Never Been Loved(94)

Be okay with this kid. You have to be.

“Does that mean Sera is my mommy now?”

Shit. Really? Can’t I get a breather?

The juice is starting to work and I’m firing on all engines. Okay, what the hell do I say now? And then Sera, fucking awesome Sera, opens her mouth and makes the world perfect again. “How about we say that I’m your daddy’s girlfriend for now, okay, little man?”

I keep my mouth shut. Sera just saved my ass.

She keeps driving, but her hand’s fiddling with the radio knob and we hit Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar on Me” and the kid starts howling away like it’s him giving the performance.

I’ve been spaced out until I notice Sera’s double-parked and we’re on the side of the road. She’s looking at me with… acceptance.

Sera doesn’t look at me like I’m weak for not controlling my sugars, and she sure as shit doesn’t look at me like she’s disgusted.

Then she grabs my hand and holds it in her lap, stroking my damaged fingertips.

I’m done for.

Absolutely.

“You feeling better?” she asks.

I don’t know what to do. She’s cracked me open wide and is holding my beating heart with her delicate hands. Fuck, she could ruin me.

“Still think I’m amazing?” I ask her, my voice completely hoarse.

I’m probably grinding her bones together with my grip, but she doesn’t say anything. I’m desperate to hear what she says. I’m sick to my stomach with the sliver of hope that she’s going to say yes.

Christ, she’s leaning closer and that has to mean she’s trying to let me down easy. But she’s grinning and I don’t think it’s for me.

“I don’t kiss losers,” she whispers, leaning into me so that our mouths are touching. “I kiss only badasses. And you are a badass, Hunter MacLaine.”

Yup, you’re a dead man.

“Gross!” Matty yells from the back. “You’re hurting my eyes, my eyes!”

Sera leans back smiling, turns the car off, takes off her seat belt.

“You’re hurting my ears with all your yelling, Matty.” Sera twists around and the kid shrieks with laughter as she tickles him. “Do you want me to be Daddy’s girlfriend or not, huh?”

I’ve stopped breathing. Pretty sure she has, too.

“Only if you read me Harry Potter from here until forever.”

I exhale. Sera smiles.

“I can do that. It’s a promise.”

She gets out, only to round the car and open Matty’s door. I turn to get out, too, but watch her over the seat as she blows a raspberry on his face and the kid is eating it up. When she’s done, she asks him, “See you later for Harry’s adventure?”

“Bye, Sera! Have fun at school!”

Ha. Jules’ kid is pretty hilarious sometimes.

I get out and get behind my girl, watching her step backwards and Christ, her ass is killing me. Damn it.

When she turns, I’ve got my hands on her waist. There’s a split second when I think she’s waiting for me to do something, but she breathes out slowly when I don’t do what she thinks.

Instead my thumbs start moving on her shirt, up and down, when I would fucking kill to get my hands on her bare skin. Cars honk as they pass us by and Sera seems completely clueless.

They want what I have in my hands right now.

She doesn’t even know it.

“Sera...” I growl, trying to make her understand. The thing is, it’s not hard to say the words, it’s not hard to tell someone you care, in theory. But in reality? When shit doesn’t go right half the time and when you have a woman like Sera looking up at you like you’re amazing when you’re anything but?

You have to do what you can to protect yourself.

I can’t stop pulling her closer so that her cheek’s on my chest. I dip my head so my mouth’s connected to her forehead and for some crazy reason, it all feels right.

“Hunt? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, baby.” I wish I could be more for her. I wish I was better for her. “I’m fine. My girl thinks I’m amazing. How much more okay can I be?”

Her arms tighten around me for a second.

“I’m sorry that I have to go in now. But call me anytime today, and I can talk. I promise.” She leans back to look at me, and I stare back, getting lost in my pity-party.

Maybe I should just let her go, give away my last chance of good that I’m ever going to get.

“Sure, Sera.”

She doesn’t say anything but wraps me up in a tight hug and stares at me, her lower lip jutting out a little and I have to force myself to not kiss her.

There’s a pinch between her eyebrows, and her lips tighten up, losing their pink glow.