'I wanted to work tonight.' Her matter-of-fact words came so fluidly it was as if she'd rehearsed them. She'd used that excuse again and again in recent weeks as the party invitations had arrived. There was just one person who'd seen through it. Vanessa.
He smiled, one of satisfaction, but it still made him look deliciously handsome. 'You are hiding, then.'
What would he say if he knew the truth? Would it kill whatever hummed between them? She certainly hoped so, because she was finding it ever more difficult not to notice the way her body felt each time he looked at her.
'Not exactly. My fiancé called off our wedding exactly a year ago today.' The sharp words hurtled out. Just bringing Jason into her mind cooled the effect Xavier was having on her.
He sat back in his chair, his fingers slowly turning the stem of the wine glass. 'So you thought that working this year was preferable to partying?'
'Something like that.' She wished she hadn't begun this conversation. In a bid to quell the tension, which was loaded with passion, she'd already said too much. 'I'll get the next course.'
Before he could say anything else she left the room, as gracefully and quickly as her heels allowed. In the kitchen she dished up the venison casserole and croquette potatoes that the wintery weather had inspired and forced down the pain of Jason's betrayal.
Footsteps alerted her to Xavier's presence and she pretended to be busy with the food, not wanting to look at him and see the same pity on his face that her friends and family bestowed on her. Pity she didn't deserve, not when ultimately it had been her fault the wedding hadn't happened. She'd just followed through from being school friends to fulfilling everyone's expectations of marriage. Jason had been the only constant in her life, but for him, at least, it hadn't been enough.
She heard Xavier put down the starter plates, but couldn't acknowledge him yet, keeping resolutely turned away. He stopped directly behind her and her breathing deepened as her almost bare back tingled from his nearness and she vehemently wished she hadn't changed out of her jeans and jumper.
'Can I offer help?' The husky note of his voice, to her dismay, made her shiver visibly. 'You are cold.'
'A little,' she lied, as she turned to face him, alarmed at how close he was. 'You hired me to cater for this dinner party and should not be helping.'
She picked up the hot dish of the main course with her waitressing cloth and left the kitchen, desperate to get away from the heat he'd surrounded her with. But if she'd thought things would be easier as they sat at the table again, she had been wrong. Their polite exchanges were merely a smokescreen for something much bigger.
'Your fiancé, he was a fool.' Xavier finished his meal and placed his napkin on the table, intently watching every move she made.
'You can't say that. You don't know anything about him.' Instinctively she protected Jason. It hadn't been entirely Jason's fault. He'd only been reacting to her inability to show him love. When her father had died her mother had sought solace with a new man and she had felt abandoned. All she'd wanted had been to feel special and Jason had done that, first as a friend, then as her boyfriend, but never as her lover.
'That may be so, but I do know he was a fool to let a woman like you go.' A light smile lifted his lips and she found herself wondering what it would be like to be kissed by him. Instantly she dismissed the thought as totally unprofessional. It was so unlike her and guilt filled her for thinking it when the only man she'd kissed was Jason.
Again that item on her bucket list nudged to the forefront of her mind. It was so out of character for her that Vanessa had been shocked when she'd told her, but hadn't let her forget the idea, adamant it was just what she needed. She'd reminded her of it earlier when she'd called her to say she was snowed in at the manor. Could this really be her chance to tick that off her list, to prove to herself she was over Jason, without getting her heart broken?
No. She was here professionally and wouldn't jeopardise her business reputation for one night of excitement, however tempting Xavier might be.
* * *
Xavier sensed there was a lot more she wasn't telling him. To be defending her ex-fiancé so strongly, she must still love him. But why love someone who'd hurt you, walking out on you when it had most counted?
He done exactly that to his long-term girlfriend when she'd left him literally hanging in the hospital, too disgusted to even sit with him. Carlotta had taken it so well he'd seriously questioned if she'd ever loved him and was relieved he'd resisted prompts from her and his family, before the accident, to make that final and permanent commitment. At least he hadn't had to deal with a divorce as well as the knowledge he'd destroyed Paulo's family.
Tilly stood up abruptly, dragging his thoughts back from those dark days, effectively ending the conversation. 'Dessert?'
The husky tone of her voice pulled his thoughts back from those painful months after the accident. Painful not because Carlotta had shown her true shallow nature but because of the guilt that racked him every time he thought of the accident and the devastation it had caused.
He let his gaze travel down Tilly's slender body, allowing her gorgeous figure to ground him and pull him back from that abyss. On her beautiful face was an expression of hesitancy, mixed with the composure she'd been fighting to retain all night.
A stab of hot lust shot through him. It wasn't just the challenge she'd set before him, it was much more-and almost impossible to ignore.
He wanted her-more than he'd wanted any woman.
'Let's abandon this formality.' The need to break out, to rebel against what was right, surged through him.
'What do you mean?' The shock in her voice was clear, her blue eyes wide with disbelief.
'The fire in the lounge is so much more inviting, no?'
'Yes, it is.' She lowered her lashes, blocking him out, but even so her body called to his, beckoned him with the lure of desire.
'Bene.' He got up and moved around the table towards her. She met his gaze again, her gorgeous eyes wide and luminous, and he felt something squeeze tight around his chest. It had been a long time since a woman had affected him so potently.
Suddenly she moved away from him and began clearing the table. 'I will see to this first.' The matter-of-fact words cooled his ardour, reminding him she was not the kind of woman to have affairs, the kind who wanted just what at the moment he could offer. He had to remember he'd hired her for this evening's dinner party, which in itself was an added complication.
Before he had time to process those thoughts properly she left the room, carrying things back to the kitchen. He picked up other items from the table and strode through to the kitchen where the bright lights subdued what had arced between them-and highlighted reality.
'I have a few things to do then I will bring dessert through to the lounge.' She turned and looked at him, the wariness in her eyes halting him in his tracks. She was warning him without words to keep away, telling him she didn't want to pursue the attraction, and after what she'd just told him he'd be heartless to force her. She was still in love with another man, even though her body called to his. But ignoring her was proving difficult.
'Allow me to help.'
'No.' The shock in that word startled him, and he looked at her in question. 'No, thank you. This is my job, Signor Moretti, I'm not here to be wined and dined. I'm paid to be here-working.'
She was either putting them both firmly in their places or laying down an even bigger challenge. His pulse leapt at the thought, but he knew, deep down, it wasn't that. She was right. Her brief story about last New Year's Eve only confirmed she wanted more than a night of passion and an expensive parting gift. She wasn't the kind of woman who sought such nights, she never would be. He couldn't give a woman like Tilly what she wanted.
'Very well,' he said firmly. 'But I expect you to join me in the lounge. I have no intention of welcoming in the New Year alone.'
'But...' She searched for more excuses.
'You will join me,' he said sternly, and she looked up at him and the expression on her face soothed his ruffled demeanour. She looked vulnerable and so very beautiful. 'For just one glass of champagne. To toast in the New Year.'
CHAPTER FOUR
TILLY'S HEART RATE HAD barely slowed after Xavier had left the kitchen. Unable to do anything for a while, she had just stood looking out of the window, watching the large snowflakes drift past, so white against the darkness of the night.
For the last hour she'd kept reminding herself she was working for Signor Moretti, as she tried hard to think of him. Anything to stay on a professional level, because talking about Jason and last New Year's Eve with him had allowed things to slip into something more intimate.