“What about you? Are you going to check out any shows?”
As Kyle waited for me to answer his question, in the corner of my eye, I noticed Ryan enter the bar. He spotted me immediately. We made quick eye contact, but then both looked away. Kyle looked over his shoulder to follow my gaze and noticed Ryan. He nodded to him in acknowledgement. Much to my surprise, Ryan walked over to our table, but didn’t sit down, thank goodness.
“Hey, Kyle, how’s it going?” Ryan asked casually, glancing briefly over at me.
“Good, good,” Kyle said.
“Great job on the FY13 agency negotiations. I heard you did well on the training sessions too,” said Ryan with genuine appreciation. He was totally in VP mode right now.
Kyle was beaming. That was really nice of Ryan to say. I smiled for Kyle, too, for a job well done.
“Yeah, thanks for saying that, but I didn’t do it all alone. I had a lot of help from the rest of my team,” Kyle said modestly. He actually looked a little embarrassed.
Wow, he was humble, too. Really, what’s wrong with me that I wasn’t attracted to someone as great as Kyle? Ryan looked expectantly at me and Kyle introduced us without hesitation.
“Ryan, this is Julia Hayes. She’s the new Digital Relationship Marketing Manager working for Catherine Galer. Julia, this is Ryan McGraw, our fearless leader.” Kyle grinned. He was clearly in a good mood from the recent compliment from his VP and started on his second beer.
I couldn’t help realizing that this was our second awkward meeting in which we pretended not to know one another. It killed me that we were putting on such a charade. The moment our hands touched, shivers ran up my spine. I ached to touch him more. I just wanted him to hold me and kiss me and tell me that everything was going to be okay. Instead, I politely said, “Nice to meet you.”
He studied me as if he was trying to read something more in my cautious expression. I did the same and thought I saw something brighten briefly in his eyes. I saw a yearning for more, the same emotion that ran through my veins, but I also saw the underlying shadow of regret and unease lingering behind those beautiful blue eyes of his. What are you thinking about, Ryan?
Kyle didn’t seem to notice the silent exchange between Ryan and me. He asked if l’d like another beer and I nodded. I wouldn’t have said yes if I’d known Kyle was going to step away to ask the bartender directly for our drinks. For a moment, I panicked, not wanting to be left alone with Ryan. How can we have a conversation of any normality surrounded by his employees? I didn’t have to worry, because as soon as Kyle started to step towards the bar, someone had already approached Ryan, wanting his attention.
While Ryan was momentarily distracted, I followed Kyle to the bar to get away from the rest of the group. If I hung out within the vicinity of Ryan for any length of time, it was going to unnerve me and I was petrified of what my emotions would show. I needed to get away from him and leave or at least put some physical distance between us.
I sat on a stool at the bar and because I didn’t look like I was going anywhere, Kyle sat down in the stool next to me. I could see Ryan clearly from my seat and I noticed him watching me from the corner of his eye, so I shamelessly leaned over to touch Kyle’s shoulder and flirtatiously congratulated him for the work that Ryan had just complimented him on. Kyle seemed neither surprised nor bothered by my touch and if anything, he seemed to welcome it.
Our stools faced each other, which meant that sometimes our knees inadvertently touched. We sipped our drinks and he told me a story about how one of the agency training attendees actually had his ass crack on display for all to see. He figured the guy was one of the more technical engineers at the company, since people in marketing were usually too vain or self-aware to leave their ass out. We laughed about the guy’s cluelessness and how no one from his company would tell the poor guy that his backside was showing.
Of course, I played up our conversation for Ryan’s viewing benefit. I wanted him to see me in my cute skinny jeans, touching knees with an attractive, intelligent, great guy like Kyle. I wanted him to see me enjoying myself and being the object of someone else’s affections. I wanted him to see what he was missing. Damn him right now for not choosing me. And if he still didn’t know what he wanted, well then, maybe this was a good reminder.
When I finally looked over at Ryan, he was watching us like a hawk and didn’t seem to be making much of an attempt to hide his dissatisfaction. His mouth was in a hard line.
I felt guilty about Kyle. I hoped Ryan didn’t hold this against him somehow; he looked downright pissed. Well, this is what you’re missing, Ryan. Suck it up.