Oh my God! Did I say that out loud? I instantly blushed and quickly covered my mouth with one of my hands. “Did I just say that?”
He rewarded my verbal misstep with a boyish grin. Those dimples were going to be the end of me. He was adorable. For an extremely handsome thirty-seven-year-old man, he was acting like bashful little boy. Maybe he wasn’t used to compliments. I would’ve thought he’d have women falling all over him.
That’s good, I supposed. Maybe he wasn’t a player then. I glanced down at his left hand and there was neither a ring nor any trace that anything had been there. Interesting. I always wondered why an attractive man in his late thirties or early forties was still unattached. In addition to his looks, he seemed charming and intelligent. He was gainfully employed, owned his own home, and by all appearances, was a normal, sane person. So why didn’t he have a girlfriend? Or a wife, for that matter? Maybe he was in between relationships like me … He wouldn’t have asked me to dinner if he had a girlfriend, right?
As I pondered these thoughts, our waitress arrived and asked if we were ready to order. Since we were both regulars here, neither of us needed to look at the menu; he ordered the rib eye steak with shoestring fries and I ordered the pan-roasted chicken.
After our waitress left, Ryan gave me a full smile. “So who were you supposed to meet here, before he or she bailed on you?”
“My sister, Anna. She’s getting married next month. She had some appointment come up at the last minute regarding her reception dinner menu.” My previous irritation with her had been replaced with gratitude. I’ll have to remember to thank her when I see her on Sunday.
“Are the two of you close?”
I nodded and decided to elaborate. “We’re twins, actually. Fraternal twins, so we look similar, but we’re not identical,” I added. People always needed to confirm the difference between fraternal versus identical. Adding this detail became habit over the years.
He raised his eyebrows in surprise or maybe curiosity. “What’s it like being a twin?”
This was a common question, whenever people learned I had shared a womb with my sister. I gave him my usual answer. “Well, we’re pretty different. She’s the pretty one, I’m the smart one. She’s the social butterfly, I’m reserved and quiet. She’s definitely more daring and spontaneous, whereas I’m more structured and conservative.”
He appeared to be studying me and didn’t respond right away. I could tell he was thinking through his response and it made me feel a little nervous and vulnerable to be under his thoughtful inspection. He narrowed his eyes. “Why do you say she’s the pretty one?”
Well, that certainly wasn’t the response I normally got. I stammered in my attempt to answer him. “Um, w-well, you know … she got all the boys growing up, and still does. Though, she’s getting married, so now she’s off the market.”
He scoffed. “Well, I don’t know her, and I only just met you, so I can’t completely judge here, but you don’t appear to be that reserved. Structured and conservative, I believe. You sort of have to be to work at MS. I think maybe you’re not giving yourself a fair shot against your sister. Maybe she’s just more outgoing than you are, so men might feel more comfortable approaching her, because you’re definitely pretty. You’re a knockout, actually.” He grinned broadly and made a point of looking me up and down with a goofy leer on his face. “The fact that you don’t seem to know this is what’s really sweet and refreshing about you.”
I gulped. Wow. I was momentarily speechless. My cheeks flushed and I sputtered a thank you. His words were flattering, and in an effort to hide my embarrassment, I felt the need to explain further. “You’re right about Anna. We actually chose to go to two different colleges and I think it was the best thing for me. We were terrified to split up, but it forced me to come out of my shell somewhat and it gave me some room to build my own confidence and become more independent. Not that I wasn’t before, but I recognized that I needed to find my own identity, without always falling into the familiar territory of being Anna’s twin sister. She really dominated our world more often than not, but I really am okay with it. I know it sounds disingenuous, but it’s the truth. She’s my twin sister. It’s just who we are. It’s not like we ever tried to hurt one another. We just truly accept each other as we are.”
Nodding, Ryan pondered my explanation. “Thanks for explaining that. I didn’t mean to judge. Like I said, I don’t know Anna. All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t sell yourself so short,” he said unapologetically.