She thought of the hours she and Xavier had spent making love. Her body could still feel every caress, every kiss and every hot spark of desire. But now despair filled her heart. It hadn't helped her to move on, as she'd foolishly believed. It had only made things worse.
'Let's hope we can escape this place today.' Xavier all but growled the words out. He was putting distance between them. She got the message loud and clear. Last night was well and truly over.
It's for the best, she told herself as she walked to the window to see if escape, as he'd called it, was possible. One thing was for sure, she had no intention of hanging around for his rejection. He'd turned his girlfriend away, so pushing her away would be easy. She'd been rejected by Jason and she certainly wasn't going to meekly wait for it to happen again. This time she would do the rejecting.
Feeling suffocated and hemmed in, she roughly pulled open the curtains, her agitation showing in every movement until she froze. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. It was still snowing. The possibility of leaving today didn't look good. 'No, it can't be,' she whispered, more to herself than to the man whose brooding presence filled the room.
Behind her she heard the flick of the light switch and turned to face him. 'The power is still out.' His eyes, cold and dark, met hers.
Could this get any worse? She'd just spent the night with the man who was effectively her boss, shared secrets they both probably would never have told, and now they were going to be forced to spend yet another day alone in the same house.
'It's still snowing.' Her voice was barely above a whisper as she tried to take in what this all meant.
She turned to face him, wanting to prove to herself she was in control, that she wouldn't dissolve into a distressed heap in front of him. Right now she didn't care what he thought of her. All she cared about was dousing the passion once and for all. It couldn't happen again.
'So, we are completely cut off. Snowbound.' His sharp tone caught her unawares and she couldn't think what to do now, her mind in a panic.
'I need to leave today. I have to go.'
She had to get to Vanessa's, but, more importantly, she had to get away from Xavier.
* * *
Xavier marched to the window and looked out at the white landscape. Snow was plastered to the sides of trees and bushes as if someone had painted them with a brush. They could be stuck here for several days.
How were they going to move on from their conversation in the early hours of this morning? He'd opened up to her, believing they would be parting the next morning. He couldn't spend the day with her after that revelation. What if they were stuck here? What would happen tonight?
He remembered every detail of last night as the blizzard had done its worst outside. Her total innocence and how he'd let her into his mind. But as dawn had broken, reality had begun to creep back stealthily.
'We should have tried to go yesterday.' She dragged her hands through her hair and instantly he recalled how his fingers had slid through its thickness last night.
Enough, he berated himself. It had been exactly that sort of emotion that had lowered his defences, allowed her to touch his heart. The heart he'd kept frozen for the last three years.
He looked at her face, at the horror of their situation reflected in her eyes. He knew she thought he was blaming her. But he wasn't. He'd messed up enough lives with the accident and now he was messing up hers, opening up wounds he'd never known she'd nursed, wounds as big as those he was trying to heal.
'It's not going to help to stand here, apportioning blame. After breakfast I will walk to the road to see what the situation is.' He was back in charge, back in control, which was more than he'd been last night.
'I'm coming too.' The firm statement left him in no doubt that she intended to do just that. 'I've seen more boots and coats in one of the back rooms.'
'Va bene.' He could see any kind of refusal was useless. Thankfully, minute by minute, he was regaining control, not only of his emotions but the situation.
The strong, hot coffee, brewed on the gas stove, had further infused him with discipline, so that by the time they were making their way through the deep snow he was in a more amenable mood.
Just as when she'd arrived, Tilly wore her red woollen hat and scarf. Her cheeks were flushed from the freezing wind and a worried look haunted her eyes. Was it really that important to get to her friend's house? A real friend would understand. These thoughts cluttered his mind, filling it with questions, until Tilly stumbled into a windblown patch of snow, which was far deeper than she'd expected, and with a squeal of shock she flung out her arms.
He caught her instantly, his reactions quick and precise. But instead of letting her go as soon as she was steady on her feet, he held her close. She looked up at him, wide-eyed, and that strange sensation filled his chest, squashing almost all the breath from him. Despite their bundled layers he could feel the heat from her body infusing his and the urge to kiss her was so strong he had to grit his teeth against it.
Again she was testing him. Dio mio. What had she done to him?
He'd pushed her boundaries, knocked them down, all for his own selfish needs, had divulged all his secrets, but he still wanted her.
'We should continue,' he managed to say over the thrum of lust. 'The sky is looking more threatening, as if more snow is on the way.'
* * *
'So much snow.' Tilly couldn't believe it. More snow meant not only being unable to get to Vanessa's but also being here longer with Xavier. That was something she couldn't do, especially when he looked at her with such intolerance in his eyes. He didn't want to be here with her, much less be reminded of the mistake they'd made last night.
Their passion had been all-consuming, totally undeniable. She'd always thought passion caused trouble, that unhappiness was just a kiss away-and it had certainly proved to be true. One kiss had led to last night and now he could barely look at her.
'We will see what the lanes look like then decide what to do.' The command in his voice was strong, adding weight to her theory that he now despised her. She'd pushed him to talk, forced him to reveal not just his scars but his feelings. He was shutting himself away, becoming unreachable.
She pulled away from him, away from the burning anger that sparked so vibrantly in his eyes. 'Even if the lanes are clear, I'll never get the van out of here.'
Despair flooded through her. Her mind was so full of anxiety she wanted to drop to the snow and give up, but that would be showing weakness and you never let your enemy see that. He may well have been her lover for just those few short hours, but the way he was treating her now he was as good as her enemy.
'Maybe not, but we could try and get you to the main road and public transport.'
So he was that desperate to be rid of her and the problem created by last night's passionate encounter that he would pack her up and put her on a bus.
'It's snowing, Xavier. Buses will not be running. Not today.' The spark of fire in her voice shocked her and, judging by the way he looked at her, it had shocked him too. Those coolly assessing eyes held hers and for a moment everything was silent, muffled by the snow and the tension stretching between them.
'Come.' The command in his voice was strong and clear, but he held out his hand to her. She looked at it, knowing taking hold of it would change everything. 'Natalie?'
She took his hand, not knowing why or what she hoped would happen, but she hadn't anticipated the zing of electricity that zipped up her arm.
'I don't like this.' She'd spoken before she could think. 'Being stuck here, I mean.'
'Because of the snow or me?' He fired the question at her as he strode through the deep snow. Finally they reached the part of the driveway that twisted through the woods and where the depth of snow was less, sheltered by the trees.
'Both,' she answered honestly.
They'd reached the small bridge, the stream below, iced at the edges, leaving just a trickle of moving water. He pulled her to a stop, forcing her to face him, but didn't let go of her hand.
'What happened last night...' he began, but she cut him off.
'No, not now.' She didn't want to hear his admission that he'd never meant it to happen, that he'd never intended to make love to her with such passion, because that would be too painful. Last night should have been about just one night. A fling. But she'd let passion rule and with a start she realised she had fallen in love with him.
She had no idea how it had happened, how her feelings had turned to something so powerful, but they had. Now she had to block that out, stop the surge of love that had flowed through her. And she would.