“Like this?”
When I exaggeratedly flicked my tongue slowly along my corn dog’s obscene crusted tip, Damien looked away. “Okay…um, fuck. That’s too much.”
“Sorry.”
“The fuck you are, you evil bitch.” He laughed.
Holy shit.
When I looked down, his erection was apparent.
“Wow, it doesn’t take much, huh?”
“Not today, it doesn’t.”
I reached my corn dog out to him. “Corn dog, meet Horn Dog.”
He handed me his pizza, took the corn dog and ate it.
After lunch, we hit the amusement park, and every effort was made to combat the remaining sexual tension between us as we rode nearly every single ride in the place. Well, we went on every ride that didn’t involve heights; I couldn’t handle those.
It had felt so cathartic to intentionally crash into Damien on the bumper cars. I would mentally shout at him with every collision.
“This is for saying you only want to be friends.”
“This is for bringing that redheaded whore back to your apartment.”
“This is for kissing me today.”
Each crash into him felt better than the last.
“We can’t leave without going on the Giant Dipper,” he said.
“No way. I don’t do roller coasters.”
“Come on, Chelsea. I’ll hold your hand.”
Was it sick that I was considering it just so I could touch him again?
“I really don’t want to.”
He stopped walking and faced me. “Can I tell you a secret?”
“Yes.”
“One of the last memories I have of my father was riding that coaster with him. We came here the week before he died. That’s part of the reason why I wanted to come back. I hadn’t been able to return here since. I felt it was time. Coming back here was on my bucket list, but I didn’t want to do it alone. I wanted you with me, because you comfort me, Chelsea.” He pointed up to the giant coaster. “Tackling that thing is sort of the final step today. I really don’t want to go up there without you next to me. So, see…I might need you to hold my hand just as much as you need me.”
How was I possibly going to say no to that?
On the verge of tears, I said, “Okay.”
He was beaming. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. Let’s go before I change my mind.”
Just like many things in life, the anticipation was far worse than the actual fall. I chose not to take Damien’s hand, instead opting to hold on tightly with both of mine. The anxiety that escalated on the way up unraveled when we plunged down for the first time. It turned out to be exhilarating, and I was really glad that I’d experienced it. I guess the ride was sort of like Damien: I knew it was probably going to end, that it wasn’t really going anywhere, but I was still enjoying the ups and downs of knowing him.
A little dizzy when we stepped off, I said, “Wow. That was actually really fun.”
“Thank you for going with me.”
“I guess we’re even today. We helped each other out in different ways.”
He moved a piece of hair away from my face. “The sun is setting. I used to love watching all of these lights from a distance on the beach. Wanna take a walk before we head home?”
A walk on the beach with Damien sounded exactly like how I wanted to end the day. “Sure.”
We grabbed some cotton candy and made our way to the beach, which had emptied out. It was a cool evening. Damien took off his jacket and threw it over my shoulders. The wind was blowing my hair into my face and into the cotton candy. He surprised me when he took off his beanie, too, and placed it over my head.
“That should hold it back so you can eat.”
I loved the warm feel of the knit fabric on my head.
“Thanks.”
He looked even more handsome with his hair flattened from the hat. I was having a hard time preventing myself from looking over at him instead of the magnificent amusement park lights in the distance.
The beauty of this night was making me emotional. It was quiet aside from the sound of the waves crashing. With each step, the realization of everything that happened today was starting to hit me. At one point, I suddenly stopped walking and just stared out into the lights in the distance.
His voice from behind startled me. “Say it, Chelsea.”
I turned around to face him. “What?”
“I can sense all of the thoughts spinning around in that pretty little head. I could feel them for the past several minutes. You need to get something off your chest. Do it.”
“Why did you have to kiss me like that today?” I finally spit out.
“I thought it was clear why I kissed you.”
“I know why you did it…but why did you have to make it feel so…real?”