Fuck.
She had to look at the screen just to stop herself coming right then and therethough even those measures had an exciting quality of their own. James Spader was just doing something incredibly dull now, while she sat here watching through slitted eyelids, cheeks flushed and legs spread, as a man slowly fingered her slick, flushed pussy. Back and forth, back and forth, until she was so beside herself she wasn’t sure she even wanted to hold back her moans.
She only knew that she was still trying, for reasons that seemed vague and far away now. It just doesn’t matter, her mind hissed, but she kept it up anyway. She held herself more tightly and bit deep into her lipdeep enough that she tasted blood. And when he started to ease those fingers up, she shut her eyes tight. She thought of other things, more boring things: dry books and bird-watching.
All to no avail. He made one circle around her clit.
Just one tiny, insignificant circle, and that was it.
Her orgasm rolled up from that stiff little bud, in one all-consuming and all-powerful wave. It took away her control over her bodyher toes curled tight and her back arched. But most important, it took away her control over her mouth. It let one little word slip out.
Though one little word was more than enough.
“Tate,” she said, and after that the game was pretty much up. That was gratitude in her voice and pleasure in the sigh behind it, and all wrapped in the neat little bow of his name. There was no more pretending that it wasn’t him who had made her feel this way, or suggesting that all of this was just a game.
And he knew it immediately.
“Holy shit, holy shit,” he said, as though she’d cried out the filthiest thing on the face of the earth. And he didn’t stop there. She could hear him fumbling with the waistband of his sweatpants alreadythough she tried to turn it into something else in her head. He was just pulling them up, she thought. They had slid down as he serviced her, that was all.
Only it wasn’t all.
When she made the mistake of glancing his way, she saw so much more than she was ready for. It was supposed to be over now, completely over, but he’d shoved everything down to midthigh and his cock was in his hand again and god god god why was it so arousing? She’d had one orgasm already. He’d had one orgasm already, and now he was being so fucking filthy.
Yet somehow the filthiness only made it worse.
She came searingly close to telling him yes.
And go on.
And come all over mejust like she’d imagined.
For one wild second, it even seemed like he might. He was groaning and panting and he kept saying things, incredible things like do you see what you do to me do you get how fucking horny you make me oh fuck just hearing you moan my name. His hand was heavy on her shoulder, and she knew he was close. He was going to yank her top down any second now.
Any second, she thought.
Though she didn’t realize how much she wanted it until the first thick burst slid over his fist.
Didn’t know how little control she had over herself until he grunted her name and shuddered violently, that slick fluid easing over his still-pumping fist. After all, if she’d had any she would have stayed right where she was, content to just watch.
Instead of leaning forward to take that heavy, swollen, slippery head in her mouth, to catch the last ribbons of his salt-sweet come all over her eager tongue.
Chapter 14
The first she thing she wanted to do when she saw Lydia the next morning in the cafeteria was confess. But that was the whole problem: it felt like confessing, rather than just plain old telling. As if she had committed a terrible crime, and once it was out her beautiful, bright, funny, awesome friend would have to demote her to casual acquaintance or even mortal enemy. At the very least, Lydia was going to find her insufferably stupid. There was nothing clever about letting your high school bully come in your mouth.
Or rub you between your legs.
Or make you feel so good you still had an echo of that pleasure thrumming through your body the next day. She took her seat at the cafeteria table and got a sudden flash of it all behind her eyes. The way he had looked when he came; the feel of him all slick and hard in her mouth. And though her first response was to squeeze her eyes shut and wince, her second was more like a sort of melting.
It was intolerable. Her body was actively defying her good sense.
And there was just no way of explaining that to Lydia. Lydia made wise choices when it came to men. In fact, the first thing she said once they were settled was about Brad Gunderson. Tall, kind, clever Brad Gunderson, who got his picture in the college newspaper after organizing a soup kitchen for the homeless.
“He did a twenty-mile run to raise money for cancer awareness you know,” Lydia said.