Never Again(22)

“Back and legs, right?” Nodding, he puts his chin on his hands that are crossed in front of him on the table. I get a nice view of his muscled body. He turns his head to me. I dribble some oil into my palms to warm my hands, and then I place them on his tanned back. At the first contact with his skin, my heart starts beating faster and I get even more nervous. I’m never nervous! I don’t know what’s happening. I try to collect myself, but his satisfied moan prevents that. I think my hands start shaking. It doesn’t help that his eyes are fixed on me at all times. I’m feeling as if the air in the room is filled with electricity.

“Mmm, this feels so good I might just die. Or perhaps I already died and went to heaven,” he says. I laugh, and suddenly I feel more relaxed. Once I’m done with one side of his back, I move around the table. The first thing I notice is that Jake has a huge tattoo on this side of his back. It looks like a beast, circled by three lines written in Latin, and it continues down on his belly.

“Interesting tattoo,” I say, as I put my hands back on his body.

“Yeah, I know,” he says, voice dripping with confidence. Suddenly, I feel a long line under my fingers where his tattoo is. A scar. I gently trace my fingers along the scar, and I feel him flinch under my touch.

“I’m sorry,” I say, and quickly move my hands away. I feel embarrassed for doing something so stupid. I didn’t mean to caress his scar, but my finger slid over his silky skin all on its own. I wonder what happened to him. I move to work on his legs, swallowing hard. First, I focus on his left foot, then I travel upwards, toward his biceps on the legs and his gluteus maximus. Every single part of his body is hard as steel. I have massaged my share of athletes, but none of them had such an effect on me as Jake. I don’t know whether to start a conversation with him or to remain silent. His closeness makes me uncomfortable, but not in a bad way. I haven’t felt anything like this since Josh.

Oh, god, Josh.

The thought of him sets me back on firm ground. Just the thought of another man makes me feel like I’m cheating on Josh. I get overwhelmed with sadness and guilt for lusting after another man. I decide to visit Josh’s grave as soon as I finish my work. It has been too long since I last visited. I feel guilty about that, too.

I focus on my job, not allowing the contact with Jake’s skin to tempt me anymore, so I can professionally finish massaging. I really hope he’s satisfied with my work. I wasn’t quite myself during the session. Jake’s closeness turned my brain into mush.



Jake



The touch of her hands on my skin is the best thing I’ve ever felt. Considering her petite figure, her hands on me are strong and confident. She knows exactly what she’s doing, and she isn’t afraid to show it. In the beginning of the massage, I accidentally let out a moan when she touched me. I thought I could contain it, but the feeling was too divine.

I watch her the whole time, yet she consistently avoids my eye contact. What’s troubling her? She then touches my scar, hidden under the tattoo, and the contact makes me flinch. I’m not used to people touching me there ever since the accident. I haven’t let any woman close to it. Soon after, I sense her mood change. It’s almost as if she turned into a robot. She’s still doing a great job massaging me. I can safely say this is the best massage I’ve ever had, but I feel her walls come up and a switch goes off inside her. Her touch is different now.

“All done,” she says, as she wipes her hands into a towel then leaves the room. I jump off the table, get dressed, and join her at the cash register where she hands me the receipt. I pull the money out of my pocket, so I can give it to her.

“Is everything alright?”

“Yes,” she answers.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m okay, alright?” she says sharply. I raise my hands in defense.

“Sorry, I wasn’t trying to be intrusive.”

She takes a deep breath and shakes her head. “No, it’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” She tries to give me back my change, but I refuse to take it, saying it’s a tip. “Thank you,” she says, and puts the money away.

“Finished for today?” I raise my brow as she puts on her coat and she nods. She opens her purse, and pulls out her car keys. “Meredith, I’m leaving! Have a nice holiday!” she calls out. I notice a hand appearing out the door at the end of the hall, waving.

“Do you want to grab a drink with me?” Hell if I won’t get her to go out with me.

“Um, I can’t... I have a... I have to be somewhere.” She tries to make an excuse.