Friends were one thing, but I couldn’t help wondering if Ryan’s family would resent me. My mom had been upset when Andrew and I had broken up. My parents liked him, and they were saddened by the loss of him as a potential son-in-law. Three years of knowing someone because he dated your daughter didn’t compare to someone who dated your son for two-thirds of a decade and grew up with your children.
I bet that Catherine and Ryan’s sister, Lauren, were close. They were probably best friends. No wonder Ryan had to be so sure that breaking up with Catherine was really what he wanted. If I felt that Ryan had turned my life upside down, I could only imagine what I’d done to his.
These last few days with Ryan had been wonderful. With the exception of last night and time spent at work, Ryan and I spent every moment together and I was looking forward to spending the next four glorious days with him. However, I recognized that there was little outside influence in any of the time we had spent together; we had created our own little happy corner of the universe. If life could continue like this, I wouldn’t complain, but I knew the reality of life would face us next week. This conversation with his mom was just a small flavor of what we were in for.
Until now, I hadn’t thought about how our relationship was going to be perceived by his family and friends. I realized now that Catherine may always be in the picture, but had very little knowledge or understanding of how much. I was hesitant to ask Ryan, since I didn’t want to come off as an annoying, jealous girlfriend. It killed me, though, to know that people would always be comparing me to Catherine and that Ryan would have to defend and explain his new relationship with me. People were going to assume the worst. Would they think badly of me? Or Ryan? Or both of us? From the tone of his phone conversation with his mother, I could only conclude that she disapproved of his actions.
Ryan came back inside, looking distracted. “Sorry about that,” he said.
“Is everything okay?” I asked with concern.
Ryan took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair. “My mom just spoke to Catherine.”
“Oh,” I tried to sound surprised. “So she knows then about you guys breaking up?”
“She does now, yes.” He looked up at me guiltily. “I hadn’t told her, but she called Catherine about something and Catherine gave her the CliffsNotes version.”
My fears were warranted. Ryan’s family and Catherine were very close, close enough that they called one another regularly. His mom had no reason to think anything was wrong or anything had changed between Ryan and Catherine. Until now.
“Does she know about me?” I asked cautiously.
“Yes, I just told her.” Ryan looked irritated. He saw my hesitation and his face softened from frustration to gentle concern. He walked up to me, placing his hands around my waist. “Jules, this isn’t something I want you to worry about, okay? My mom will get over it. I won’t lie to you and say that she isn’t upset about Catherine and me, but that doesn’t mean she won’t come to love you like I do.” He crinkled his eyebrows like he was debating whether or not to say something more. He then blew out a long breath as if the topic was exhausting for him. “At the end of the day, I’m her son and she ultimately wants me to make the choices that will make me happy, not her or anyone else.”
I noticed he called me “Jules” for the first time. I liked it because it sounded intimate. Only the people closest to me called me Jules. I snuggled in closer to him, playing with the top buttons of his shirt. I thought about his reply to my question; despite the strength of his argument, something still bothered me. It had been a week since he had broken it off with Catherine. Why hadn’t he told anyone?
Unable to share what was truly bothering me, I looked away and tried to shrug it off. “I get it. There’s a long history with your family and Catherine. I’m okay. I understand that your mom and Catherine were close. I can deal with it.”
Ryan tilted my chin up, forcing me to look him in the eye. He didn’t look convinced and gave me a quizzical gaze.
I sighed heavily and decided to confess to him what was really bothering me. “I guess I’m just wondering why you waited to tell her. I mean, breaking off your engagement is a pretty big deal. Were you afraid of what she or others might think of me? Of us being together? She disapproves, doesn’t she?”
His eyes widened, surprised by my comment. He then gave me a thoughtful, hard look. “No. She has no reason to disapprove of you. Any dishonesty was done on my part, not yours. She won’t judge you like that. It’s me she’s disappointed with.” His mouth creased into a tight line. “She just needs some time to adjust.”