'There's a shortcut? How did I not know this?' I demanded.
'Because it's over two stiles and across a field, where you can't go with Sumo.'
'Why are you called Heath?' I asked as he escorted me to the bottom of the beer garden, towards the rickety wooden structure that went over the fence into the field.
'Because it's my name,' he replied dryly.
'Well I know that, silly. But is it short for something?'
'Yes, you said it earlier,' he advised as he helped me up onto the wooden step.
'Heath Jones?'
'No,' he laughed. 'That's my surname. Swing your leg over and put that foot on the other step.'
'You're called Heath Heath Jones? What kind of name is that?'
'It's just Heath Jones. Heath, Christian name. Jones, surname.'
'Ahhh,' I nodded. 'But what's Heath short for? It is short for something, right?'
'Promise not to laugh?' he sighed, releasing my hand as I straddled the wooden fence and gripped it tightly.
'Promise,' I nodded solemnly. 'Wow, I really am tipsy, I can see two of you. Hmmm, two Heaths. You really are Heath Heath Jones. Or would that be Heath Jones Heath Jones, or Heath Heath Jones Jones?'
'Christ almighty. It's Heathcliff,' he muttered.
'He … Heathcliff?' I repeated, grimacing as I tried to hold in my laughter.
'Yes, Heathcliff. I told you that you'd said it earlier. Everyone calls me Heath, thank God.'
'Damn, I'm going to change my name to Catherine.'
'Why Catherine?' he asked, tucking the whisky bottle under his right arm as he stepped up to straddle the fence, facing me. I giggled and threw my arms wide as I looked up at the sky and sang at the top of my voice, giving him my best rendition of Kate Bush's Wuthering Heights.
'Great, I'm never going to hear the end of it,' he sighed. 'Please don't sing anymore, it's definitely not one of your talents.'
'Oh, Heathcliff. It gets so very, very dark and lonely without you,' I chortled, desperately trying to remember the lyrics to tease him. He muttered something, right as there was a loud crack and I slid forwards down the fence at the same time as he did, our foreheads smacking together as we met somewhere in the middle. 'Ow!' I groaned and reached up to rub my head, Heath doing the same.
'Jesus, Abbie. Are you ok?'
I screamed as there was another loud crack and we both dropped rapidly, Heath cursing as we landed astride the second rung of the fence and the whole thing started tipping to the right.
'Heathcliff!' I yelled as I clung tightly to the thin bit of wood between my thighs. Seconds later, I was on my side in the cold, wet grass, the piece of wood still in my grasp between my thighs. Heath was lying facing me with a grimace of pain on his face. 'Owww,' I groaned again, 'something's attacking my bottom and neck.'
'Sting … ing … net … tles,' he mumbled, his face still contorted. 'We've landed in … stinging nettles.' He let out a pained sound as I winced, the vicious plants attacking my skin through the rips in my jeans and where my jumper had exposed one shoulder. I scratched my neck hard, feeling a welt rising already.
'Are you ok?' I asked.
'Crushed manhood,' he moaned, his eyes screwed tightly shut. 'Give me … a minute.'
'Oh dear. Is the whisky ok?'
'Great, the whisky's more important than me having the ability to father children in the future?' he grunted, slowly opening his eyes.
'Right now, I'm thinking yes. Valentine's blows.' I reached out and grabbed the bottle from under his arm, then twisted the cap off and swigged some as I lay there before offering it to him. 'Cheers, Heathcliff.'
'Cheers, Abigail,' he replied, knocking some back as I scowled. I hated my full name. Maybe I should just stick to his preferred one and him mine.
I woke up with a start, bolting upright with a groan as I heard someone knocking on the front door. Damn it. My head was banging, I had crusty drool down the side of my face, and my hair was all matted. I tried to comb my fingers through it and pulled out some twigs and leaves. What the hell? The door was banged again, and I swung my legs off the bed as I fumbled for the lamp switch.
I squinted when it came on, and my alarm clock told me it was six a.m. Who was knocking on my door at six a.m.? And why was I dressed in Miller's black shirt, with itchy welts on my legs and neck? I lifted one of my butt cheeks and gave it a scratch, feeling some lumps and bumps on there too. I staggered to check my appearance in the mirror and groaned. I'd scratched my neck so much, it had bruised and looked like I had a huge hickey.
'Ok, ok, I'm coming,' I muttered as the impatient person outside continued to knock. I staggered out to the top of the stairs and focussed my eyes on going down them carefully, grateful to make the halfway landing in one piece. I was already aching all over and I had no idea why. I turned and headed down the last set of stairs, and gasped as I made it down just in time to see Heath, dressed only in a pair of black boxer shorts, falling backwards to land on the hall floor with a thud. Framed in the top section of the open stable door was a furious-looking Miller, who was shaking his fist.
'So, I guess it didn't take long to get over me, huh?' Miller said angrily as he glowered at me, his dark brown eyes mesmerising me like they always did.
'What? Huh? What?' I stuttered, reaching up to rub my eyes, not entirely sure what was going on. No matter that my heart had leaped and started skipping joyfully just to have him back here in Dilbury again, whatever mood he was in. I'd missed him so much, but nothing right now made sense. 'Am I dreaming? Why are you here and what the hell is a half-naked Heath doing on my hall floor?'
'No, you're not dreaming, Abbie, but I sure as hell wish I was right now. How could you do this?'
'Do what? I've no idea what's going on,' I cried, my eyes darting between the two men. Heath was just lying on the floor, completely stunned, while the anger in Miller's eyes seemed to be mixed with confusion and hurt.
'I waited, Abbie. I waited for you to contact me to say you'd made a mistake the day you broke up with me, but nothing. So here I am, chasing you, again, something I never do. Well, I guess I was a fool for thinking you'd be sitting here missing me. I hope you and … your new guy will be very happy.'
'My new guy? I don't have a new guy.'
'Next you'll be saying that that isn't a hickey on your neck. Don't make things worse by lying, Abbie. I've spent the last month regretting how things ended with us, missing you, and it looks like you just went out and got yourself someone else without a second glance in the rearview mirror.'
'I didn't!' I protested, as I looked down at Heath. He let out a groan and reached up to rub his cheek, which had a big red mark on it. Oh God. Flashes of the night started coming back to me. The meal, the pub, the fence breaking, drinking in the lounge, me falling over, then Heath helping me upstairs, taking off Miller's shirt, and dressing me in it for bed. He must have gone to sleep on the sofa and answered the door when Miller knocked. 'Oh God, Heath, are you ok?'
'Hmmm,' he groaned, blinking his eyes as he started to come out of his daze.
'Did you punch him?' I gasped, dropping to my knees to check Heath's face and make sure he didn't have a concussion. Sumo waddled in and started grumbling in the background, as confused as I was at all the commotion this early in the morning. 'Miller, did you punch him?' I demanded as I looked back up at the door, only to find there was no one there.
'I'm fine, go after him,' Heath mumbled, trying to sit himself up.
'Miller!' I shouted as I bolted out of the front door. He was getting into his car, which was parked on the drive right next to Heath's van, which was hardly incognito as it had his name and number all over the side. Damn it! No wonder Miller was angry. It really wasn't looking good at all, despite nothing having happened. 'Wait! It's not what it looks like,' I cried as I shot through the side gate and he started to reverse.
He gave me a sad look, a look that told me that he still loved me every bit as much as I did him, which only confused me more. Why hadn't he fought for us last month if he felt that way about me? He shook his head as he reversed into the lane and turned to head up it, so I ran out and slammed my hands on the bonnet. Ha, he wasn't going anywhere unless he wanted to run me over.
Oh God, what if he was so angry he ploughed me down in a fit of jealous lover's rage? I held his gaze as I tried to make up my mind about whether to stand my ground or let him go. I was standing in the lane in just a shirt, with the largest looking love bite on my neck, blocking my furious ex from leaving, while Heath was hanging over the bottom half of the stable door looking like he was naked, and Sumo was uncharacteristically barking his head off. Those damn ramblers better not be having a dawn walk, or I really was going to be village gossip this morning.
'Move, Abbie,' Miller growled out of the window.
'No! You came back, you came back for a reason, and I don't want you to go. I'm seriously confused and hungover right now, but please stay and we can talk.'
'I'm too angry to talk, Abbie, and I might say something I'll regret, something we can't come back from. And I can't come back while he's there or I'm likely to kill him.'