Never Sweeter(50)

They were just fucking.

Not even fucking, really.

Accidentally being super filthy with each otherand that was all. That was all, she told herself, as he tenderly cleaned her up. That was all, she told herself, as he slipped an arm around her waist.

That was all, she told herself, as he whispered against the nape of her neck.

“That’s the only reason I ever want you to cry, from now on.”





Chapter 16


She knew he wasn’t looking at his books. She knew like she’d known the last time they sat across from each other in the library, only this was so much worse. Now they were at the point where things needed to be said. He was quite possibly waiting for her to say them. The only issue was, she had no idea what any of the words actually were.

If she laughed about it, he might think she was dismissing the whole thing. Mocking him somehow, only to find he was deadly serious. However, telling him that she had enjoyed the previous nightwith the movie and the…other thingswas just as bad. What if he thought she was desperate for him somehow? He might try to let her down gentlyan idea that set her cheeks ablaze. She almost got up and walked right out, just thinking about it.

And probably would have done, if it wasn’t for the note.

The one he slid over the pages of the book she wasn’t reading.

I want to make you moan like that again.

No confusion, no way to misinterpret, no pretense. Just a direct statement in bold black, each letter printed clearly and carefully so there could be no mistaking. This was what he wanted, and he wasn’t going to hide it anymore. Sometimes she wasn’t even sure if he’d been hiding before. It had just been easier to think he was, or to imagine it was all just some accident they’d stumbled into.

And suddenly she couldn’t do those things anymore.

He’d taken them away from her, and now all that was left was…

She didn’t know. She only knew that when she thought of it, that panic got worse, not better. There was no relief following his note, or sense that she could just give in to it all now. Instead, she found her hands were shaking. Her palms were sweaty when she picked up her pen.

And she didn’t write what she had thought she wanted to.

I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, she scribbled.

Though of course that didn’t put an end to anything.

He just scribbled back, as calm and casual about it as she’d been frantic.

Didn’t you enjoy it?

That’s beside the point.

I enjoyed it.

The first letter was blacker than all the rest, as though he’d pressed down hard enough to almost snap his pencil. She couldn’t fail to notice it.

Though she tried.

Guys always do.

Not like that they don’t.

How was it different?

It was the wrong question to ask. She knew it. He took the paper from her incredibly quickly, and the writing he did never seemed to end. It went on and on, so messily scribbled she wasn’t sure she’d be able to read it when it did come back to her.

She was wrong about that, too, however.

She read it loud and clear in five-foot neon letters.

No one has ever made me come with barely a stroke over my dick. I sprayed all over your ass and back like a fucking teenagerand it felt that way, too. It felt like I’d never had an orgasm before. I didn’t know it could be like that, like you’re bursting, like you can’t take one ounce more pleasure, and then after we do that shit my fucking legs are always like rubber. The first time, I was still shaking twenty goddamn minutes after you left. The second time it was an hour before I could think straight. I’m still not thinking straight, because all I want to do is watch you moan and buck for me just like you did on my bed.



It took her a long while to reply. So long that she could tell he was getting impatient, even though she was barely looking. She watched him surreptitiously, from underneath her lowered eyelids, yet still caught him folding and unfolding his arms. And she could hear him after a second, too, cracking his knuckles one after the other like he used to do when he was bored in class.

Only now she wondered if it was boredom at all.

Most likely it was frustration at having to hide who he really was.

The way she had to hide the heat rolling through her body, right now.

Please don’t write things like that.

You asked. I’m just being honest.

It makes it harder for me when you say this stuff.

Makes what harder?

Being your friend. Please. I just want to be your friend.

It wasn’t what she expected to write. The words just pushed out of her, as strange to her as they were to him. He immediately scribbled back why, and it was only after he had that it dawned on her.

Because when you stop being my friend my life turns into a living hell.