Nerd Girl(48)

Eventually, our conversation split into two. Ryan and Ethan started talking about the Sounders’ season while Anna, Dexter, and I discussed the wedding. I noticed that Ethan and Ryan seemed to be getting along well. They both had a passion for soccer and Husky football and I had visions of the four of us tailgating and going to football games together. The fact that our SOs got along was always important to Anna and me, especially because it made it easier for us to see each other. We used to discuss how great life would be when we were both married with kids. Anna and I would hang out as usual, our husbands would watch sports in the basement or barbeque outside, and our beautiful and perfect children would not only be cousins, but the best of friends.

And just like that, I was shamelessly letting my mind wander into the realm of Ryan as a potential spouse. Next thing I knew, I’d be practicing writing Julia McGraw in my journal. I did like the sound of that. I really needed to stop. I was so going to get myself in trouble if I started thinking that stuff already.

As if Anna could read my mind, she waved her hand in my face. “Earth calling Julia.”

I refocused and looked at her.

She chuckled at me and shook her head. “I was asking if you wanted me to pick you up tomorrow to go to the bridal shop.”

“Oh, yes, sure.”

As the dinner party came to an end, Ryan insisted on paying my portion of the check. We gave our hugs and goodbyes and Dexter pecked me on both cheeks, European style.

“Bye, love. I’ll call you when Jamie and I figure out details about our commitment ceremony. Though, at this rate, I’ll have to plan that all myself, too,” he joked.

Anna hugged Ryan a second time and gushed about how glad she was to have met him and how happy she was that he was able to join us tonight.

There was a lot of hugging going on. I really do love these people. I couldn’t help contemplating what sort of role Ryan would play in the future with them. A part of me was nervous for any sort of attachments to start between Ethan and Ryan; or Anna, for that matter.

Julia, don’t get ahead of yourself on this one. I waved a final goodbye to my sister and started walking back to my place with Ryan. Not one block down, I heard my phone chime a text.



Dexter: Not sure what happened to A, but R seems great. Total HOTTIE too! U go girl! Great seeing u.

Me: :) Love u and miss u already!



“Everything okay?” Ryan asked.

“Yeah,” I giggled. “It’s from Dexter. Just said he had fun tonight and missed me already.” I’ll have to send him an email next week to catch up sans Ryan.

Through dinner, each of us had several glasses of wine. I had exceeded my two drink limit and was happily a little drunk, but not yet to the stumbling point. To my pleasant and welcome surprise, Ryan grabbed my hand and held it through our short walk back to my place. His hand felt strong, warm, and comforting. I was all smiles tonight; blissfully happy at this very moment. I felt such a natural chemistry and pull between us. Did he feel it too?

As he walked me to my door, I wasn’t sure whether or not to invite him in. I didn’t want to seem too forward. The thought of making out with him on my sofa or bed was more than a bit tantalizing. We entered the main building lobby and he followed me down the hall to my door.

“Do you want to come in?” I asked shyly.

“No,” he said quietly.

I knew I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t help feeling a little wounded by his rebuff. I think he sensed it too, because he gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

“I had a really amazing time with you today, Julia. It’s been...eye opening for me. But I think we should take it slow.”

Relief flooded over me. For a moment there, I thought he was declining because he wasn’t sure about his interest in me. Then it begged the question, did wanting to take it slow mean he was interested in seeing me again?

“Okay,” I replied, not revealing any hint of my internal monologue.

The look on his face was familiar and it brought flashbacks of that night at Betty’s in front of my car. I could tell he was battling with something in his brain. If only I could read his mind and help him work through it.

“Goodnight,” he said, leaning over to hug me.

I drank in his scent, his closeness. We both instinctively turned our heads slightly towards one another. I could feel his breath lightly tickling my neck. He smelled so good, a combination of soap and just Ryan. His nearness, his touch, and warmth were intoxicating. We both lingered in the embrace for a moment longer and then I felt the gentle caress of his lips on my neck. My blood instantly started to boil. I turned my face into his and his lips reached for mine. He kissed me gently at first, slowly and softly, like putting your toe tentatively in water to check the temperature. His lips were so soft and warm and he tasted subtly like delicious wine. As his mouth lingered on mine, I opened mine wider to feel his tongue and let him in. I caressed his neck and gripped the back of his head more firmly, kissing him back with more fervor. He returned with his own escalating hunger.