Never Been Kissed(79)

My entire life I’ve been verbally abused – told I was less than nothing, and I believed it.

“Of course he loves you, little man. Who wouldn’t? All my friends love you, too. That’s more people than you have fingers on one hand! Do you know how special that is?” I’m saying the words, but he’s not listening. He hears them alright, since he’s nodding at me, but they aren’t sinking in, they aren’t becoming a part of the little boy he’ll grow up to be.

I need to fix this.

“C’mon, let’s get you to daycare.” I pick him up, and grateful that Hunter has unlocked the doors for us, get him in his car seat and ready to go. I put my purse in the passenger seat and walk out to meet Hunter who’s still pacing.

I step in front of him and block his path. His whole body shudders to a stop, like an engine that sputters until its death. I shouldn’t be thinking about death.

“Let’s get going,” I say, voice low and soothing as much as I can make it.

Hunter just shakes his head, and jams his fists into his pockets, rocking back on his heels. “Sera, he could have died. God, he could have died.” His big body shakes, and I move closer to wrap my arms around his waist, inserting myself between his arms and his ribs. “He’s all I have left, and he could have died.”

“But he didn’t. You saved him, Superman. You were incredible, you really were. I’m sorry I couldn’t move. I’ve never reacted that way before.” I listen to the beating of his heart underneath my ear, and wait for his arms to wrap around me.

“He’s my responsibility. You shouldn’t need to do anything for him.”

Oh, frak, I don’t like that. I lean back to look at him, push as far back as I can with his hands twined together at the small of my back.

“I want to help. Jesus, Hunt, I’d do anything for that kid. I love him.” There, I said it.

“Why?”

“Why, what? Why do I love him?”

“Yeah. Why?”

I frown. “Are you serious? Have you met him? He’s like sunshine and chocolate and Peter Pan and all the good things in the world. He’s pure and he’s bright like a star. He’s sweet and kind and knows a little too much of how his diabetes affects him and we’re going to need to change that.” I plant both palms on his pecs, feel the drum of his heart beneath my fingertips.

A cruel smile twists Hunt’s lips. “Still think I’m amazing that I nearly lost Matty today?”

My eyebrows drop down low and I shake my head. “Amazing doesn’t mean infallible. Remember that. Now, come on. I need to get to work, and Matty needs to get to daycare. God, I could sleep for two weeks after what just happened. Adrenaline. Crash.”

Hunter’s quiet for some time, then he leans closer to me.

“Wait, what are you doing?” My hands go to his chest to stop him from moving forward. Nerves explode i[]n my belly, tension tightening all my muscles.

“I need to kiss you, alright?”

“Uh, in front of Matty? You sure that’s a good idea? God, he’s going to need so much therapy after this.”

“Sera, I want to kiss you. I need it. Matty is going to see us kissing, like normal couples do. Please, just kiss me. Make me forget the last twenty minutes.”

Hunter has a way with words. Good to know. I lean up, using his chest as leverage. When our mouths meet, it isn’t the lightest brushing of lips, or us getting accustomed to the feel of the other. No, Hunter’s mouth on mine is hard and demanding, beautiful and luscious.

My hands reach up for either side of his neck, going into his hair and getting the tickles from his skull-trim along my palms. Hunter lifts me – lifts me up – clear off the floor so that our heights aren’t any different, and I kiss him for all I’m worth.

I didn’t know so many emotions could change a kiss. A kiss can be desperate, it can be a seduction, even an angry proclamation of dislike. Ours is desperate but the kind of desperation of not having enough time with each other for the moment. Ours is seductive the way our tongues stroke each other, and the way he licks at me, and nips at my lips coaxing me to give him everything he wants. Ours is angry because instead of just giving, I take, too, and right now, Hunter needs to be in control.

Letting go of his bottom lip, my feet drop down to the ground and I have to stand there, swaying, using him as support before I can collect myself and go back to the car.

“Have dinner with me tonight.”

“Can’t. Plans with Katie,” I pant. “I’ll come over and read Matty to bed and kiss you good night.”

“Deal,” he grins and kisses the tip of my nose. “Shit. I think I need a juice.”