New Year in Manhattan(19)

Ethan grabbed my hand from the knocker, but it was too late, I’d already thumped out our arrival.

“What did you say?” His eyes were boring into me, but I didn’t turn to meet his glare.

“You heard what I said. Let’s talk about it later.” I could already hear rustling behind the door.

“No, I want to talk about it now. You handed your notice in and didn’t think I might want to know?” I couldn’t tell if he was mad or just shocked. But he wasn’t happy, and I suppose I’d expected him to be. Frankly, I’d expected him to be bloody ecstatic.

“Of course I thought you would want to know, which is why I said I had things to tell you.”

“So do you have a new job? Are you going to India to be a yoga instructor? Or joining a cult? What the—” Mandy’s wide smile and bouncy hair greeted us as she flung open the door.

“I’m so pleased you’re here.” She pulled me into a hug. “Get in before you let all the heat out. Andrew’s in the basement trying to find some wine that Ethan won’t spit out in disgust.”

I avoided Ethan’s glare as we stripped off our coats, boots and scarves and headed into the kitchen.

“Mandy, I just need a quick word with Anna in private—”

“No you don’t.” It wasn’t the time to talk about this.

“Okay, fine. We’ll do it in front of Mandy,” Ethan said.

“No we won’t.”

“Are you fighting?” Mandy looked worried.

“Not fighting. I just found out about thirty seconds ago that Anna quit her job.”

“Ethan!” I couldn’t believe he’d just said that. This was between us, it should be private.

“You quit your job?” Mandy asked.

“Who quit their job?” Andrew emerged from the basement carrying numerous bottles of wine.

“Anna,” Mandy said. Oh my god, this was ridiculous.

“Great. Are you moving to New York?” Andrew asked the sixty four thousand dollar question.

I didn’t respond. My mouth opened and closed like a guppy. I was still in shock that the information I’d kept to myself so I could reveal it when the time was right was now being handed around like candy at a children’s birthday party.

“You said you’d lost your mojo, but I thought that was temporary. I thought you liked your job,” Ethan said, trying to catch my eye.

He didn’t sound excited. He didn’t sound happy. He sounded concerned, scared even.

“I do, I did.”

Andrew started handing out very full glasses of wine, thank goodness. “It’s just, well I have lost my mojo, and I thought about it and it’s never going to work out there. If we stay together there’s the anti-fraternization policy and if we were to split, I couldn’t be at that firm, there’s no way I’d handle it, so, I just . . .” Had I done the wrong thing? I’d been excited to tell Ethan. I thought he’d be pleased by the news, but maybe I’d been wrong.

“If we stay together?” Ethan asked. “When did we become an ‘if’?”

“Don’t get lost in the semantics, Ethan,” Mandy said. “Let’s sit down. Do you want us to leave you for a few minutes?”

I really could have done without the audience. This was proper personal stuff and I was British. I wasn’t used to sharing this shit. But Ethan shook his head and I didn’t want to be any ruder than we were being already.

“I didn’t mean anything by saying ‘if’, Ethan. I thought this could be a good thing for us. But I understand that it might be too soon and that’s fine, it doesn’t have to be a big deal,” I said. “I’m sorry about all this,” I said turning to Mandy. Tears started to form in the back of my throat. The last thing I wanted to do was start crying.

Ethan reached for me and pulled me toward him. His arms around me felt like the best thing in the world. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled into his chest.

“You have nothing to apologize for. I’m sorry. I just want to know these things,” Ethan whispered into my ear.

“I didn’t want to put pressure on us. I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything,” I replied.

“What do you mean pressure?” Ethan asked.

“You’re being such a guy, Ethan,” Mandy said. “She doesn’t want you to feel like she’s pressuring you into inviting her to New York. And you need to stop being such a girl, Anna,” she continued. “Ethan wants you in New York. He’s desperate for you to move here, but he’s been running around trying to work out how he can move to London, so you don’t have to give it all up for him.”