Never Again(34)
“Shall we shoot some pool or are you now too important to play with us?” Bradley challenges Jake with a raised eyebrow.
“I’m always up for kicking your butts,” Jake says smugly. He puts the beer down on the table, and takes the cue stick out of Bradley’s hands.
“How long are you home for?” Todd asks him during the game. Jake takes a swig of the beer, and leans on the pool table as he waits for his turn.
“I’ll be here until the beginning of March, and after then I’ll be all over the world.”
You almost forget Jake is a famous racer when you are in his company. The realization that I won’t see him much once March comes saddens me. I know we are only friends, but his friendship has become an important part of my life. I shift uncomfortably on the couch, and take a sip of the wine.
The party is in full swing. Some people are dancing and others are in the middle of a passionate conversation. Matt asks me to dance, and I say yes. Three slow songs later, we are pleasantly swaying to the music. I notice from the corner of my eye that Sophie is chatting with Todd and Jenna, and Marcia has just approached Jake. She puts her hand on his knee, and practically shoves her big breasts in his mouth. I revert my glance and focus on the dancing.
“You like him,” Matt states. “More than you care to admit, huh?”
“I don’t know. I have no clue what I feel. I’m so confused all the time. I’m still in love with Josh, but lately all I’ve been thinking about is Jake. Does that even make sense?”
He nods. “You’ll always love Josh. He’ll always hold a special part in your heart, no one can take that away from you. But it’s time to let someone else in your heart, to finally let your feelings come to the surface. You owe it to yourself.”
“Since when are you so smart?” I smile cheekily at him, and poke him playfully in his chest.
“I have my moments,” he grins.
“I love you. You know that, right? I’ll never forget how much you and Sophie did for me.”
“Yeah, we love you, too. But I mean it. You need someone, too. Someone to hug, to kiss, or just to be there for you, like I have Sophie. Nobody should be alone.” The song ends, and now Celine Dion is singing her Christmas song So This Is Christmas.
“I’m trying. It’s so damn hard. Even though I miss Josh like crazy, especially during times like these, I want to be close to somebody like Josh and I were, I don’t know if Jake is the right person for this.” Marcia is still all over Jake, and I don’t like it. I don’t like her hands on him. Am I jealous?
“Jake likes you, too. Perhaps you should let him in. You never know where it may lead.”
“And how do you know that, Dr. Phil?” I ask, my voice laced with sarcasm, my eyes still trained on Marcia and Jake.
“He told me.” I stop in my tracks, staring at him in shock. When the hell could Jake have told him that if they’ve only just met? He must see the question in my eyes so as he starts swaying me to the music again, he says, “We chatted a little during the pool game. He wanted to know everything about you. I don’t know why he’d ask me things like that if he wasn’t interested.”
Huh, I don’t know. Well, of course I like him. Who wouldn’t? I would have to be blind not to have noticed his piercing blue eyes with tiny flecks of gray, or his messy hair you just want to run your hands through. And every time he touches me, I get goose bumps. That’s how good his hands on my body feel. But there’s also his fame. I don’t know what kind of relationships he likes. He has plenty of opportunities for one-night stands, and to be honest, what man can resist those beautiful large-chested women that are present at every race? I saw it with my own eyes. They’re practically offering themselves to Jake on a silver platter. One of them is currently sitting pressed against Jake on the couch, trying to get him to bed. Her body language is clear—she’s pressing her chest into his side, talking sweetly with him, and Jake doesn’t seem to mind it. How would it feel if we started dating and I’d see him in every magazine and newspaper with different arm candy every time? Besides, there’s another big obstacle. An obstacle I have difficulty overcoming: motorcycling and motorcycles. Would I shake in my boots every time he sat on that bike? I don’t know if I’m strong enough for that.
Matt and I join the others who are playing cards. We are playing Uno, and Sophie is currently in the lead. We’re all impatiently waiting to jump in with the right color and number or for our turn to get rid of the cards.
“Hey, Emma,” Marcia calls quietly.