Never Been Loved(70)

Just answer her like a normal dude would.

“Are you pissed because you messed up? Or is it because I kissed you and you lost your concentration?” I gamble, and slowly move my hand so it’s resting on the side of her face. She freezes in my gentle grip, but I can tell she’s not going to give up.

“They’re one and the same, Hunt.”

“No, baby, they’re not and you know it.” Christ, I can’t stop touching her, touching her cheek, trailing my thumb along the bone. Her smell is driving me fucking insane. “We’re going to take it slow, as slow as you want to go. I don’t want you running.”

Good man, lay it all out there. Let’s see what happens next. Who wants popcorn?

“What will I run from? What’s so bad about you?” she asks, and the words feel like their bullet holes punched through my chest. She’s going to find out, but later. Much later.

I freeze, pulling in a deep breath. “I’m screwed up, just like everybody else. I have demons, just like everybody else. But I’m going to show you the good, Sera, so when we get to the bad, you’ll stay – because you want to.”

“You’re kinda freaking me out. This isn’t normal dating behaviour.”

“Am I normal?”

I’m expecting her to give me the truth, the actual truth of what she thinks of me, but her hands have somehow hit my scalp and it’s fucking doing things to my body, mainly making me lose my head.

“Well, yeah. I don’t see horns sprouting out of your head, and your chompers don’t have any sharp edges to suck my blood with. Unless you’re a werewolf?”

“I like how you make me laugh when I’m trying to be serious.” I don’t understand women. I can’t help smiling and kiss her cheek for it.

“I like making people laugh. Still, I don’t know why you’re telling me this up front. Or why you want to date me. What about Alysha?”

“I’ll deal with Aly. She and I were over last month, my mom just doesn’t know it yet,” I bite out, trying to calm myself down. No one’s going to ruin this for me. No one.

“All you need to worry about is you and me. I don’t lie, Sera, but you don’t know that much about me to get that. You’ll learn, soon enough. I don’t cheat; my asshole father did enough of that. I don’t do drugs, or drink out of hand – I have Matty to look after.”

I’m not good enough for you, baby. Please, take a chance on me.

“I’m stubborn, you’ll get that soon enough. I have demons, too, which isn’t a surprise. So, I’m asking you to take this slow with me, to see where this goes. If it ends badly, I... I want us to be friends. I can be your friend, Hunt. I’m a good friend.”

I couldn’t be able to look at her and think of her as my friend. That wouldn’t work for us. It’s all or nothing, and you’ve gambled on everything.

“I haven’t had a friend in a long time, baby. I might have forgotten how to be one.” Yeah, maybe I shouldn’t’ve said that. Now I sound needy.

Sera nods, like she gets it. “Like riding a bike, or swimming. You know how to do it. As a friend, wanna come over to my buddy’s housewarming on Saturday? Um, we can bring Matty along, but he might get bored-”

“No. I’ll make arrangements.”

Yes! I resist the urge to raise my first in the air. I need to win Sera over. The kid’s way ahead of me on that one. I move, without consultation from my brain, to land a kiss on her cheek, pushing my luck and placing it closer to the corner of her mouth. I don’t know how I do it without devouring her.

This all needs to be for her, not you. This is going to be painful.

“That was the last one, I swear. From now on, you call the shots. You want my arm off you?”

“I-I kind of like it where it is,” she whispers. I keep my arm right where it is and grin at the screen. Fucking right.

“I taped The Outsiders for you, if you want to watch that.”

Feeling her move, I look down at a surprised look on her face. “How the frak did you know I love The Outsiders?”

Oh, yeah, that. “Your shirt, ‘My heart belongs to Ponyboy Curtis’. I looked it up. Didn’t think I could be jealous of a guy in a book. But I was.”

Pathetic, that I thought I could take on a fictional character. Not so pathetic when I catch the look on her face for recording a movie that she might own.

And if I feel like I can tear down brick walls with my bare hands, and uniquely take on a gang of thirty rough-and-tough assholes without feeling my sugar drop for an instant, well, I’ve found my new drug of choice. Her name is Sera.