“Of course I am. You are a mere man, and men don’t get women.”
Dan raised an eyebrow at me. “You’re more perplexing than most, baby girl. You had sex for money in life, but you act like someone killed a kitten when they use profanity. And seeing someone else have sex has you all squeamish.”
I got madder, but I wasn’t sure why. I needed him to back off in the worst way. “Well, I’m sorry my being a whore doesn’t jibe with the rest of the picture. If I bother you so much, it’s a big room. You can go to the other end of it.”
Dan’s face darkened, and now he was mad too. He seized me by the shoulders and made me face him. The show of strength made something in me wobble, and I inwardly cursed the submissive in me that got stupid every time he went Tarzan, King of the Library.
The dangerous note in his voice made me go very still. “I killed a man, so stop thinking I’m throwing stones. Damn – darn it Brandilynn, I’m not one to be sitting in judgment over you. I’m just trying to figure out what makes you tick.”
And there it was, the cocktail that turns me giddy every time. Concern mixed liberally with strength. Dang him.
I sighed, knowing I’d lost this battle. I adjusted his collar and smoothed his rumpled hair. “I can tell you a sad story about how my parents wouldn’t let me live my own life until I’d do anything to escape them. How they withheld love when I didn’t do things their way. I can put on my pathetic face and cry over the fiancée who broke off our engagement as soon as I let him in my pants. No doubt those issues had a hand in making me who I am, but let’s be honest shall we? After all, I’m dead and there’s no point in lying about my life.”
Dan eased his grip on my shoulders and rubbed up and down my arms. His voice a soft rumble, he said, “There’s nothing wrong with honesty.”
I smiled, unable to help myself. Dan was just too yummy to stay mad at. “Fine then. First thing. I don’t trust men, not enough to hitch my cart up to one for a long period of time. I got burned bad, and I can’t make myself feel better about it. Second point; I love sex. Especially kinky sex. It feels good with the right guy and I’m not going to apologize for wanting to do it or making a few bucks doing what I enjoy.”
Dan nodded. He didn’t look disgusted. He was dealing with the worst of me. Gold stars for him. “Third point?”
“I don’t like cussing because the world’s ugly enough without unnecessary vulgarity. Pussy and cock are fine when we’re in the bedroom, but the rest is just plain unattractive talk.” When he opened his mouth, I pointed a finger in warning. “I don’t care if it doesn’t make sense to you. It makes sense to me.”
“Fair enough,” he drawled. No humor marred his expression. He took me seriously. More stars. “Fourth?”
“I like watching people who put on a show. I like putting on a show myself. What I don’t like is seeing what should be private business, especially when it’s creepy vampire business.”
There. I had answered everything he asked. It was up to him to decide what to do with it.
Dan took his time doing that, still rubbing my bare arms with his big, strong, calloused hands. Jeez, I loved the feeling of his hands on me. Despite my best efforts, I was falling into sensual stupidity, wanting to discard my dress and bare every inch to that rough touch. I thought of him clenching my breasts, squeezing hard—
“Do you like me?” He brought me part way out of my fantasy.
I knew he referred to more than being friends. The candid way he stared into my eyes told me exactly what he wanted to know.
I swallowed. Fear of monogamy, of putting all my relationship eggs in one basket didn’t change the fact that I didn’t want to lose Dan as a sweetie. “I like you a lot, but I’m still not good with the commitment thing. I’m sorry.”
Dan’s hands moved up my arms, over my shoulders, up my neck and cupped my jaw. He leaned in close, and his mouth captured mine. The kiss was a gentle caress and he took his time with it. He made love to me with lips and tongue, making my insides flare with overwhelming heat. A spasm took my pussy, and I moaned into his mouth.
When Dan released me, I rubbed my thighs together in need. He pretended not to notice. “We’ll take it day by day. A friends with benefits plan to start with.”
Relief washed over me, but I had to be sure. “You’re okay with that?”
He took up one of my hands which traced the flat disk of his nipple through the shirt. He pressed a kiss to my palm then laid it on his very hard crotch. “What do you think?”