“I was curious. I wanted to see if it brings us closer. And I love him.”
“Well, as long as you’re okay with it and didn’t feel forced into doing something you weren’t ready for.”
“It’s too late now anyway, right?”
“It’s not too late to stop having sex moving forward.”
“I just thought I’d feel different…better about things…and I don’t.”
“Sex sometimes only complicates things even further.”
God, look who’s talking. It was like I needed my own advice.
“I almost feel more afraid than I was before,” she said.
“Since you’re being so honest with me, I’m going to tell you something very personal.”
“Okay.”
“You asked me a while back if I’d met anyone since Elec. At the time, there wasn’t anyone, but since then, I have met someone. He became my really good friend, but the problem is, I ended up developing strong feelings for him.”
“Did you have sex with him?”
“Well, that’s the thing. Even though we’re adults, which makes it less risky than it is at your age, he doesn’t want to take that step with me. It’s not because he’s not attracted to me. The temptation is there. But for some reason, he doesn’t feel that he can commit to me in the long term. So, he made the decision to not let things go any further, because he understands that sex does complicate things, and he’s trying to protect my feelings. He’s right, because a sexual relationship is not a step that anyone should take unless they’re sure. Even though I wish things were different, deep down, I respect his decision. I respect him so much for not using me or taking advantage of my vulnerability and for not wanting to hurt me.”
In an odd way, it made me love him even more, which was so fucked-up.
“Are you crying?” Ariel asked.
Wiping my eyes, I chuckled through my tears. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“See…sometimes, adults need to talk, too.”
Everyday I would tell myself that today was the day I would go over to Damien’s and apologize, and each day, I would let the opportunity pass me by. It never felt like the right time.
Sometimes, life doesn’t wait for the right time. Sometimes, a sudden situation brings people together whether they are ready for it or not.
One Wednesday, upon arriving home from work, the building super was standing outside with one of the dogs—but not both—which seemed odd. Upon closer look, I realized he was with Dudley.
“Hey, Murray. What’s going on? Where’s Damien?”
The look on his face worried me. “Drewfus was hit by a car today.”
My stomach sank. “What? Is he okay?”
“I’m not sure. He took him to the animal hospital. Boss was pretty shaken up.”
Dudley would normally be jumping up and down around me, but instead, he was quiet and didn’t seem himself.
“Did Dudley see it happen?”
“I think so. I wasn’t here. I guess Drewfus just took off suddenly, and it all happened so fast.”
My heart was aching for Damien. The dogs were his life. Filled with dread, I took out my phone and sent him a text.
Is Drewfus okay?
It was several minutes before he responded.
Damien: He’s in surgery. Some broken limbs and internal damage. I won’t know more until he’s out.
Breathing out a sigh of relief that the dog was alive, I typed.
Chelsea: I’m with Murray. Can I take Dudley to your apartment? What can I do?
Damien: That would be great.
Chelsea: Okay. I still have my key from last time.
Damien: Thank you.
Chelsea: Of course.
Once inside Damien’s apartment, it broke my heart to see how flustered Dudley was as he frantically searched all of the rooms for his best friend. The Double Ds were like right arms to each other. If he’d seen the accident happen, that had to have been traumatic.
He also refused to eat, which was very unlike him. I didn’t know what else to do. When I sat down on the couch, he hopped up to join me and rested his chin on my stomach. I began to slowly massage his smooth scalp to calm him. I couldn’t think of any better purpose for myself today than to be comforting this animal. My fingers continued to stroke his forehead until his lazy eyelids fluttered closed. He’d fallen asleep.
Since I hadn’t peed since coming home from work, I carefully slid my body from under Dudley to use Damien’s bathroom.
Upon returning, I noticed a notepad on the kitchen counter that seemed to have a number of different things scribbled on it from telephone numbers to grocery items to doodles. But it was the word written randomly in the corner of the notepad in an elaborate graffiti-like font that really stood out: Chelsea.