Never Be Tamed (Impossible Love #6)(11)

It reminded me of something I hadn't thought about in a long time. When Ben and I were little, Dad would always take him outside and do "guy stuff." Throw a ball around, mess with golf clubs, anything that had to do with sports, really. I always followed along, and Dad would indulge me as long as Ben was there. I never wanted our time together to end, and as Dad would try to wrap it up, I'd say, "Not yet, Daddy. Not yet." Usually followed by "One more, Daddy. One more." One more pitch of the ball, or push on the swing, one more race down our street. It was one of the only times I didn't feel so lonely as a kid.

That's what this dinner felt like to me. I didn't want it to end. I didn't want the loneliness to seep back in. I wanted to scream, "Not yet, just one more. One more."

I couldn't meet Michael's eyes because I knew they'd pull me in and make it even harder for me to say goodnight. And by the end of the evening, I'd put on and taken off my mask so many times I was exhausted. Not that my efforts mattered anyway, because he could see right through it all.

"Jenna," he said softly.

"Yeah?" I answered. We had already walked to the door and I was looking for something, anything, to fidget with so I wouldn't have to face him.

Michael wasn't having it.

"Jenna," he said with more force this time. "Look at me."

I flashed my gaze up to him and then back down, quickly.

It wasn't enough for him. He placed a finger under my chin and tipped my face up to his so I had no choice this time. His eyes were soft, but intense. Not quite black as they were before, but they were dilated, and his lids were slightly hooded. It made me wonder what my eyes looked like to him in the moment. Were they giving me away? Could he see that he had broken through the wall that not many people had? Did he know how desperately I wanted him to stay? Could he tell I needed his touch?

Did he know he was dealing with a completely sex-starved, socially awkward, recluse?

The corner of his mouth quirked up just then, and I thought yes, maybe he did know.

"Thank you for dinner," he said as my eyes tore away from his and focused on his mouth. He licked his bottom lip, and the flickers flashed in my stomach again. Sparks working toward a flame.



       
         
       
        

I nodded, unable to find my words when he was invading my space.

His lips moved closer to my face, and I swallowed, bracing myself.

My throat went try. My hands shook. And that flame took hold inside me. I didn't want to wait for him. I wanted to kill the daylight between our bodies while my hands tangled in his hair. I wanted to know what he tasted like. There was so much I wanted, but in the end, I couldn't do any of those things.

And instead of his lips descending on mine, they veered left, and landed on the shell of my ear.

"And just so you know," he said with a ragged breath that I felt from the top of my scalp all the way down to my toes, "I'm not afraid of anything."

He pressed his lips on my cheek, and then he was gone.





Chapter Ten





Michael




I. Am. So. Fucking. Lame. It's 3:00 a.m. and I can't sleep, wound so tight that I jump at the slightest sound from next door. I kept going over my dinner with Jenna in my mind. And that stupid kiss at the end of the night. Her cheek … what the hell was I thinking? I should've captured her mouth, slammed her back against the door, and took her on the freaking couch for Christ's sake. Instead, I opted for a chaste peck on the cheek like I was her favorite uncle or something.

I'd gone soft. And though Jenna showed me her vulnerable side, I knew she didn't need soft. But this protective streak took up more of me than I wanted it to. And in my effort to be a stand-up guy, I'd completely forgotten what a woman like Jenna needed. Hell, I'd forgotten how to take what I needed

So instead of a sexy, willing woman tangled up in my bedsheets, I was alone and wide awake in the middle of the night fantasizing about the vixen who'd been tormenting me ever since I moved in.

And on top of it all, I was hot, sweaty, and irritated as all fuck.

She wanted me, I knew she did. The heat between us, the electric current that sparked at the briefest connection, couldn't be ignored.

The fact that she wasn't right for me made the situation even worse. It made me want her more. My eyes rolled back into my head thinking about the way she had touched me the first time. I'm a creepy fuck for thinking this way, but when she slipped in the courtyard and her hand grazed across my dick it did something to me. Of course it did. But I mean something more than physical, and I couldn't get her out of my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about how it would feel if she did touch me deliberately. If she wanted me.

Christ, why was it so hot in here?

I should've worn some goddamn clothes to bed so I wouldn't be so tempted to rub one off with her face in my head, her words in my ears, her touch on my skin. 

I gripped my shaft, low at the base, and allowed myself one slow stroke. It would be so fucking good with her. My fist pumped again, this time of its own volition. Soon, I was lost in the image of her strawberry hair and green eyes and all that porcelain skin. I was caught up in the grip of my fist, and the ache low in my balls. I let myself get off on it. And when I came hard and fast, nothing but her name was on my lips.



"Why are you such a bear this morning?" Tabby asked from the phone, far too early for the weekend. I slowly pried one lid open, and then the other.

"Hey T-bear," I yawned, "what's up?"

"Breakfast, you tool," she said, reminding me of our morning date. She was leaving soon and wanted to catch up before spring break. "What's wrong with you? You sound weird."

"You know how my weekends are," I told her. "I don't mean to be a dick, I'm just tired, that's all."

"I'm sorry, big brother, but you're not getting out of breakfast. I'm going to be in Mexico for ten days and I need to spend time with you before I leave."

"I want that too, Tab," I told her. I rolled out of bed, found a pair jeans on the floor and yanked them on, then scrounged around for a clean T-shirt. "I'll wait for you outside in the parking lot."

I was hoping maybe some fresh air would do me some good.

"Okay, I'll see you in about ten," she said before hanging up.

I hated the dread knotting in my stomach, knowing that I'd been betraying my sister by spending time with Jenna. But hell, I don't ever remember being so hard up for a girl. I had it bad, but maybe spending some time with Tab was exactly what I needed to get my head on straight.

Or not.

When I got out to the parking lot, Jenna was there with the mutts. Of fucking course. She looked adorable in her pj shorts and oversized sweatshirt, clomping around in a pair of winter boots. Molly and Ruby were running around her in circles, practically tying her up in their leashes. Perfect. That only brought to mind other things that I'd like to do with the woman. Those lucky mutts.

"Hey," I called out to her, unable to help myself. "There's a noise ordinance in the neighborhood, you know. We have quiet hours," I looked at my watch, "for another fifteen minutes."

"Is that so?" she asked, a soft smile on her lips.

I approached. "It is. Here, let me help you with that," I said as I grabbed Ruby's leash and tried to untangle her. I bent down and looped the leash between her legs, unraveling one and then the other.

Just don't touch her skin, moron.

"Why are you so nice to me?" she asked, the words hanging in a bubble above her head to illustrate what a schmuck I was. But I was so far beyond getting the message. Jenna's cinnamon scent filled the air around us making my brain all weird and fuzzy. I sucked it all into to my lungs, desperate to hold on to some little part of her.

Beautiful, now I sounded like a serial killer.

I touched her cheek, trying for some semblance of normal. "You deserve someone to be nice to you, Jenna. You deserve so much."

That was the absolute truth.

"So how did you sleep?" she asked.

"Not great. You?"

"Same. Are you working today?" she asked, reaching down to pet Oscar. I was already kneeling by Molly and Ruby, trying to keep them from twisting their leashes again.

"Yeah, I was just going out to grab some breakfast before my shift."

"Oh, you know I was wondering-"

I interrupted her by looking over my shoulder when Tabby arrived and never got a chance to hear the end of that sentence. My sister was there waiting for me, and I wasn't going to risk being seen with Jenna to set her off. So I turned away with hardly a goodbye.



       
         
       
        

Oscar barked at me as I made my way to Tabby's car. If I didn't know better, I'd swear he'd just called me an asshole.



Tabby and I caught up over omelets and pancakes, and I felt a little better when we parted. A little less like a turncoat. I wanted to tell her what Jenna and I were becoming, but I didn't know what that was so I decided not to mention it to Tab until I could define it. She didn't freak out when she saw Jenna in the courtyard, so maybe she was getting used to the idea of her being around.

The station was pretty quiet when I arrived for my shift. I know it's a little sick, but I was hoping for a shooting or robbery today to make things a little interesting. So far, all I'd seen was a few leftover drunks from the night before.