“Try. For me.” Please, Sera. Try. I’m not the best of the best, but I’ll treat you like you are.
“Okay.”
I kiss the top of her head. That’s all I can ask for, a meagre promise that she probably can’t keep. I make myself believe it, anyway.
“Thank you. Close your eyes, I’ll wake you when they call you.”
“Okay.”
I feel her relax under my arm and settle deeper onto me. There’s a lot of shit going on in my head right now. I keep reliving the whole Tommy shooting his mouth off back at Alex’s place and how I couldn’t do anything. I might’ve as well been chained to the floor. I was completely and utterly useless.
If I’m going to be with Sera, if I’m going to be the man she deserves, I’m going to need to fix a few things; hell, more than a few.
I’m going to need to get stronger – not physically – but mentally. I can’t be so exhausted all the fucking time. Sera deserves time and attention and everything in between. She deserves me at my best and that’s definitely fucking not when my sugars are out of control.
I’m going to have to eat more regularly and I can’t skip meals. I need to revamp my entire diet and really pay attention to the first warning signs my body gives me when I spike or drop.
I need to start being with Matty more, trying to teach him how to deal with all this diabetes shit better. Our code word right now is tired, but the difference between a low and a high have to be explained to him – sometime soon.
I don’t think normal guys overthink this much when it comes to a woman.
They usually see something they like, tag it, go on a few dates, and bang. I haven’t had friends in a long time. Eddie’s my friend, I guess, but he’s more like a father. What the fuck, I work all day, pick up Matty from daycare, try and get some food ready when we get home, and try to listen to him telling me how his day went.
I used to be fascinated about whatever he would tell me. I’ve gotten old too fast. I have no more patience, I’m exhausted all the time. I can’t deal with extra stressors that what I’ve already got in my life right now.
The load’s too heavy to bear and I’m barely treading water out in the middle of the ocean of my problems. And then Sera shows up, like a damn life raft, pulling me to safety.
If I believed in God and in angels, I would think maybe that Jules brought Sera to me. That she somehow conned her way into meeting the Big Man upstairs and pled my case.
Yeah, if I believed, I could get behind the idea that Jules sent me Sera. She picked her own replacement, and she picked the best. I just need to not screw this up.
Chapter 21
I’m thinking I can get Sera to sleep over tonight. In my bed, with me, and not the kid. I’m a grown man, I can keep it in my pants, ‘cause Sera’s not ready. Maybe I need to win a triathlon or some shit and she’ll let me kiss her.
I’ll start training tomorrow.
Her hand is broken. Broken. I really need to teach her how to throw a punch – she could even come to my gym and we could train together. Yeah, no, that wouldn’t work. Coach would kill me if I brought a woman there, especially watching me spar. I wouldn’t be able to concentrate. Not when I love to see all the expressions on her face and try to figure out what she’s thinking.
I park in the underground parking lot and open Sera’s door without waking her abruptly. I put a hand on her shoulder and try to gently wake her. Fuck, she looks so undeniably cute, face pressed against the seat.
To kiss her is becoming a compulsion. I try to keep my distance.
“C’mon, baby. Get out of the car for me.” She starts rubbing her eyes, drops her hands and falls back asleep. “Sera...”
She nods, rubs her eyes again and gets her legs out of the car. She opens tired eyes and blinks at the harsh light. I make a grab for the hand without a fucking cast, and pull her to her feet, while her eyes slide closed again. I move her away from the car and shut the door behind her.
I move to get Matty out of the car, unstrapping him from the seat, but the kid’s arms and legs are dead weights and I’m struggling with it. When I finally get him out, closing the door behind me, I want to roar with all the bullshit that has come my way today.
“Hunter, baby?” Aly’s voice. Aly’s here. In front of Sera, Matty and me, in the underground parking lot of my fucking building, and she’s looking at me like she wants me to make Sera and Matty go away.
Fuck. That.
Two steps ahead of me, Sera’s spine gets rigid, and her whole body stiffens up. She clenches her hands into fists, then turns back to me. “Here, Hunt. Give me Matty and come to bed when you’re done.”