I checked my phone and smiled at the text Anna had sent earlier. She’d liked the book. It was the least provocative of all the gifts I had planned for her. I was still holding my cell when another text arrived.
A: When are you free? Can we talk?
E: Are you okay? I’m in a meeting now, but I can excuse myself.
A: No, when you are home. I just had a fight with Leah and I want to hear your voice.
Jesus, the woman made me feel like a god.
E: I’ll be home by 7pm again, beautiful.
For the second time in two days I left the office at six thirty. It wasn’t sustainable. Just because I worked from home after I spoke to Anna wasn’t enough. I needed to be in the office. Three weeks until she got here, and then we needed to talk.
I called her as soon as I reached my apartment. She sounded sleepy and the blood rushed to my dick. The feeling of being ready for her when she wasn’t here wasn’t getting any easier.
“How was your day?” she asked.
“A fucking nightmare. I hate dealing with stupid clients.”
She laughed and the tension in my voice suddenly sounded ridiculous. I could do nothing but grin in response.
“Anyway, none of that matters. Tell me about Leah. It’s not like you two to argue.”
“We’re okay, it’s fine. It’s just, I got a letter from Ben.”
“From who?” The pulse in the veins on my neck throbbed.
“Hear me out.”
“Hear you talk about your fucking dick of an ex?”
She sighed and I felt like a dick, but really?
“No, whatever. I thought you would want to know.”
“Anna, what the fuck did the fucking letter say?” I didn’t need to ask. Of course, it would be begging her forgiveness, begging her to take him back. Fucking dick couldn’t keep her in the first place and now wanted a second chance.
“I need you to calm down.”
“And I need you to tell me what that fucking letter says before I get on the next plane to London to read it for myself.” The throb in my neck was getting wilder.
“Calm the hell down, I am going to tell you if you give me a minute and stop acting like an asshole.”
I had nothing to say to that. She was right. Some of that asshole virus must have got to me after all.
“Okay, sorry, go on.”
“I’m not one of your associates that you can boss around, Mr. Bossy Pants. Well not outside the bedroom, anyway.” That made me smile. “So, I got a letter at work from Ben today.”
Was it me, or was she stringing this out. She needed to get the fuck on with it. And then I could arrange to have him killed or something.
“And it was to make amends.”
“I bet it was, the limp-dicked prick.”
“No, it was like part of his treatment. He’s in AA or something for his addiction to drugs and alcohol. And it was a really lovely letter. Telling me how sorry he was for putting me in danger, for deceiving and manipulating me. How none of it was my fault . . .”
“Of course it wasn’t your fault.”
“Ethan, listen. It was nice. I was shocked to hear he was an addict. I didn’t know. And it kind of makes sense. But he hid it well and I’m pleased for him that he’s getting the help he needs.”
“And does he want you back?”
“No, that’s not what this was about.”
My pulse calmed.
“Okay, so why did you and Leah fight, or is it not connected?”
“Yeah, well it’s kind of connected.” She was reticent.
“So, talk to me.”
“It’s nothing, and I overreacted. It’s embarrassing, really.”
“Tell me.”
“Okay, but you have to promise to hear me out. Don’t go bat-shit crazy again.”
“Go on, Anna.”
“Leah just asked if I would try and reconcile with Ben now that I’d read the letter. And I got really mad that she could ever think that, knowing how I feel about you. She knows how different it is between us compared to other boyfriends I’ve had. I mean, if she feels for Daniel even a tenth of what I feel for you, she would never say that. I just lost it. Totally lost it and I feel bad. I apologized and it will be fine, but I was so irritated.”
I think my heart stopped. Literally, stopped dead. I didn’t think it was possible to love someone more than I knew I loved Anna but apparently it was.
“Ethan?”
“Yeah, I’m here, beautiful. I’m sorry you had that fight with Leah—no, scratch that. I’m not sorry at all. I needed to hear that from you today.”
“You did?”
“It’s all good. But we need a plan. We can’t live three thousand miles away from each other for long. I think it might just ruin me.”