“This is true.” I gulp down more coffee, ignoring his suggestion. I just can’t have Hunter, alone with me, in my apartment. I might do something that I really, really want to do. Subject change!
I’m now wondering how Matty is doing, if he’s okay with the Duchess and if his sugars have levelled out. “Can you call to see if Matty’s okay?”
Hunt’s eyes soften, the tension bleeding out of his shoulders and relaxing. Something makes me think that Alysha wasn’t very nice to Matty. Another reason to Karate Kid her skinny ass.
“I was going to call in a bit, but if you really want to know-” He dials up the number, puts the phone to his ear while watching me. “Hey Mom. Put Matty on the phone, please. Yeah, I’ll talk to you later, but I want to speak to the kid. Yeah. Have a good night, then.” A pause, then, “Hey, little man. Did you get a shower?” Pause. “Good. Are you watching a movie? Which one? Ah, kid, again?” Babbling from the other end. “Alright. We’ll see you soon, okay. Yeah, love you, too. Sera says hi. Alright, I’ll tell her. Bye, buddy.”
I’m grinning like a fool, having listened to that conversation. How did I ever think Hunter was an asshole to his kid?
“Ready to go?” I nod, fishing for my wallet in my purse. Hunter gives me a Terminator look that probably means cease and desist. I do neither of these things.
“I’m going to pay for what I ate. We’re friends. Friends share the bill. It’s a proven fact. You don’t mess with fact, Hunt.”
His eyes get lazy when I use his nickname, like I’m stroking a puppy and he loves the feel of my hands on his back. “Not if one friend decided to treat the other one, for you know, looking after him twice, and getting him to the hospital that one time?”
“I... uh...” Shit.“ You can’t use that bloody trick forever!” I shove my wallet into my bag again, letting him do what he wants. “Next time, it’s on me. Got it?”
“Sure.” He might as well have said never for all the good it does.
As we leave the restaurant, Hunter grabs my hand again, tugging me along with him until we stride beside one another back to his car.
“You have gone out of friend territory. Please turn back at the slightest convenience,” I say using my GPS voice.
I get a squeeze along my fingers, Hunter’s palm getting tighter to mine.
“Who said I ever wanted to be friends?”
“I did. I’m pretty sure I did. Yes, I did.” I nod like he should understand what I’m saying. “I can’t be with you... like that.”
“What’ll it take to convince you, then?” He opens the passenger door and shuffles me into the seat once we get to his car. He’s leaning too close, way too close to me. He’s my world again.
I don’t want to want, but I fraking do.
“A kiss?” Hunter stares at my mouth and I swear my lips start itching, tingling.
If this was that cracked universe where him and I get together, I would lean forward about now, having him step back a few steps so I could be standing right in his space. I’d relish his body heat and put my hands to his ribs, under the hoodie.
I would smell the way his detergent mixes with his cologne and the smell of insulin, I would pull it deep in my lungs. I would let my hands trail up onto his pecs, maybe even graze his nipples and the piercings he has there, and up, up, up to his neck letting my hands get used to the warmth there.
I’d hear his breath get heavy, fast. Maybe he’d even put his hands on the small of my back, fingers slightly hitting the globes of my ass – just enough of a suggestion that I’d beg for him to touch me there. Or maybe they would clench at my hips, and every little thing I did that he liked would cause his hands to tighten around them, pulling me closer to his big body.
And then, I’d scrape my palms along his skull-trim, and bring his head closer to mine. Slowly, so slowly that I’m going to die if I don’t get to taste him soon. There. Lips connect, touch, and go back to our respective spaces only to collide once more, again and again. I’d flick my tongue out, trace his bottom lip, get him to open for me and get his taste. I’d become drunk with it, delirious with the pleasure of it.
So, the answer’s simple, just really hard to say. I’m not that person, and this is real life. “No.”
In the thirty-minute drive to Hunt’s mom’s house I’ve contemplated opening the door and throwing myself onto the highway five times. Five. Times. I can’t stand the quiet, and the way the silence wraps around me, and makes me think of what could have been. What his kiss would’ve felt like, what it would be like to finally, finally have my first kiss.