Never Been Loved(42)

To kiss her is becoming a compulsion. I try to keep my distance.

"C'mon, baby. Get out of the car for me." She starts rubbing her eyes, drops her hands and falls back asleep. "Sera..."

She nods, rubs her eyes again and gets her legs out of the car. She  opens tired eyes and blinks at the harsh light. I make a grab for the  hand without a fucking cast, and pull her to her feet, while her eyes  slide closed again. I move her away from the car and shut the door  behind her.

I move to get Matty out of the car, unstrapping him from the seat, but  the kid's arms and legs are dead weights and I'm struggling with it.  When I finally get him out, closing the door behind me, I want to roar  with all the bullshit that has come my way today.

"Hunter, baby?" Aly's voice. Aly's here. In front of Sera, Matty and me,  in the underground parking lot of my fucking building, and she's  looking at me like she wants me to make Sera and Matty go away.

Fuck. That.

Two steps ahead of me, Sera's spine gets rigid, and her whole body  stiffens up. She clenches her hands into fists, then turns back to me.  "Here, Hunt. Give me Matty and come to bed when you're done."

Yeah, baby! Sera just fucking made my night. And I get her later. Amen.  It's about time shit starts going my way. Pride lights up the inside of  my chest like a sick firework display.

Sera gets a hold of Matty, reaching out her good hand for the keys. I  give them to her, hoping Aly is seeing this. Even though I told her it  was over, she's still showing up here. What the fuck? Sera doesn't look  back as she heads for the basement elevators.

I never would've trusted Aly with Matty like that. She doesn't know one  thing about taking care of another person, she knows about money and  always getting what she wants. Real life doesn't work like that.

I should know.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, folding my arms. I'm too tired for  this shit. I want a shower, I want a bed, and I want Sera next to me.

Aly's got that smile on her face, the one that says she's got me, but  she has no fucking clue. She tilts her head, and the smile gets wider. I  want to throw up.

"Baby, I've missed you. I've missed you so much." She's stalking closer  to me now, rocking her hips, her heels making annoying sounds in the  abandoned parking lot. I'm too tired for this shit.

"Yeah? Well, I didn't miss you." Christ, I'm in kindergarten. What kind  of comeback was that? Nothing but the God's honest truth. "I don't want  you here, I don't need you here. Go home, Aly."

She takes a step closer to me and I back up one. If she touches me, I'm  going to do something I'm going to regret. I'll man-handle her out of  here and then feel like a tool for doing it.

"I don't want to go home. I want to go upstairs, and I want you to make me scream your name."

What once used to make my blood boil and my dick throb just doesn't  anymore. I can't be that guy anymore, I need to grow the fuck up.

Sera's waiting for me upstairs. It's time I get moving.

"Bye, Aly. Don't come here again."

"I'm going to speak to your mom, Hunter. I will, don't think I won't."

"Listen to me, and listen good," I stalk closer to her but she doesn't  put a hand on me. Where was that girl I used to be friends with? Where  did she go? "I don't want you, you get it? I don't want you."         

     



 

Aly smiles that dirty smile again, the kind she used to give me while  sucking me off. "Hunter, baby, if that were true then why are we having  this conversation? Do you want me to beg for it? I'll beg, baby. You  know how much you like me on my knees."

It's just a visual. Get the fuck over it.

I shake my head, backing away. I know the code for the door to the  basement elevators and Aly does not. She's going to chase me if I make a  run for it. Christ, I have to make a run for it like I'm a rat caught  in a maze with seconds left before the buzzer to pain goes off. This is  such bullshit.

I can't hit her; I won't hit her.

"Fucking shit, Aly, you're disgusting." She's not, she's not disgusting.  She's the only one that would have me, and she's the first person who  knew about my diabetes. Even if she didn't understand, even if she's not  like Sera, I can't erase that, I can't make it go away like it never  happened. "That woman up there, that woman with my  – Jules' kid, she's  waiting for me."

"So what? You know I don't mind sharing." She stretches her arms over  her head so I get a slice of skin between her shirt and leather pants.  "Besides, how long do you think she's going to stick around, baby? The  sex isn't that spectacular to have her carrying juice boxes around, not  with just you, but the two of you."

I'm going to punch my own lights out I'm so pissed. "I don't want you  and I don't want to be a part of this anymore. Don't come here again.  You'll be sorry the next time, I promise you." I put as much of the  threat into my voice as possible.

Aly's phone beeps, and she looks down at it, swiping to get to the text.  She grins in that way she does when she's gotten whatever she wanted  and winks at me when she catches me staring.

"Looks like you're off the hook tonight, Hunter. I'll be seeing you."  She walks towards the garage door, and the sensor opens it for her, all  open sesame.

I shake my head at her stupidity and move towards the basement  elevators, getting antsy when the doors take too long to close, just  like always. Six floors up seems to take forever.

I'm not sure how I'm going to handle this. Keep Sera at her word, or let  her call the shots? Don't push too hard. She knows exactly what she's  getting with you. She can always bounce and leave you behind, choking on  her dust.

Sera opens the door for me after I knock and I hope to God she checked  the peephole. I move inside once the door is open, and feel that  familiar fuzziness around the edges of my vision. Damn it, I'm going to  need a sugar tablet or something.

Fuck, why can't I ever be at a hundred percent around her?

"Do you want something to eat? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich,  maybe?" she asks, moving into my kitchen, ready to get me food for the  second time today.

Can't you just look at me like I'm normal for once? I'm dying to kiss you, Sera. Fuck the juice and fuck the food. I want you.

"No, it's fine. I'm just going to have another juice," I say, my voice  gone hoarse. I'm sick of being treated like an invalid, like everyone  might just need to walk on eggshells around me, even if I deserve it.  I've been drowning for the past ten years, and I need someone to help  me.

I just don't want it to be Sera, I don't want her to be my caretaker. I  want us to be equals. We need to be equals in this, even if I'm not ever  at a hundred percent.

"I was just putting Matty to bed, then I'll get out of your way," she  says without waiting for me to say anything. Before I can open my trap,  she's turned into Matty's room, and from my vantage point, she's getting  his pjs on him. Jules should be doing that. Damn it, Jules should be  here, and Sera wouldn't have to deal with the two of us.

I move to my bedroom, ignore the drawings I've been working on scattered  all over the bed. I'm lazy when it comes to putting them up, and only a  few make the wall. Better to hide these, anyway, Sera doesn't need to  see these, and I don't need her asking questions. Not tonight.

I change into sweats and throw my shirt across the room into my laundry  basket, scoring a three pointer from this distance. There's no one  around to high-five. I hear Matty and Sera having a hushed conversation,  with Matty's voice getting higher and higher, freaking out. Then I hear  the tears and I move to the hall to get into Matty's room.

Sera calls out for me, and in the room, I see Matty holding on to Sera so tight, he might break apart.

"Hospitals are scary," he says. "People go away in hospitals." I hear it  all. God, why does he hate hospitals so much? I'm never letting him  watch TV again.         

     



 

"I just broke my hand, kiddo. Nothing happened to me. And your daddy's right here, look. C'mon Matty, let go so you can see."

Matty moves his head out of Sera's neck and turns to look at me. He  looks back to her, and sniffs, putting his head back into her neck and  shoulder. "I'm scared, Sera. I don't want to go to the hospital and go  away." Even I heard that. Shit.

"No one said you're going to go away. I'm not going to let you," Sera  tells him like it's a promise. She leans back and Matty lets her go,  until they both look at each other like it's the last time.

"Can you sleep with me tonight? No reading, I promise!" he asks in a  rush, and I'm a complete spectator to what's happening between the two  of them. It's not hard to see that Matty loves Sera  –  he really does.  That's why I can't ruin this. I can't.

"I don't think that's a good idea, little man," Sera says, and Matty's  voice rises up to a little-screech, and he practically whimpers. I stay  where I am, struck stupid.