Never Been Kissed(61)

Katie, Alex and Eli all join in, a cacophony of what-the-fucks, asshole, and go-fuck-yourself.

I look at Hunter and feel like I’ve swallowed razors, while a donkey has kicked me in the gut repeatedly. His blue eyes have darkened, and while his face appears calm and stoic, like a true hero, his eyes are telling a different story. They’re telling me that he can’t protect me because he needs food, because his body needs sugar.

I move toward him, taking the plate and the fork in my free hand, using my awesome skills of balance and grace (not!) to get him onto the couch in the living room, not giving a fraking FUCK if we ruin Alex’s carpet if I drop some food.

“Why did you even drive if you weren’t feeling well?” I growl, arranging his legs so the plate is on his thighs. I’m angry, and he’s not in the frame of mind to take it. But fuck, what if something happened to him? What would I do? What would Matty do? No, but really, what would I do? To be given a chance with someone who seems so wonderful, only for it to be snatched away?

“Eat. Now.” I order, ignoring the shouts. The boys and Katie are still yelling at Tommy. I catch Katie looking at me and I point to the balcony door. She ushers everyone out, closing the patio door behind them.

I let out a breath, trying to settle my shaking organs by breathing in through my nose. Funny how my body goes from relaxed to DEFCON 1 when he’s feeling low.

Hunter continues to frown at his plate, glaring at the meat and veggies like they’ve personally done him harm and he’s thinking on his revenge.

“Would you eat, please? Hunter?”

His big hand is wrapped around the plastic fork, his scowl still in place.

“Eat first, and then you can cuss me out, if you want. Right now, I really need you to eat. Please,” I beg. I’m not above begging. I wish I had his glucometer with me. I should’ve just asked for it and put it in my purse.

His body relaxes into the couch, and he stuffs food in his mouth as fast as he can. I count up to ten minutes when the patio door opens and Josh comes to sit next to me.

“I’m sorry, man. Fucking Tommy’s a dick on normal days, he saves the side of egocentric asshole for when we have company,” Josh says, staring into his beer, elbows on his knees. “Is there anything you guys need in here?”

“Nah. We’re good, buddy, thanks. Actually, Josh? Do you mind giving us another fifteen minutes? I...I don’t think I want to talk to anybody just yet.” Yes, pull out the introverted nerd card and everyone will follow your suggestions.

Josh gives me a nod, another kiss on the cheek and the patio door closes. I turn my attention back to Hunter and watch him eat. He’s demolished all the greens and is still chewing on the beef; his apple juice is gone.

“Feeling better?”

Hunter sighs, and leans back into the couch, legs splayed out in front of him. He keeps the plate on his thigh, but leaves the fork in it, eating the beef with his fingers. His eyes are at half-mast and I can’t tell why he’s looking at me like that.

“I couldn’t tell him to shut his fucking mouth. That’s me as your friend, Sera. I can’t even tell a guy who’s saying inappropriate things to shut the fuck up or I’ll beat his face in. Because I can’t do that, not when my sugars are low, or high. I’m only okay seventy percent of the time. Do you really want that as a friend?”

I shake my head, shoving hair behind my ears hard enough that I scrape the skin from behind my ear with my nails. Frak.

“You’re pissing me off. One fraking second, you’re all like, ‘yeah baby, give me that mouth’ and now you don’t even want to be my friend? Stop being an asshole, MacLaine! Decide what you fraking want, and stop playing goddamn games!”

His face gets tight, mouth set in a snarl, eyes blazing. My heart beats faster, and I can’t seem to look away from his mouth. In another time, another place – that look would have meant something to a primitive female, would have readied her for what was to come.

I’m blindsided.

“I’m trying to take it slow – for you. I’m beating myself every fucking day – for you, because you deserve better, because you deserve more than half a man. But I’m too damn selfish. I want those nerdy shirts, to see you put them on every morning. I want you there every single night, reading Matty to sleep, waiting for you to crawl into bed with me. I want your voice in my apartment, I want your geeky posters on my wall, and your body in my bed. Is that real enough for you?” Hunter heaves in air, and with his nostrils flared and his body in that relaxed pose on the couch – he’s absolutely magnificent.