Nerd Girl(32)

I was sort of glad to see he didn’t use Facebook much. There’s a distinction, in my opinion, of those who used Facebook too much and those who used it just as a means of staying in touch. I never understood those who used it like therapy and posted something on it daily or multiple times a day. They tried to think of the wittiest remark that would get them the most “likes” as possible. Not that there was anything wrong with that, because I was curious enough to see what they had going on in their life and sometimes the stuff that was posted was really interesting. However, it gets really annoying when someone tells me that they have laundry to do or they just cleaned their garage. I don’t really need to know those details of their life. They might as well tell me that they just clipped their toenails or picked a wedgie out of their ass, for as much value as their comments were worth.

I digress. I liked that Ryan was private from this aspect and he didn’t feel the need to jump on the Facebook bandwagon. He didn’t need the daily affirmation that someone “liked” him.

I looked at his LinkedIn profile next. It was a public profile, but when I clicked on it, it revealed only some basic information about his position and career at MS. I guessed people like him, in executive positions, weren’t facing a shortage of any job offers. I supposed there was very little need for him to maintain a profile on LinkedIn. I, on the other hand, had updated mine a month ago.

The search results also returned several stories from various technology trade magazines and online blog sites. There were a ton of these and his name was referenced in several of them. I clicked on a YouTube link. Jackpot. His gorgeous blue eyes were staring back at me in several short videos. In one clip, he was discussing the cloud revolution and how it would change how we used and marketed software. There was a town hall meeting forum for something, and another one looked like a speech at a conference of some sort. I watched one of the videos where he discussed the cloud. He had the same conversational tone that he used when he delivered his speech at the All Hands meeting earlier today. He looked focused and relaxed, but commanding and confident. I watched his lips move and his Adam’s apple bob up and down and thought about how nice it would be to run my tongue over it.

Oh God. I’ve got it bad. I’ve turned into a stalker. I was completely mesmerized by the wealth of information available on the web. It was like a dessert buffet. I just wanted to taste everything in front of me. I checked our corporate intranet next. If this much information was available about him on the web, I was certain to find just as much information in our internal corporate websites.

I searched on our main MS internal homepage. Again, there were a bunch of search results for his various speeches, interviews, presentations and awards. I clicked on what looked to be an org chart. No surprises there. He was obviously at partner level status. Only the senior and most elite executives got partner level status at MS. From the little that I knew, partner level executives had a different compensation model and earned higher salaries and bonuses as a result … much higher salaries.

I was blown away by how much Ryan had done at such a young age. I wondered if MS was where he saw his future or if it was just a stepping stone to something else? Regardless, his mind was an intellectual asset that would be in demand no matter what he decided to do.

If we were to ever get involved, I pondered the HR implications. As my coworkers had discussed the other day, there were a lot of people who met, dated, and married someone they had met at MS. However, I also knew that an official rule got broken when two people within the same reporting structure got involved. Ryan and I were in different organizations and I wasn’t in his line of command. If we were to date, HR wouldn’t be able to do anything. But that didn’t mean it was okay, did it?

It was common knowledge that the minions of MS, like me, just didn’t associate or date the executive staff. If people were ever to find out, the gossip mill would be out of control and it would be potentially detrimental to both of our careers. He obviously had more to lose than me. Is that why he held back that night at Betty’s?

Thinking back to that night, I had trouble rationalizing the two Ryans I had witnessed. At Betty’s, he was laid back, easy to talk to, personable, humble, adorable and sexy. He was someone I could totally see myself going out with. In both these videos and the meeting this afternoon, he was a commanding person with a strong executive presence. He seemed untouchable and in a completely different league than me; the image of corporate confidence and ambition. I wasn’t sure I could relate to this person. Would someone like this ever be interested in someone like me? We were on two different playing fields of the universe. What would Mia, Kyle, or Vivek say if they ever found out about us? That assumed there was an us to even explore.