Never The Bride(38)

        

'Yet,' he said firmly. 'We're still in different places. You won't move to New York and I'm still not ready to move here. Unless you'll change your mind and agree for us to carry on as we were?' he asked hopefully.

'I can't, Miller,' I replied, more pain fuelling my words, pain I thought I'd released with all the tears I'd shed overnight and this morning.

'I know,' he sighed. 'Deep down I knew that, which is why I wouldn't have come yet.'

'But you did, you came for Valentine's Day. Well, it would have been if I was on New York time,' I reminded him.

'Because I realized that on the most romantic day of the year, there was only one person I wanted to be with. You have no idea how much it hurt me when he opened that door.'

'Nothing happened, I promise.' I propped myself up on one elbow as I looked down at him, searching his deep brown eyes to see if he believed me.

'I believe you, and I had Georgie and Daphne call me to tell me the same thing, to try and get me to come back.'

'They did? Oh, they're just the sweetest,' I sighed, my heart warming at the thought of my amazing friends and neighbours.

'They love you, and despite this mess we're in, so do I, Abbie.'

'So we're back at square one, aren't we? What do we do?'

'We don't call this goodbye, and even though we won't see each other, we'll act as if we're in a relationship, even if we're not.' He held my gaze as I frowned, confused at what he was suggesting. He flipped onto his side, mirroring my pose, and reached up to grip my chin as he ran his thumb back and forth over my lower lip, making my breath hitch. 'I think I've found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, Abbie, and I hope you feel the same, but  …  it's obviously just not our time right now.'

'So you're saying we stay faithful to each other, even though we won't be seeing each other, and hope that at some stage we're both in the same place?'

'Yes,' he nodded. I closed my eyes and sighed, then shook my head as I felt my heart shatter all over again.

'I hate saying this, but that doesn't work for me either. I could be waiting for years, possibly forever. I can understand your reluctance, I hurt you when I ended it, like your parents hurt you by abandoning you, but I'm tired of being alone, Miller. I'm ready to give you all of me, and I want the same in return, not a "maybe someday in the future". It might be a great offer for most girls, but it's not enough for me. It's like being told I've got the most delicious box of gourmet chocolate truffles, but I'm only allowed a tiny sliver every day and the box has to last me for years. I'd rather have no truffles at all than be tortured.' 

'I'm a box of chocolate truffles?' he grinned, his cute dimples coming out full force, though his eyes showed his disappointment in my decision.

'Gourmet truffles. The best I ever had,' I added in a whisper.

'Likewise,' he nodded. 'And that means a lot, Abbie.'

'Will you stay, just for a few days? I'm feeling pretty vulnerable at the moment and I'd really like for you to be here to help scatter Sumo's ashes in the garden.' I felt myself tear up at the reminder that I'd just lost an important male in my life and was about to lose another.

'I'll stay, I want to be by your side when you do,' he agreed, then pulled me back down against him. 'Who'd have thought a generally miserable mutt called Mr. Sumo could make an ocean between us evaporate, even if it is only for a few days.'

'Being miserable was his thing, and I'm going to miss it, terribly. But I sure as hell won't miss his vapour.'

Miller chuckled and tightened his arms around me, and I closed my eyes and reminded myself that this was just another relationship on borrowed time, and I had to make the most of it while I still had him.





Chapter Twelve


Dress Twelve

April



'OH MY GOD! QUICK, hide,' I urged, grabbing Georgie's hand as I dragged her to the large bushy hedge that separated the village shop we'd just left from the main road.

'What, what is it?' she protested as we crouched behind the overgrown green mass.

'Max Kirkland coming this way, looking all handsome and debonair. I can't face him again, not after turdgate.' I scowled at Georgie as she started giggling. 'Don't. I mean, Sumo slobbers on him, and then I ruin morning tea, as well as his conservatory roof. I just can't look him in the eye. I felt so bad I sent him a letter confessing and apologising, and deeply regretted it the moment I put it in the post box.'

'That's how you bruised your hand last week,' she gasped. 'You were trying to haul it out.'

'Yes well, I seem to have a habit of sticking my hand where it shouldn't go, don't I?'

'Why did you post it? With the exception of the church between you, you're actual neighbours, you could have hand delivered it.'

'I might have been seen. It was embarrassing enough facing them on the day, I wasn't about to return to relive the humiliation. I mean, it's not just him or his mother. The butler knew, as well as the groundsman who probably had to rescue it, and I bet it went around the rest of the staff, most of whom live in the village.'

'Imagine how I felt sitting there, especially when they both looked at me for answers before you came down. You really dropped me in it, Abbie, it was a real strain. That's one funny disaster you won't be flushing any time soon,' she winked.

'Enough with the toilet puns,' I groaned. I'd had them non-stop from her since it had happened.

'Oh, don't be a spoilsport, just brush it off,' she teased.

'Sssshhhh,' I warned, as we heard the distinctive sound of the steel taps on his handmade leather shoes striking off the pavement as he strode towards the shop.

'Why's he single?' Georgie whispered as she peered through a gap in the foliage. 'He's very hot for an older guy.'

'He's only about eight years older than us. I bet the fête will be packed this year, now that everyone knows he's on the market again.'



       
         
       
        

'Hmmm, I'll be there for sure,' Georgie agreed, then both of us went silent and put our heads down as he approached.

'Ladies, wonderful morning for  …  what exactly is it you're doing down there?' came Max's distinctly well-to-do voice. Damn it, he was so tall he'd seen us over the hedge. I grimaced, not wanting to look up and relive my humiliation.

'You know how fascinated Abbie is with animal poo, we're on a foraging session for specimens,' Georgie announced far too gleefully as she stood up.

'You're welcome to come and collect some from my stables, Miss Carter. Now if you could time depositing it somewhere visible during my mother's next visit, you'd be doing me a huge favour.'

'I'm so sorry, again,' I mumbled as I stood up and avoided looking at his face.

'After seeing the look of horror on Mother's face, I may resort to begging you to repeat the incident. I've actually had a blissful month of peace as she's been too mortified to return. I'm terribly sorry to hear about Mr. Sumo, my sincere condolences,' he added, his voice full of warmth and sympathy. I swallowed hard and looked up, knowing it would be rude to avoid eye contact after that.

'Thank you. On all counts,' I stressed. He smiled, his grey eyes sparkling with amusement as he leaned in, as if he was about to share a very important secret. Hmmm, he wasn't just a pretty face, buff body, and title. He smelled really good, too.

'Contrary to village perception, I'm actually a little more down to earth than my predecessor, and I do have a sense of humour.'

'You need one around Abbie,' Georgie scoffed, then flashed me an apologetic look.

'Well, I shall leave you to your  …  foraging. Enjoy your afternoon.' His smile turned into a dazzling grin as he touched his fingers to his cap again and headed towards the shop entrance.

'Wow, swoonworthy,' Georgie sighed as she followed him with her eyes.

'Ask him out,' I suggested as I looped my arm through hers. 'I could see you as Lady Kirkland, mistress of the manor.'

'Me too,' she nodded as we struck out for home. 'But he's not into me, I can tell.'

'Well, he's definitely not into me, turd-flinging woman,' I giggled.

'I think turd tosser has a better ring.'

'I'd prefer neither title, thank you. Either way, I'm not wearing a turd-related fancy dress to the fête if I've not been barred for life. Could you imagine the look on his mother's face if he announced our engagement?'

'She looks like she's sucking lemons as it is, I dread to imagine,' Georgie laughed, casting one last look back at the shop as we walked away. 'Anyway, I think he's got his eye on Mrs. Smith.' 

'No,' I gasped, shooting her a horrified look. 'She's in her late seventies, for goodness sake.'

'Not that Mrs. Smith, the Mrs. Smith who lives a few doors down from shop on the hill. You know, Isla, the pretty one who was widowed a couple of years ago.'

'Oh, her. Yes, she's very attractive,' I agreed. 'Poor thing, she's only a bit older than us, with a little boy, too.'

'It's so sad,' Georgie nodded. The widow in question's husband had been killed when his army convoy drove over some land mines in Afghanistan. The whole village had attended his funeral at the church, not just out of respect, but because he'd been a lovely guy, always helping out the elderly in the village. He'd even made a fuss over Sumo whenever he'd seen him.

'She deserves to be happy, and to be spoiled by a rich, handsome man, after what she's been through. I think we need to meddle, help speed things along.'

'Wouldn't a big high-society wedding in the village be amazing?' Georgie exclaimed, her eyes lighting up at the thought as we turned right onto Church Lane.