It hit me that I was sitting there talking about life as if mine were normal. There was no guarantee that I would even be around. Jude could possibly get rid of me at any second. I was intentionally beating around the bush, avoiding the matter at hand, and decided to stop it. “Daddy, what are your feelings about seeing Momma again?”
He shrugged. “Part of me is excited as I think I’ve ever been in my entire life.”
“And the other part?”
“The other part is scared to death.”
“Have you decided yet?” the waitress asked. I hadn’t even noticed her walking up to the table.
“Daddy, you know what you want?” I asked, glancing down at the menu for the first time.
“I’ll just have a buttermilk waffle with a side of country ham,” he said.
“Um, I’ll take a three-egg omelet with cheddar cheese, mushrooms, and green peppers,” I said, placing my order. “And we’ll both have orange juice. Two large, please.”
The waitress took the menus from us and said, “I’ll be right back.”
I resumed our conversation. “I can understand you being scared. I’m kind of scared about how things will go down myself.”
Daddy chuckled. “I can imagine. All I can say is the last time we saw each other, which was in the courtroom for our divorce, she looked like she wanted to kill me with her bare hands.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t have been there for you that day, in court.”
“Jonquinette, that was the last place you needed to be. I’m sorry I couldn’t have been there for you during the rest of your educational years and after.” He lowered his eyes to the table. “I feel like such a failure.”
“Daddy, you are anything but a failure. You are a kind, loving, compassionate man whose life was screwed up because of circumstances beyond your control. The bottom line is this is all my fault. All mine.”
“Jonquinette, you can’t go blaming yourself for this. This is not your fault. You have an illness and that is not something you can control.”
“Yes, but why did this have to happen to me? To our family?” I asked him, in search of answers.
Daddy didn’t respond, but a troubled expression came across his face.
“Sorry,” I said. “I can’t expect you to know the reasoning behind all of this any more than me. I just don’t understand.”
“That’s what the doctor is for, right?” Daddy asked. He grinned, I’m sure to try to reassure me. “I haven’t met this Dr. Spencer yet but she sounds like a good person.”
“She is a great person.”
“Then let’s just wait and see what happens. We’ll take this one day at a time.”
“That’s the only way to take life,” I agreed.
The waitress returned with our food and it hit the spot. We had about four hours before we were due to meet Momma at the park so I took Daddy sightseeing. Even though Atlanta was only four hours from him, he’d never actually seen the city. He’d only bypassed it on the highway going from Florida to North Carolina.
We got to the park at two o’clock on the dot. I spotted Momma’s car in the parking lot.
“She’s already here,” I told Daddy.
He searched the immediate area for her. “Where? I don’t see her.”
“I don’t see her. I just see her car.” I parked next to Momma’s Buick and cut off my ignition.
“I was about to say,” he said, “I know it’s been years but I would hope that I could still recognize Meredith.”
“Oh, you’ll recognize her.” I giggled. “Momma hasn’t really changed a bit. She’s just as glamorous as ever. Never a hair out of place.”
“Even though Meredith was always a bit too materialistic for me, I have to give it to her. She always, always looked good. There was never a day that I wasn’t proud to have her on my arm.”
“Aw, Daddy, are you saying that Momma was your showpiece?”
He blushed. “I wouldn’t go as far as to say all that, but I’d rather have a pretty woman on my arm than an ugly one any day.”
“I bet Flower’s mother is pretty,” I said. “You can tell that by looking at her daughter.”
Daddy shrugged as he undid his seat belt. “Allison looks okay. She’s not Meredith, though. My one and only true love.”
I glanced over at Daddy and prayed he didn’t have hopes of actually getting back together with Momma. Forgiveness was one thing; falling back into the groove like nothing ever happened was something totally different.
I took my seat belt off and got out of the car, meeting Daddy in the back by the trunk. I unlocked it and took out the picnic basket and blanket. Daddy took the basket from me and we headed down a path toward the shelter area where Momma was supposed to meet us. When we got within seventy yards of it, we saw her sitting on the top of one of the four wooden picnic tables. She had on a casual velvet pantsuit and her hair was pinned up.