“Several.”
“Please tell me about them, Jonquinette. If it isn’t too painful.”
“It’s painful, but that’s why I came here.” I finally looked Dr. Spencer in the eyes. “There was Mrs. Greer’s dog.”
“Mrs. Greer?”
“Our next-door neighbor when we lived in Florida. She was the nicest old lady and I swear I’d never do anything to hurt her. I’d never do that. Not ever.”
“But someone did?”
“She said I was on the porch complaining about Shadow, her poodle, barking. I never did that. I loved Shadow.”
“Whom did she tell that to?”
“My parents. She came over after…After…” I hesitated.
“After what?”
“After someone poisoned Shadow. It wasn’t me. I wouldn’t even know where to get any rat poison but—”
“But?”
I lowered my eyes. “My daddy found an empty can under my bed.”
“And Shadow was poisoned to death?”
“Yes. Poor thing.”
“And the next incident?”
“Seventh grade. Someone put hair remover in the shampoo bottles in the girls’ locker room.”
“They said you did it?”
“No, no one said I did it that time.”
“Then what makes you think you had something to do with it?”
“Three empty bottles of hair remover in my locker.”
“Oh, I see.”
“It just went on and on until—”
“Until what?”
“Until the really bad things started to happen.”
“What sorts of things?”
The tears started falling before I felt them coming.
“I can’t do this.” I wiped my tears with my bare hand. “I’m sorry but I just can’t.”
Dr. Spencer got up, walked around the desk, and started caressing my shoulders.
“Jonquinette, please continue. I can’t help you unless you confide in me.”
“I didn’t really come here to discuss my childhood,” I whispered.
“Then what did you come here to discuss?”
“The things that are happening to me now.”
“Like?”
I was so ashamed, but it had to come out. “The reason I think I’m insane is because I wake up sometimes and I’m wearing clothes I’ve never seen; my hair is curled instead of up; my glasses are tossed someplace; a couple of times they were even broken. And then there’s the other stuff.”
“What other stuff?”
I clamped my eyes shut. I’d never felt so degraded. “Dr. Spencer, sometimes there are strange smells on my body, on my breath, all over me. Sometimes there’s sticky stuff between my legs and—”
Dr. Spencer sat down on the corner of her desk, facing me, and lifted my chin with her hand so I’d look at her. “Jonquinette, are you telling me that you have sex with men and don’t remember it?”
“That’s the really crazy part, Dr. Spencer.”
“Please, call me Marcella.”
“Marcella, I’ve never been with a man. I’ve never had sex but—”
“But?”
“Somehow I managed to break my hymen and even contract one venereal disease.”
“How do you know that?”
“An OB/GYN told me. My freshman year in college something happened to me. I had gone to the library one day to study and I somehow blacked out. Afterward I went to the campus clinic because I was sore down there and I didn’t know why.”
“And this has been happening ever since then?”
“Yes, it has.”
Admitting it caused an instant breakdown. I grabbed hold of Marcella’s arm and began to cry. I buried my head into her chest; She wrapped her other arm around me.
“I’m so afraid,” I whimpered. “What’s wrong with me? Am I really insane?”
“No, I don’t think you’re insane,” she said reassuringly. “If you were insane, you wouldn’t have sought me out to help you. And I will help you, Jonquinette. I promise you that.”
9
jude
Jon had lost her fucking mind. I couldn’t believe she went up there and told that bitch all of our fucking business. She was going to have to pay for that. And promising that doctor chick that she’d let her continue to help? Not as long as there was one breath left in my body.
To top things off, Jon had the nerve to leave there and go to the grocery store. She knew how much I hated the grocery store. Nothing but a bunch of bratty-ass kids begging their parents for candy, sugar-infested juices, or salty foods.
When I took over, we were walking down the pasta aisle. Of course, there was a hard-headed chap blocking the way. I jerked my cart toward him but he didn’t budge. Just glared at me and rolled his eyes. His mother was picking out a box of elbow macaroni.