Never is a Promise(58)
“She never told me,” I said, my voice winding down into nothing more than a whisper. I’d recalled being drunkenly told by my “handlers” that some girl from back home was trying to call me, but it was only a few times early on. I’d always figured she was just trying to rekindle our relationship, and I was in no position to be dating anyone on the road. All those times I’d ignored her, I thought I was doing both of us a favor. “I didn’t know, Sam. I swear I didn’t know.”
“It’s probably for the best,” Sam said. “Neither of you were in any kind of condition to be raising a baby.”
“Daddy!” the little girl called out from the crack in the window. “Let’s go!”
Sam turned around and gave her a wave. “Coming, Mabry.” He turned and gave me a bittersweet nod. “Please don’t tell Rebecca I told you. And please don’t complicate this. Please.”
Sam hopped into his Volvo and fastened his seat belt, and our eyes locked the entire time.
And then he drove away with a piece of my heart I didn’t even know was missing.
“You knew all this time?” I could feel my face morphing from previously apprehensive to ridiculously angry as my eyes burned hot.
Beau placed his hand up in protest. “I didn’t know until recently, but yes. I swear I never knew you were pregnant, Dakota. I wouldn’t have made you go through all that on your own. I may be a lot of things, but I’m not that.”
I crossed my arms. “How long have you known?”
“Maybe four, five years?”
“Were you ever going to tell me?” My words assumed a shrill, high-pitched accusatory tone I’d never taken with him before.
“Dakota,” he said, placing his hands on mine. “Yeah, it was always in the back of my mind, but I figured it was your place to tell me. And I trusted you’d tell me when you were ready.”
I slumped back, falling into the leather armchair in the corner of the dressing room. A thousand thoughts filled my mind faster than I could process them. Beau followed me, dropping to his knees and placing his hands across my thighs.
“Listen,” he said. “I appreciate what you did for us. For her.”
My eyes found his.
“I can’t imagine it was a cakewalk for you to be eighteen, nineteen years old and going through this pregnancy all alone.”
“I had Rebecca.”
“Still. It should’ve been me. I should’ve been there. I should’ve been beside you making the decisions so you didn’t have to do it by yourself.”
“Agreed.” I drew in a sharp breath. “I tried to contact you, you know. Multiple times.”
His brows furrowed.
“You never got back to me.”
His full lips formed a sharp line as he stared deep into my eyes – into my soul. “I thought I was protecting you from me. I thought you were just trying to get back together, and the timing was all wrong. I thought I was protecting us from ourselves. The second I played my first sold out show, I was no longer the man you fell in love with, and that’s why I stayed away.”
I admitted to myself that perhaps I didn’t try hard enough. After the first few months of being ignored, I washed my hands of it all and chose to resent him instead.
His hand cupped my face. “God, it must’ve been so hard for you to shoulder this burden all by yourself.”
I wiped away a single tear. I’d cried enough over the situation to last a lifetime. I refused to cry again.
“What you did,” he said, “makes me love you even more than I already did.”
He lifted up, his lips meeting mine as his fingers brushed the hair from my face.
“You know why I love you, Dakota?”
“Why’s that?”
“Because you’re beautiful and strong and resilient,” he said. “And that’s the one part of you that hasn’t changed at all.”
I flashed a half-smile, my shoulders relaxing as the weight of the world began to dissipate.
“I think you’ve had to sacrifice enough the last ten years, don’t you think?” Beau rose and pulled me up into his arms. “Maybe it’s time I sacrifice a few things.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I was thinking of getting me a pretty little penthouse somewhere in this God-forsaken city.”
I laughed. “You hate New York.”
“Yeah, but home isn’t a zip code. Home is wherever you are, Dakota.”
My eyes closed as I pressed my cheek against his chest, breathing him in and slipping my arms around his waist.
He’d kept his promise. He’d come back for me.
A knock on the door pulled us out of our moment.