She doesn’t believe anything I say sometimes. I just have to make her believe it. Sera gets up from the bed, helping Matty stand up and carries him into the hallway.
She stops moving once Matty’s light is off and I take the opportunity to plant my hands at her hips guiding her down the hall and into my room.
She gets a glimpse of The Wall. Coming to her side, I see her mouth’s popped open and she even wows it.
I never thought I was particularly talented, I just really enjoyed drawing, getting the lines on paper, controlling where they had to go, who they had to be, molding them into what I wanted them to do.
“They’re... they’re beautiful,” she practically whispers, her head moving left, right, up and down to get it all in.
I have another stroke of genius and move to my dresser, open and close some drawers until I find a shirt that’s suitable for her to sleep in.
The “There you are, Sera,” from Matty has me closing one of my drawers harder than needed. She’s going to see that picture of her I did from memory and she might laugh, she might run screaming from me, think I’m a freak for drawing it.
“Here.” I touch her shoulder and as she turns, I hold out a pair of my old sweats and a shirt that she can sleep in. I half-expect her to bolt. There’s a part of Sera that’s afraid of me. I still don’t know why, but that fear is sure shit going to keep me in line tonight, no matter how much I want to kiss her.
“Trade off,” she says, giving me Matty while I hand her the clothes. She moves to the bathroom to get changed. The thought of her being naked on the other side of that door has me swallowing hard, and having a serious mental conversation with Little Me in order to keep everything in check.
I get both Matty and me into bed, turning down a corner for her, and tell Sera to close the light once she’s inside.
She gets into my sheets and it’s all I can do not to howl. Pretty sure she can tell I’m grinning. Matty’s pressed up against my front, stuck between me and Sera. We stare at each other in the darkness and I say the words in my head that I’m too chicken to say out loud.
You’re the amazing one, Sera. You have no idea what you’ve done for me and the kid. What it means. You’re so bright, there’s no one that can compare.
Maybe you should stick to drawing and not try the metaphors so much there, Shakespeare.
“He’s finally asleep,” I tell her. Now’s not the best time for a conversation, but I need her to know, to know what she’s done.
“You should be, too. It’s been a long night.”
I’m not tired. I’m not tired at all. She’s here, in my bed, and everything is fucking awesome.
“I’m sorry I’m not sorry that I said those things to Alysha. Is that how it is between you two?”
Damn it. Do we have to talk about this? The kid’s unconscious, and explaining it to Sera is overdue. Just, tell her the truth. If she’s who you think she is, she’s not going to judge you on what you did.
“Aly and I have been off and on forever. I was with her when I was a kid, and she was the first person I told when I learned I had diabetes. I was seventeen at the time, and thought I was in love. She thought she could fuck me through it.”
A weird as hell sound comes out of Sera, and I’m grinning again in the dark.
“Yeah, baby. Aly’s M.O. is all about her and what she can get out of it. She doesn’t deal with my lows or my highs, or with Matty. She doesn’t deal with anything but her need to come.”
Maybe I just embarrassed her. Maybe I’m going to get a fist in the face.
“Is that why she came to see you tonight? To get her fix?”
Exactly. “She just needed reminding it was over. That I’m not going to answer to her beck and call ever again, no matter how much manipulating she does.”
She’s probably blushing. C’mon eyes, start working better. “I don’t think you should be telling me this when Matty’s asleep between us, and we’re in your bed. I’m sure that’s not good parenting.”
“I really wish I could kiss you right now.” She’s holding her breath. “But you’re going to turn me down, again. I can hear it, those wheels spinning in your head. You don’t think I’m good enough. S’all right, I’ve got my dreams.”
She gets the air she needs. “Thank you for taking me to the hospital, and thank you for hanging out with me. You didn’t have to, but you did. So, thanks.”
“I figure we’re on even footing now. One trip to the hospital each.” We’re equals, damn it. It’s my turn to take care of you.