying that it was really important to me that I finish as soon as possible and that I needed to take next week off, even if they couldn’t let me go for good at the end of this week.

I then found my phone and texted Ethan.

A: I love you. I miss you.

I couldn’t have him doubting my heart for a second.

Then I logged on to my laptop and booked myself a one-way ticket to New York for Saturday. I had four days to pack up my life. If work didn’t release me from my contract, I’d take unpaid leave or go sick or something.

I jumped at my phone’s text alert.

SG: Good. Me too.

I smiled at the words. I hadn’t expected him to reply given his earlier mood but I was glad that it didn’t sound like he’d given up.

A: I spoke to Paul. He’s talking to the other partners. I’m going to speak to him again tomorrow.

Before I’d put my phone down after I’d sent my text, it started to ring. The words ‘Sex God’ flashed up.